An update.

Ok, I've decided to get rid of the 'previous posts' part from my sidebar, cos'.....

1. It was such an abberation to the eye (ok, my eye)! Much as I tried, I could NEVER put it in order, and words kept overlapping each other, it was just one bloody mess.

2. I'm very anal when it comes to unimportant details like this. So, bite me.

Finally, to make it look a little better, Ive replaced it with a compendium of selected posts with the title 'skeletonizing the punkness' right under the 'archives', which will be updated quite regularly.

So after wasting your time with meaningless info which none of you care about in the first place, I have to bid adieu.

Please scroll down for regular programming.


Walking up and down the street ......Afraid of every man I meet......... Had enough and gettin' tough...... Puttin' on my black belt now..

A prelude to this post:

I debated not enabling comments on this post, I actually disabled comments for a little bit. I know this post classifies as a bonafide RANT, but in all fairness its my feelings Ive poured out in this post, and I couldnt bring myself to be subjected to trolls and acidic criticism.
I know that Ive been particularly hateful in this post. But whatever hateful things Ive mentioned was aimed at the Indian goverment, the moral brigade and chamchas of the Indian government ONLY and not all of mankind or men.

Remember patriarchy affects men as badly as it affects women. Patriarchy subjugates men to fit an unrealistic mould, to be 'macho', to confirm to unrealistic ideals like 'showing your feelings makes you girly' and worst of all...patriarchy forces men into sexism, even if they dont want to be that way. Patriarchy coerces men into unconciously indulging in misogynistic behavior.

So I hope you get my drift.
Im sorry if I have hurt anyone's sentiments.

Curiosity I think, is what made me enable comments again.

Just when I thought I'll fill my blog with light, frivolous and cutesy, what-did-I-eat-for-brunch-and-other-enlightening-titbits-of-my-life kinda posts, something comes along and schlep's me back into reality. Now I know that I've recieved a not-so-sizeable-but-conspicuous-enough amount of flak from some of you, about my so called 'female centric' posts.

To those of you who can see reason, let me explain.

I may sound very contentious when it comes to talking about women's rights, but that IS a part of my essentia and I cannot cast off that part of me. If you still havent noticed that by now, you need to invest in

So, here we go.

I was immersed in my usual rounds of random news-website surfing, when I came across
this enlightening bit of news.

Here is an excerpt:

A hostel in Madurai has been forcing students to maintain a public register of their menstrual cycle.

This is to prevent premarital sex and to ensure that teenage girls do not go astray.

The invasion of privacy has been taking place for years at the government hostel for poor and backward class students in Tamil Nadu's Madurai district.

The register has columns for the exact dates of their cycle. Even slightly irregular dates invite snide remarks and harsh reprimands by the hostel warden.

Another excerpt from the same article:

The hostel has just one bathroom but that is exclusively for the warden. The girls can enter it but only to clean it and not use it.

Ironically the moral brigade is unconcerned about the fact that the girls have to bathe out in the open after dusk.

I guess I convinced myself that I'll never see this day. I know I've used an extremely acerbic tone in my previous posts....but deep down, I've always harbored a silent wisp of hope and fealty in our system, somehow wishing that things will get better.

How naive of me.

I should have known that patriarchy has women cornered at every turn. I can see images of rape, of foeticide, of impotent scum controlling women in the name of 'morality', of women being blamed for and used as pawns in the biggest aberrations of history, I can see it all.
I want to run to these women, to hold them, to help them, but what can be done?
What can you do, if cunningly and methodically, patriarchy has seeped into our very being? What can you do if patriarchy has made it a point albeit a mission to HATE women and everything connected to womankind? Why so much hate? Why, why, why?

The 'moral brigade' of our country feeds on this hate. Street harassment, dowry deaths, seclusion during periods, infanticide, child-marriage....and this hate-list goes on and on. What binds all the aforementioned atrocities? The fact that WOMEN are blamed. in one way or the other for EVERYTHING. Examples:

Street harassment: Oh, she was asking for it, by dressing like that.

Dowry deaths: The cow-bride did not provide enough money. So it was her fault.

Seclusion: Women are dirty. Our Dharmic Shastras say this(what shasthras, you'll never get to know...just a vague reference to Dharmic Shastras is what youll get on questioning).

