On an acid trip in delusion.......

Got TAGGED again by Manish this time. This time thankfully I have to list the esteeming qualities of a "perfect lover".
I must be on acid....
So here goes....

Sex of the "lover": Must be MALE. Now that we've crossed that hurdle lets move on...

1. First of all he must be tall. Not tall as in "Im 5'7"...Im very tall!". He must be at the very least six feet tall. No exceptions. Why, do you ask? Well because Im a munchkin and Im in awe of the titans who defy gravity. If you believed this smack, well you must be on acid too. The answer(pin drop silence as suspense kills you) is : Im tall! Im freakin 5'10" so really give me a break if I demand a tall guy.

2. Must know how to cook(and NO, toast does not count). I love cooking, but Im not a Bawarchi and I simply refuse to slave away in the kitchen, while he sits around on his ass after a TIRING day at work:sitting around on his ASS. I would absolutely LOVE cooking with him, as there is nothing more romantic than cooking together on a rainy day and settling down in front of a movie...*SIGH*

3. Must know how to argue. Must be endowed with utmost patience to argue with me on feminist issues, politics, religion, animal welfare, fall fashion trends and the list goes on. AND must argue without going off into fits of anger(that will be reserved only for me).

4. Must not letch at other women in my presence. Any letching will be rewarded with a resounding slap. He can eyeball women discreetly though. And he must not go ballistic when I eyeball other guys(Im pretty discreet).

5. Must LOVE travelling and trying out new things. I was born with an innate curiosity to try and experience as many different things as possible so I do not want a sourpuss. He must be as ebullient about life as I am.

6. Must not judge me, change me, try to make me over, whatever, by the movies I watch, the clothes I wear, the length of my hair, the language I speak, the amount of alcohol I drink....must not judge me, EVER.

7. Must love movies. Not just Indian movies, but must be tolerant enough to endure a barrage of movies : from Danish to Korean to Japanese Anime.....and of course English. Duh.

8. Must grow long hair a la Aslam(Kunal Kapoor)in Rang De Basanti, every once in a while....and absolutely MUST NOT have a moustache. A clean shaven face would be perfect, but a little bit of stubble may be allowed ocassionally.

So there you have it. My "perfect lover". The above post was a delusional outing into the realms of fantasy, so if there is a species on earth which fits the above description, call me.


Hiren Shah said...

Interesting points. Except for the leching part, the rest are feasible. Yesterday too, I was surprised going through another list that there is no mention of poets. I thought poetry and romance were somewhat synonymous. In a lighter vein, let me lobby on behalf of them:-

My dear Megha
Aasp ke points dekh ke mujhe laga (After looking at your points, I felt)
Ke poetry ko to aapne diya hai daga ( That you have given the cold shoulder to poetry)
Poetry ke liye bhi aapke points main honi chaahiye thi Jagah (There should be a place for it too)
Poetry ke saath aapka jeevan aise hota Jaise sangeet main Ragha (With it your life would have been like Ragah in Music)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

hahahahaha Hiren....I might be one of the few cold souls who can appreciate poetry, but I dont have patience for LONG love ballads and the like....but I do like humourous limericks though!
Keep clicking!

ada-paavi!!!! said...

the leching part seems kinda unreasnoble, idu enna gnayam? oru sooper figure ponna kandipa sight adipm, adukku kuda ban potta gnayama? its not like u wont sightadichify some really good guys walk past u.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Ha ha Vatsan...I said dont letch OPENLY. to quote "He can eyeball women discreetly though. And he must not go ballistic when I eyeball other guys(Im pretty discreet)."........ippo purinjitha....LOL....:P

Sridhar said...

I was washed out at req 1 :( ... am only 5'9.5'')
Req 5!! /me zips my lips :P ... I am getting ideas.
Geez... looks like u r a movie freak too. I have a separate movie blog.

