On bad language and "good" girls..

"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."

Cheris Cramarae
Paula Triechler

I am seething. Raving. Hopping. Mad.
Somehow I seem to have an extremely volatile temper these days, and inane statements from my friends dont seem to help either.
Let me call my illustrious friend N. N and I were hanging out at our usual coffee place, twiddling our thumbs, waiting for the rest of our friends. At that instance, my coffee cup slips and I spill a little bit of the coffee onto my new sweater. Mind you the coffee was boiling, and my new sweater was white in color. So in a fit of annoyance, I uttered a profanity. N, with a condescending expression on his face exclaims, "Good Indian girls dont swear. Its a turnoff for Indian guys."
I was aghast. This was a guy, who cannot speak two sentences without using his 'favorite' profanities, and yes, he has favorites. His expertise in swear words transcends five languages including English, Tamil, Hindi and French. My first instinct was to swear AT him, just to piss him off, but I swallowed my anger, which in my case is NOT a good idea(think calm before the storm), and I asked him to elucidate on his enlightening reasoning behind this statement. Surprise, surprise he had no reasoning whatsoever, he just 'knows' that Indian girls should'nt swear because it does not suit them.
This sad as it is, and however far fetched it may seem, is a child of a patriarchal society, which is one of the downfalls of modern India. My estimation is not limited only to one gender, Ive had Indian girls tell me that using profanity is a sin against God (Where did God come into the picture?),and quite hypocritically and predictably, Ive heard them spew forth a barrage of swear words, when they're angry or upset over something.
This is the seed of patriarchy, where boys are made to believe that women should be 'pure' and 'virginal' and they shouldn't expect anything less from a girl. The girls are fed the exact same poison; they have to live upto an arbitrary 'virginal' image and god forbid, if they stray away and try to be HUMAN for a little bit. Either girls are little sanctimonious virgins or filthy prosititutes. Whatever happened to a 'middle ground'? This partiarchy in turn breeds hypocrisy , since you cant do anything openly, put up a 'holier than thou' image and 'live' life on the sly.
Unfortunately our society harbors a deep hatred for anything to do with the feminine and puts lofty ideals on the girls head, but boys are left scot free, because 'boys will be boys', oh, how I hate that statement with a smoldering rage.
To all the N's( Im sorry N, I warned you) and all the sickeningly righteous 'others', all I have to say is:
Go Fuck yourselves.
There, I said it. So sue me.


On an acid trip in delusion.......

Got TAGGED again by Manish this time. This time thankfully I have to list the esteeming qualities of a "perfect lover".
I must be on acid....
So here goes....

Sex of the "lover": Must be MALE. Now that we've crossed that hurdle lets move on...

1. First of all he must be tall. Not tall as in "Im 5'7"...Im very tall!". He must be at the very least six feet tall. No exceptions. Why, do you ask? Well because Im a munchkin and Im in awe of the titans who defy gravity. If you believed this smack, well you must be on acid too. The answer(pin drop silence as suspense kills you) is : Im tall! Im freakin 5'10" so really give me a break if I demand a tall guy.

2. Must know how to cook(and NO, toast does not count). I love cooking, but Im not a Bawarchi and I simply refuse to slave away in the kitchen, while he sits around on his ass after a TIRING day at work:sitting around on his ASS. I would absolutely LOVE cooking with him, as there is nothing more romantic than cooking together on a rainy day and settling down in front of a movie...*SIGH*

3. Must know how to argue. Must be endowed with utmost patience to argue with me on feminist issues, politics, religion, animal welfare, fall fashion trends and the list goes on. AND must argue without going off into fits of anger(that will be reserved only for me).

4. Must not letch at other women in my presence. Any letching will be rewarded with a resounding slap. He can eyeball women discreetly though. And he must not go ballistic when I eyeball other guys(Im pretty discreet).

5. Must LOVE travelling and trying out new things. I was born with an innate curiosity to try and experience as many different things as possible so I do not want a sourpuss. He must be as ebullient about life as I am.

6. Must not judge me, change me, try to make me over, whatever, by the movies I watch, the clothes I wear, the length of my hair, the language I speak, the amount of alcohol I drink....must not judge me, EVER.

7. Must love movies. Not just Indian movies, but must be tolerant enough to endure a barrage of movies : from Danish to Korean to Japanese Anime.....and of course English. Duh.

8. Must grow long hair a la Aslam(Kunal Kapoor)in Rang De Basanti, every once in a while....and absolutely MUST NOT have a moustache. A clean shaven face would be perfect, but a little bit of stubble may be allowed ocassionally.

So there you have it. My "perfect lover". The above post was a delusional outing into the realms of fantasy, so if there is a species on earth which fits the above description, call me.