Infanticide: Girls are a 'burden'.

Child marriage: Now this....I cannot fathom the reason behind this monstrosity. I really cant.

So, how can you live and thrive in a society which hates you only because you were born a woman?

As I sit here and write this, my soul cleaves in half at the hatred perpetuated by patriarchy, the deep-seated abhorrence I feel in my bones because of feeling the way I do, of wishing that I didnt feel this way, of hoping/praying that something somewhere will change.

And here is another issue which has irked my very being.

The murder of Meher Bhargava.

Not too long ago, didnt we all post about Street-sexual-harassment?
I particularly mentioned, that we have to fight back, did'nt I?

Fie on my decision to mislead the women of India. We should never fight back. Never, ever, fight back. Because you never know, an impotent swine with a political backing might just shoot you in the neck. Uh-huh. Please put up with groping, lascivious looks, old horny sex-starved pigs pleasuring themselves in front of you, and so on. Atleast you'll remain alive.

Being the cursed animals that we are, we tempt the men with our carnal looks and desires, so we deserve to be shot and killed if we fight back. Let us please emulate heroes like
Sachin Pahadi, for cleaning the Indian society of its filth: its women.

How do you deal with incidents like this? How can you live with yourself knowing that the hate within you and the hate perpetuated by the society has entwined itself?

I am not going to find answers........and I dont wish to find them either.

The moral police of India, and vermin like Sachin Pahadi, only stand to pique my repugnance with their filth.

Post Script: Many thanks to Desipundit for bringing light to the Meher Bhargava issue, by making it a sticky post and featuring this rant of mine.



If you still havent understood the nature of this post from the blatantly obvious title, I suggest you stop right now, and desist from reading this post any further.
But then again its upto you, O' omnipotent reader.

As a kid, I always hated the Ramayana. I really did. Apart from being arduously boring, it was a laboriously contrived crying-fest from start to finish, or so my 7-year old psyche led me to believe.
But as I grew older, I slowly began to develop a less flippant attitude towards the Ramayana.
Somehow, the nuances in each character began to intrigue me, and Sita in particular piqued my budding interest even further.

Now Sita has forever been represented as an epitome of inhuman virtuousness, wasting away a lifetime of devotion and service to her husband, only to be publicly maligned and exiled by Rama in the name of 'the greater good'. The 'greater good' being a pathetic dhobi and his miserable wife, doing what poverty stricken people usually do to entertain themselves: indulge in malicious gossip (not that people from the higher echelons of society are seraphic angels, but I'm trying to drive a point here). So, their untoward remarks irked Rama to such an extent that he convinced himself that the whole kingdom of Ayodhya was talking about her, and seeds of dissent planted itself in his mind and he ludicrously decided to banish her while she was heavily pregnant with his children, to boot.

And note: Sita had to go through the 'Agnipariksha' right after returning from exile. The above-mentioned incident happened after Sita passed through the Agnipariksha unscathed and Rama and Sita had been ruling Ayodhya as king and queen for a while. So Rama constantly had bouts of extreme insecurity with respect to Sita's character.

So much for the 'ideal' man.

I may be digressing here, but if you wish to argue on the accuracy of the incidents mentioned above, please do so AFTER reading a legit translation of either Valmiki's Ramayana, or Ramcharitamanas by Swami Tulasidas and THEN try to dispute my statements.

Let us move on to a normal Indian woman's disposition. The model of an Indian woman was, and is based on the unrealistic and unrelenting virtuosity of Sita. While it is commendable that Sita is not represented as a wanton harlot, it is disheartening to note that Sita's character is solely derived from her devotion to Rama. Sita has absolutely no identity of her own. Here is a Verse from Valmiki's Ramayana which mirrors the above view:

"Hanuman, the loyal monkey ally of Rama says: For a woman the greatest decoration is her lord and Sita, though incomparably beautiful, no longer shines in Rama's absence."

Ahhh, the seeds of patriarchy, I tell you.