My requirement is actually simpler
- 130+ IQ ... some gals have hard time understanding my jokes
- Knowledge of atleast one modern computer language... prefferably C
- Multilingual ( atleast eng,hindi,tamil. kannada would be an added advantage)
- Great at dancing and singing

ada-paavi!!!! said...

discrere\open is relative,

apporam it will be come like ferraris he-she series

flutteringeyes said...

you are 5'7 and you think you are munchkin!!!!

if you are munchkin, what am I? (I am 5'1 ish...actuallY I am 5 feet and .7 inches...but I ilke rounding it up...haha)

Venkat Ramanan said...

Felt like reading an Indian version of M&B!!!
Good luck to you for meeting your dream man soon :)

G U R U said...

"Whatever it may be - fantasies, dreams or wishes, be careful about what you desire. It may just happen."


FJ said...

Ok.. thats a great list.. keep searching.. I wish u get that phone call soon... from somewhere in siberia..ha ha..

Vasu the terrible said...

Pretty interesting and absolutely fair list of people.

I dont know anyone who is perfect on this...

The closest someone comes to is Danny D'Vito.

except for the height part ? What is the thing about height anyway ? Isnt it better to have a short man do everything else you want than have a tall man working on yout nerves..

let me know, if you want danny's number.


SamY said...

way 2 discrete, gud luk madam

Nahuatl said...

Tall? Uh oh! u almost near me :D

Hair? hmm... no thanks :)

Manish said...

Well... thats a tough call for a guy... par u never know... ur fantasy may turn into reality... so b on a watch ;)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@vatsan: haa haa paakalaam!
@Fluttering eyes: Im actually 5'10". and welcome to the turf!
@Sridhar: Ha ha....sorry to hear you were washed out at req 1....5'9" and a half......hmmmmmm......maybe next time;)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Venkat Ramanan: ha haaa...I think M&B is more textbook romance and I'm anything but that! BTW I havent read a single book of M&B.....I was more into horror novels:)

@GURU: awwwwwww....well what do you suggest....:P

@ Venkataprasad: Haaaa haaaa. Siberia is fine too! do you know anyone in siberia;)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Vasu: Danny De Vito...hmmmm I would have gone for him.....except for the fact that hes a little more than a FOOT shorter than me....but still its a good idea...can I have his number please?

@ Samy: with a list like that...I think I need all the luck I can get...thanks!

@ Nayan: well ...well... Hair...why not? Looking at the length of your hair judging by this pic I dont think youre too far away...LOL..ha ha!

@ Manish: ha haaaa...I know..so any suggestions?

Anonymous said...

Ha haaa.....I thought this species was extinct! If you find any let me know!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Hey Sarahhhh!
what the heck are you doing up so freakin late!!!!And why arent you online on MSN????
well well....I know its a lost species eh? If I know any we'll share:P
P.S: How about that treat at P.F. Chang???? Just a thought:)

FJ said...

ha ha.. keep waiting.. and the sharing thing was not in the list ..anyway it makes the list much more inviting now :))

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Well Venkat....wishful thinking....;)!!!!
More inviting eh.....in your dreams maybe......:P

FJ said...

of course if Sarah does not have her own list or if she has one which contradicts yours..
the guy from siberia is on the way anyway.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Thanks youuuuuuuuuu.....I dont discriminate....Siberians are fine by me....:P:P:P

REFLEX said...

I am here. Give me u r phone number :).

Hey Hey, Will married ppl are allowed to call u ;). I think I am voted down on this point :(.

Rohit Talwar said...

"Stubble to be allowed occassionally"

You're VERY Precise! :P

All the best!

Vikram H said...

hey i completely endorse your views on the religious post!..The government has been showing double standards for way too long!!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Reflex: Well well...u must know that married people need not even apply...but I may allow..exceptions:P

@Rohit: Thanks for the comment! and keep visiting! Well...unfortunately being insanely precise to the last detail is in my genes....my mom is like that....so yea I need all the luck I can get:)!

@ Vikram:Of course....Indian govt should be a synonym for "appalling double standards"....

Anonymous said...

Dude! Totally...! If you fine one,im pretty sure that he's the lone survivor of a dying species so, I'll get the crowd too! We'll all have him:P
aint that something..LOL

Sanity Starved said...

So many comments and no one asked for your number! *sighs*
No one made the cut, eh?