Patriarchy has a way of using the Rama myth to build up the image of an 'ideal male', and unfortunately it has a way of focusing on Sita's devotion, and Sita's selflessness alone to project the image of an 'ideal female'. The common Indian woman is told to bear every preposterous action of her husband, because a 'good' Indian wife does not speak up, does not complain, her place is with her 'Lord'.
If she harbors thoughts of leaving him then she is 'fallen', and anyway an Indian woman has no personal identity, she belongs to her parents before marriage and she belongs to her husband and his family after marriage.
If shes unhappy in her marriage, it becomes her cardinal duty to stay in the marriage, even more so, because she can 'prove' what a good wife she is. Thereby throwing her happiness out the window for the 'greater good' of staying with her wastrel of a husband.
And the most deplorable aspect of this is that, the women themselves do not leave their husbands for fear of being ostracised by the society. Divorce in most parts of India is considered a shameful admission of a womans failure as a wife and daughter in law.
Food for thought: In a 1998 study, divorced women made up a miniscule 0.08% of the total female population in India.

Now doesn't this remind you of long suffering Sita? Patriarchy has cleverly pulled yarn over our eyes by glorifying Sita's suffering as exemplary, because of Rama being the perfect man, Sita must be blessed to bear with his 'occasional' transgression as well.

If patriarchy can use the character of Sita to suppress women, it can also be used more creatively to highlight the tribulations of women as a whole. Thereby focusing on the trails of Sita as a warning , instead of justifying her suffering.

I think women or anyone for that matter, should read a version of the Ramayana written by a WOMAN. Yes, I said 'woman', and yes it may sound blasphemous to you, but dont you know that most epics in the world are relative, told strictly from the eyes of the poet or the scribe?
Here are some versions to help you along the way of opening up a new perspective on the Ramayana:

1. Chandrabati's 16th century Bengali Ramayana.

2. Ranganayakamma's 'Ramayana Vishabriksham'.

3. Molla's 16th century Telugu Ramayana.

Or you can read these books if you find it hard to get a hold of the aforementioned versions: "Many Ramayanas; The Diversity of a Narrative Tradition in South Asia" edited by Paula Richman and "Questioning Ramayanas: A South Asian Tradition" again by Paula Richman.

Sounds very dull and blase' I know, but if you've been observing my sidebar, you would know that Ive read these books and it is ANYTHING but dull, I guarantee it.

Personally, I would have loved to have Draupadi as a role model, what with her agressiveness, her frank and beautiful friendship with Krishna and her five husbands. But I cant aspire for the stars can I?
I can fathom that Sita will forever remain a role model for the Indian woman, and my only plea is to look at her selfless sacrifice and wasted virtuousness as an injunction, not as an example to emulate.

As the blemishless Sita will forever be the vagabond, the stray waif, insecure, unvalued, and shunned.

And that is why as a mark of respect to the unsullied Sita, I think that the Ramayana should be re-christened as the Sitayana.

For it is only fair.

Post Script: On a totally unrelated note, my post on the stigma of menstruation, has been featured in the XIth carnival of feminists!

So be sure to check the carnival out peep's, as there is some super-fantabulous (God, I sound cheesy! But what the heck :D) writing out there!

And thanks a ton to 'Angry for a reason' to feature my post!

Spread the 'chalu-ness' sistahs!

P.P.S: Gosh I cant seem to stop updating!

Karthik has brought to my attention, an intriguing article in the Hindu about a retelling of the Ramayana from a woman's perspective.

More info on how to procure the book can be found here.

Many thanks to Karthik for bringing it to my attention, and to you folks out there....TAKE heed of the plug, and be sure to check the book out!


Lungi longings..........

It's that time of the year.
Tis' the time for reminiscing with a steaming hot cup of coffee, while snow storms rage on and temperatures drop to alarmingly low levels.

But being the freak that I am, I started reminiscing about a hitherto ignored aspect of Tamil culture; the unsung hero of traditional outfits: the snazzy Lungi.
Yes, you heard me right, I said Lungi, and I am proud of this fashion-forward garment, and what it represents.

Allow me to elucidate.

Picture yourself on the roads of Chennai. Look around you. From the milkman, to the dhobhi-wallah, to the incongruous uncle on the street dragging his reluctant kid to school, there is one key element which binds them all, THE LUNGI.
Why? Simply because the lungi is one of the most comfortable garments ever.
I don't need to wear one to know that it's comfortable.

I may be digressing here, but I have to describe the lungi for you unenlightened beings.
Think dhoti, but made with a cheaper material and with *ahem* 'interesting' colors and patterns.

What is so unambiguous about the lungi, you ask?

First and most cardinal, NOTHING is more comfortable than a piece of cloth, when worn properly resembles a sack with a hole cut out in the bottom for feet to come through.
I mean how nifty is that? Its one of those ideas where you go "Now why didn’t I think of that?"
But that is where the brilliance lies. Who would look at a sack and say "Aha….if only people could wear something as shapeless as that, and I can just cut out the bottom...ummm." AND proceed to act upon that stroke of brilliance?

I also have to give kudos to the natty patterns on the lungi. I can safely say that you will NEVER see those patterns on any other boring garments we wear today.
I mean, how about the most famous pattern; thick slate grey and blue checks?
Now really I for one wouldn't have come up with an innovative color combination like that. Being the predictable creature that I am, I would have paired slate grey with red: a bright color with a staple color.
But the lungi designer is one step ahead of us. Knowing that the aam junta of Tamilnadu wears this garment to work, he has paired two solid colors: grey and blue, giving the garment a crisp, professional and polished look (Look at pic for reference) :

As for the other patterns, the Mallu's(sorry, no hard feelings) have made a mockery of the lungi design. Mixing atrocious magenta with green, orange with yellow, I mean come on? Subtlety anyone?
But, that being said, the Mallu's are one step ahead of us. I have seen several women in Kerala, happily wearing lungi's and I cant help but burn with jealousy looking at their fashion-forwardness.
Now I know some of you might be gagging now, I mean come on...WOMEN wearing lungi's?
But that is where the male of the species have scored, women, big time.
We have been given the short end of the stick yet again, by the men.
What garment do we have, to contest the lungi?
Definitely not the darnded sari, which is a six yard long peice of cloth, meant to be tucked in 500 different places in complicated angles, and the end result makes you feel like you've been embalmed and mummified.
Walking in the sari is an event in itself. Try walking in it without looking like an upright fish, thrashing around for dear life.
How about the mental trauma you go through while wearing the saree? On top of the torture of wearing the saree itself, you are constantly in a state of vexation and anxiety as to whether it will fall apart or not, and last but definitely not the least, it is THE single most revealing outfit ever. Not to mention, you are putting yourself out there as bait for the roadside-romeos who will gleefully accost you with shouts of "Aaja mere gaadi mein beit ja chamiya"(come hither sit in my car hot stuff) or "vaa di yean kapa-kazhangu........yean kapa-kazhangu"( come here my hot root vegetable or something as bawdy as that).
Come on women. I feel your pain. I know that you deserve better. And THAT is where the lungi comes in.
How convenient is the lungi? Being the cylindrical garment that it is, you can easily put it on, tie it in a knot around your waist and forget about it. Tying a knot is not your thing? No problemo! Pair it with a spiffy bohemian belt and you're good to go!
The Mallu lungi can also be worn by women to keep away pesky road romeos. Nothing on heaven or earth can match the obnoxiousness of the patterns on a Mallu lungi, and rest assured NO ONE would want to heckle you. You might attract looks of derision however, but it is a small price to pay for anonymity and comfort.
For you club hopping girls, nothing I repeat, nothing is as versatile as the lungi. Have you seen the average rickshaw-wallah in the middle of the afternoon? He would have folded his lungi in half to beat the heat, and there you have it: The desi MINI-SKIRT.
Imagine the looks youll get when you are strutting your stuff in a lungi folded in half, jazzed up with a belt and high heels.
What Indians dont realise is that, with the versatility of the lungi, we can give the fashion houses of the world a run for their money.
Pshaw at Gucci, Prada and Chanel for their arduous and convulted styles!

So join me fellow Indians, in venerating the unmarred lungi. There should be a bill passed in the houses of parliament to honor the lungi as the most conventional and versatile outfit of India, nothing more nothing less.

Whoever you are O' illustrious designer of the
lungi, I salute thee.

Post Script: Comments from the Support the Sari Foundation and The Association of Insensitive Men Who Have Nothing Better to Do Than to Advocate the Pseudo Elegant Sari, will be mercilessly trashed.


Filth, nymphomaniacs, and the woman's body

I am writing this as a testimonial to Blank Noise.