That was super fun to read! :D

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@sanity starved: ha ha...actually I was offered numbers...but a lot of them got disheartened after reading the points cos they knew they didnt make the cut....LOL(im not super strict about them though....the rules can bend)...:P:P:P

the wannabe indian punkster said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
yuvraj said...

nice blog gal...i guess u are in to desi movies...

all i can say is "keep huntin"....and i will keep my fingers crossed...

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Thanks Yuvraj!
I keep that in mind;)

Vasu the terrible said...

Danny is a foot shorter than you.. but look at it this way, he would definitely have a different perspective than anyone else... He sure does see a lot of things differently..

But what is the whole deal about height anyway ??

I hope you are not co-relating height to .... never mind...

Danny can sure crack open a walnut with his jokes..


the wannabe indian punkster said...

well well.....freakin typo: 'I'll' !!!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Ha ha Vasu, Im not corelating height to "YES! I know what you mean!!!!".
However feminist/Hindu/blah blah I am theres something about looking UP into a guys face....*SIGH*......:P:P:P
Can I still get Danny's number....lol

Vincent said...

Hi Megha,
My first time here :)
I know its not a good idea to hit on a girl in the first post. But you asked for it.

Allow me to explain how closely I fit your expections.

1. Tall - I'm 6'2" (Well almost, with shoes on)
2. Cooking - I'm not lying. I really can cook, one of the things you learn by default when living alone.
3. Arguments - I can start one now. Where do you get off telling me that I sit on my ass all day at work?
4.Subtle leching - Yes.
5. Love travelling and trying out new things - Yes.
6. "Must not judge me, change me.. " - I'd expect the same out of you too.
7. Movie freak - Yes. All kinds.(You should also be equally understanding enough to sit through a Steven Seagal movie with me from time to time.)
a) Long hair - You happen to write this while I'm in a transitional period where I do have long hair.
b) Clean Shaven - I can work on that.

Yuvraj said...

ok..sorry for making an invalid comment...u watch full metal alchemist...it`s an kick ass animation i have ever seen..

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Vincent: Oh wow do you really exist? Ok now I gotta share you with my group of friends.....is that k?.....lol....:P:P:P
BTW welcome to the turf:):):)
@Yuvraj: Fullmetal Alchemist is freakin awesome!!!! Glad to know you like anime too!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Vincent: Steven Seagal??????? Ok now thats gonna be super hard....:P:P:P:P

Vincent said...

You want to share me with your friends ? Sure thing! That is perfectly okay if they're non-english speaking lingerie models.

And hey Megs, sitting through a Steven Seagal movie is not as hard as you make it seem. They're way better than most Bollywood masala potboilers. There's martial arts action, there's nudity, there's cars blowing up, people getting cut up.. What more do you want from a movie? :P

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Well thats kinda true!!!!

yuvraj said...

have u seen ghost in the shell part 1 and 2.?
i bet steven segal can do good in bollywod flicks....

Vasu the terrible said...

Dany devito is a metaphar...

If you do are damm serious about getting his number... a friend of mine (while I Was in US) told me that he was dating danny's niece.

I can get it for you...

Looking up, looking down they are all the same... there is one practical thing you can do, make the guy learn to walk in stilts..


the wannabe indian punkster said...

@yuvraj: I like part 2 better...and Steven Seagal sucks......he has masteres the art of "ONE expression for all movies"...........LOL

@ Vasu: hah ha........ok number pls:P

shrutified said...

i like this perfect lover! and i LOVE samurai champloo :-D

Anonymous said...

came here from DV's blog ...good to read this list but as say "realms of fantasy" :-))
i dont have a blog so i cant tag , can u ?


REFLEX said...

check my recent blog.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Shrutified: I like him too! Does this species still exist on this earth? Samurai Champloo is the bomb! Another fantastic anime in the line of Samurai Champloo is 'Ergoproxy'so be sure to check it out:). And welcome to the turf!
@ Monsh: I guess you can TAG even if you dont have a blog.

@ REflex: I will check it out presently.

Vincent said...