Here are three sections from the Indian penal code:

Section 209
Whoever to the annoyance of others, does any obscene act in any public place or sings, recites or utters any obscene song or ballad or words in or near any public place shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to three months or with fine or both. (Cognizable, bailable and triable offense).

Section 509
Whoever intending to insult the modesty of any woman utters any word, makes any sound or gesture, or exhibits any objects, intending that such word or sound shall be heard, or that such gesture or object shall be seen by such woman or intrudes upon the privacy of such woman, shall be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year or with fine or both(Cognizable and bailable offence).

Section 354
Whoever assaults or uses criminal force to any woman intending to outrage, or knowing it to be likely that he will thereby outrage her modesty, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to two years or fine or both.

Ironic isnt it?

Isn't it sad that these lofty and utopian ideals exist in the Indian penal code, sections which people didnt even know existed, clearly stating that it is a criminal offense to heckle, tease, or abuse a woman sexually or otherwise? Isn't it depressing that our judicial system and the police force are oftentimes the ones who break the code themselves?
What can you do with rules, edicts and codes when our society has become "conditioned" to abuse and molestation, inflicted on the woman?

Women, as my grandmother once said should "take precautions". These included the following so-called unconscious rules every girl should inflict upon herself, to follow:

1. Dress appropritately; only salwars or saris, with the duppatta of the salwar covering the bosom completely.

2. Never travel alone after 6 pm. Ever.

3. Meekly accept that molestation and groping in public places, is a fact of life we have to live with, and go about our business.

As much as I love my grandmother, none of her points are feasible, or humanly possible without feeling like a caged animal.

This harassment happens in all Indian cities, with the metropolitan citites being the worst.

I see this pattern again and again, it is the women who are blamed repeatedly, it is the women who are subjected to layer upon layer of clothes, to cover her arms, legs, body, to "prevent" street sexual harassment or "eve-teasing".

We are constantly told to wear shapeless clothes, loose clothes to hide the curves in our body, we are constantly reminded to not be independent, to almost always have a male escort or travel in groups because what can "we" as women do? "Men will be men" right?

I detest that argument. Aren't men humans too? Are they incapable of having basic control to curb a hard on (for want of a better word), when a good looking girl walks by? Aren't they equipped with a brain: to think, to use logic, to use reason, before behaving obscenely?
Men dont you find it offensive when people think you are incapable of controlling your carnal desires akin to a dog's? Dont you find it offensive when people including our "culture police" make statements like this: "Of course men will get aroused and behave wantonly, if a woman wears tight figure hugging clothes, it is upto the woman to cover up."

Dont you think it is downright appalling to the psyche of a man, when you are considered a wanton and sex starved creature, and women are repeatedly advised to wear layers of clothes, because you, being the nymphomanical animal that you are presumed to be, cannot resist even the sight of a woman in clothes which FIT her?

I am NOT, repeat, not putting down the male of the species here. I am simply trying to make a point that men should find it offensive and insulting to be referred to like this, a lot of men who do not actively partake in eve-teasing ignore the issue, since it does not concern them. So men, it concerns you as much as it concerns us women. Wake up. Please.

Women attempt suicides because of eve-teasing and some are brutally murdered. Other girls have to deal with the life long scars of acid thrown in their faces, because they dont succumb to their perpetuator.

Who is the eve-teaser?

It can be anyone, a father, a brother, a husband or a boyfriend.

Psychologically, eve-teasers harass women to sadistically prove their superiority over women.

Some of them also harass women to fill a void in their life, be it emotionally, sexually or otherwise.

There is no specific age when eve teasing or harassment begins.

A man showed me his organ when I was 10. I was cycling home on my way back from school. As soon as I skirted a turn, this man jumps in front of me with everything hanging out. I was terrified for an instant, but I swerved around him and I sped away.

I was groped in a train when I was 12. I was coming out of the train toilet, when an old man( in his 50's I guess) pushes himself onto me and squeezes my butt.
I scurried around him and I run to my mom. I never left her side for the rest of the journey.

I was felt up my skirt(my school skirt) within a matter of weeks after the train incident, by the bus conductor, in a pretense of helping me get down from the crowded bus.

My breasts have been pinched SEVERAL times in crowded areas and while sitting in an auto during a traffic signal.

Almost every woman goes through the same harassment every day in one form or the other.
Let us look at this scenario:

You are waiting at the bus stop early in the morning, minding your business as usual, when a group of guys sitting on a wall behind the stop, as if on cue, burst out into a loud rendition of "Chholi ke peeche kya hai, chholi ke peechey!" or something like "Anney, madipa pakuraaru, anney idupu a pakkuraaru!"( ohh Brother look at the folds of the hips! Or something like that) .
You valiantly try to ignore them and jump into the next bus which comes along.

To your dismay, the bus is extremely crowded, and to top it off, an old man cannot keep his hands to himself and makes it a point to grope your breast everytime the bus driver applies the brakes and to make matters worse you can feel him getting a hard on.

You have had enough and you decide to get down at the very next stop, but you have to fight through the huge group of guys hanging off the footboard of the bus and you get groped on your way out, by seven pairs of hands atleast.

You are left feeling violated, but you have to go to work/college/school, so you call an auto and get into it and heave a sigh of relief. But your relief is short lived as you notice the auto driver adjusting his rearview mirror to catch glimpses at you, and you try you level best to keep a somber expression and you stubbornly look at the road instead.

At the next signal you are caught off guard by some guy who puts his hand into the auto through the window and pinches your breast(in lightning speed) as he zips by. By the time you get over the shock and the pain, he has sped off and you are left feeling dirty and filthy and all you can think of, is how you need to take a bath. Badly.

Finally you reach your destination and as you walk towards it, you jump out of your skin as a car hurtles towards you, and swerves just before running you over. The driver stops, just in time to cackle loudly along with his cronies at your discomfiture and drives away.

You have had enough. You need that shower. You need to rub that feeling off your skin. Now.

Women, isnt this what you go through, in some form or the other, every, single, day?
Mentally you are traumatised. Paranoia takes over. You dont even want to wear the same clothes that you were wearing "that" day. The day you finally come to terms with it, is the day you get harassed again. All the pseudo bravado is shattered.

So what are you supposed to do?

First and most cardinal, be PSYCHOLOGICALLY prepared for it. Do not be insecure or nervous, that is your downfall. Be cautious and alert instead.

IGNORE all the "good advice" from people, who say that you have to dress in a certain way.
It is as baseless as saying that you got robbed because you were carrying a lot of money. Poor robber what was he supposed to do? He couldnt control himself, because you were carrying a lot of money so its your fault, not the robber's. It is as absurd as that. So wear what you want.

Grow long nails. Very useful.

Gauge the perpetuator. This is very important.

If it is a single guy or a couple of guys, hit back. Please dont remove chappals and try to hit him. It is a WASTE of time and time is the essence here. Carry a huge handbag and fill it up. Hit him with that in the groin area.

If you are comfortable with using your hands and legs use your knee in his groin area, shove your fingers under his adams apple or his eyes( these have worked for me very effectively).

Scream. As loud as you can. As loud as you can possibly be. As loud as your life depends on it. Dont stand there with a stupefied expression on your face.

Walk as if you know where you are going, even if you don't. A potential eveteaser can always pick out a girl who is nervous or insecure or lost.

Take that innocent, 'holier than thou' look off your face. You are only asking for trouble.

And last but definitely not the least, be brave enough to FILE A COMPLAINT. There is nothing wrong with a woman going to a police station. NOTHING. I know you will feel guilty by the disapproving eyes of the policemen at the station. They might even talk you out of filing a case with the laughable plea: "Please, think of this boy/man as your brother/father, do not ruin his life, he has a family". But do not succumb, and just go ahead with a stony face and FILE that complaint. KPS Gill was arrested for slapping Rupan Deol Bajaj on the butt. If she was brave enough to file a complaint against KPS Gill, then you can cough up the courage too.

We have always been told that as girls we should keep our voice, down, our eyes low, that we should never, ever protest and that we should always get used to "men being men".
But women you should learn to give as good as you can get. And what have you got?

So isnt it time you learnt to fight back? To give back?

Women, it's about time that we showed that girls aren't feeble, faint hearted creatures, incapable of fighting back.

Lash out at men who treat us as the so-called weaker sex.

This is not our birthright.

We dont have to live this this.