"Does this species still exist on this earth? "

uh.. Hello ? I thought the position had been filled.
You're giving up because I like to watch the occasional Seagal/Arnie/Van Damme/Vin Diesel flicks with the guys over beer.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Well well......the hair is fine...but how about a real picture eh?

Vincent said...

At the risk of blowing my closely guarded secret identity?
No way.

On second thought, its no big deal.. I'll mail it to you.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Ha..sure thing.

Nav said...

I can't believe you got 53 Comments!?!

But then I noticed you had probably contributed about 20 yourself. Give or take.

Interesting post. And good luck! *grins*

Ajay said...

whoa..the comments r longer than the post:)

ashok said...

very interesting...good luck!

Φ said...

hmm gud luc in the hunt. Don b too drawn to the outter confabulations..see its empty inside.. :)

yuvraj said...

when is the next post gal?i am expectin some thing....i wil be online tonite....

None said...

aw man! i had all these ideas too, BEFORE i got married! :) not that it makes any diff my husband is not totally the man of my dreams. with all his deviations from my best-laid plains, he remains the man of my waking hours! :)
btw, got some mobile images on my photo blog. care to see?


the wannabe indian punkster said...

@Nav: Well....is there a problem?.......:):):).....and welcome to the turf!
@ Ajay: What can I say.....:)
@Φ: I know.....I tried to fit in everything in eight points you see....:)
@ Yuvraj: Soon....:)
@ Ramya: Sure thing.....:)!

Nav said...

Ty. Glad to be here. And this comment would bring the count to 61...Mindboggling :|

suryakannan said...

better organise an exhibition n select one.Comments are pouring in like thundershower.so many capable guys and truckloads of CV s.u ll hav a tough time selecting one!!! i think a screening test ll do gud!

Kaps said...

The comments made interesting reading. best of luck with the search and do let us know whether u made any compromises.

BTW, guys seem to possess better cooking skills these days. How is that for an argument?

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@suryakannan: Haa haa Ill keep that in mind!
@Kaps:This was one of those vague TAGS..I didnt even put much thought into it...I was just posting it cos I got tagged by two people and I didnt want to be TaGGED again about the "8 points of a lover or whatever"! Ha ha and you 'wish' that guys possess better cooking skills! Dream on.....:P

Dreamvendor said...

That was an interesting list.

"He can eyeball women discreetly though."

Need he ask more :P

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Dreamvendor: Exactly...need he ask more!!!!!

Tara said...

Haha those are exactly my requirements. Especially the argument thing. Isn't that what keeps things interesting ? Oh well im pretty happy with someone right now though, but he's not all the stuff on the list. Oh and for me interest in music is VITAL. Will probably be No:1 and member of a band is preferable :) With a high-ish IQ. Oh who am i kidding!!
Hope u find yours soon :)
oh and I just put the link to my msn space there. it might not work, but whatever.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

hah! our preferences are tooooo complicated for the ordinary man...dont you think;).......well I can still hope.....:)

sairamnagarajan said...

Hmmm. Perfect man eh? Sounds all rather very feminist to me. But then that's the new breed of today's women. Fortunately for me my raging temper gets the better of me everytime in relationships. The limited number I've had anyway.
Your experience with men would have taught you that men SURVIVE on letching. Besides my dear girl, men might have their own stipulations for their perfect girl :P

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Well it was a tag......and sounds very feminist?????? Well if it does so be it. Besides I have allowed letching, but letching discreetly not openly:)

nina said...

well apart from the fact that i am 5'6" its looks like this could be my post!!!can i give a link on my blog to this so that i do not have to type it out again???PLEASE!!!

P-Boff said...

I found your blog in the oddest way. My boyfriend ( who happens to be Caucasian; I'm Indian) is obsessed with lungis and found your blog entry on it. I've been skimming your blog and I came across this entry. I have the guy for you! He's my cousin. He's 6'1'', Konkani speaker, 25 years old, works for Booze, Allen and Hamilton in Va., is insanely patient, loves watching movies from everywhere, loves trying out new stuff and is subtly lecherous!! THe only thing he struggles with is cooking, although he makes a mean fuyong rice. Geez. You guys would be such a match. Haha.

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