Post script: For those of you who might argue that the 'scenario' I described above is arbit or whatever.....listen.
That scenario, happened to my 15 year old sister, on her way to school. Every incident, as I had described, happened to her on the same day, one after the other.


Abhor, hate, animus, loath, detest

I have decided to walk down a path I scarcely tread: The RANDOM post.

Somehow even when Im not talking about serious issues....my posts are NEVER random. I always have a focus, some focus, however frivolous it may be.
Come to think of it, even this post has some form of direction!

Well well ramblings aside......isnt it time I took a break from feminism? From religion? From politics? From patriarchy?........
I know I get very edgy and restless. There are things which irk me, and blogging is like a barf bag. Some issues are like vomit, they make my stomach churn and my brain numb and I need a symbolic ‘brown bag’ to get the feeling of squirming unease out of my system, and therefore I blog.

Nauseating analogies aside, I have decided to succumb to yet another TAG by Manish (again).

This time I have to list the things I hate.

Oh boy, this is what I need.

So lets go off the deep end, shall we?

1. I hate frogs. I think they should be eradicated from the face of this earth. They are slimy, with horrifically bulbous eyes, disgusting hind limbs, and some of them have bright colors(yeech!). And yet the horror doesn’t end there. They JUMP. They leap at you when you least expect it, all lumpy and green(or other colors) and gooey and UGH! I think I should stop now. I don’t want to traumatize myself.

2. I hate sari’s. Yes yes, I am an Indian ‘naari’….how can I not like sari’s? Oh what blasphemy! The sari is so elegant and it is traditional, blah blah…… I know. So spare me the lecture and hear me out will ya?
It happened when I was in India about two years ago. I had come down to India for my cousin’s marriage and I was forced to wear a sari. Not that it looked bad on me or anything *AHEM*.........but I was mighty uncomfortable. A sari is SO revealing! Girls I repeat, a sari is the most revealing outfit you can wear. It reveals your waist, your navel, parts of your cleavage *ahem* *ahem*, and your back!
So getting back to the story, my family had left earlier, leaving me and my sister behind because being young frivolous girls that we are, we took almost three hours getting ready, so we(my sis and I) decided to go to the marriage just in time for the muhurat. My parents had taken the car, so we decided to take an auto( I know.....I know.....don’t ask).
As soon as we get into the auto, the auto driver strategically adjusts his rear view mirror, so as to try and sneak looks at us.
We tried our level best to ignore him, but as he started giving us more and more lascivious looks, I just couldn’t take it anymore, the situation became too appalling for me to ignore so I yelled “road a pathu otunga!”
Translation: "Will you PLEASE look at the road and drive!"
He thankfully stopped looking, but our relief was short-lived. He then proceeded to hum the most crass, loathsome song I’ve ever heard “adadaa halwa thundhu iduppu! won iddupu!” over and over again.
Tanslation: “ahahahaha your hips are like halwa! Your hips are like a piece of halwa!”
At that point I lost it. I yelled at the top of my lungs for him to stop, by which time a few passers by had stopped as well. So thankfully he stopped and the marriage hall was at the end of the road, so we decided to walk.
Unfortunately a few road romeos proceeded to follow us, whistling and gesturing obscenely, so by the time we reached the marriage hall, we were a wreck, we had had enough of sari’s and the male species ( I was craving a martini pretty badly at that point!).
I have never EVER been eve-teased this badly when I’m in a pair of jeans.
That’s when I decided, that a sari is the worst garment on earth. And my war with the sari began.

3. I hate sugar and chocolates.( don’t gasp in shock).

4. Serena William’s butt. I HATE IT. for some of you sorry beings who think I’m jealous, PUH-LEASE. Having a nice butt a la J-Lo is one thing, but having a butt with a life of its own is alarming. Look at it:

It looks as if she’s incongruously stuffed a pillow in her tennis outfit as a butt pad.
It’s like every time she tries to sit down, her poor butt screams for mercy.
I hate it.

5. I hate fake people, so called ‘holier than thou’ girls, and guys who treat girls like cattle or sex machines.

6. Patriarchy. (no surprises here).

7. Gender wars. You might be surprised there. you might think Oh My God.....she who talks of women’s rights, patriarchy and gender inequalities, how can she say that?
Let me elucidate:
Gender wars usually run along these lines:
Men are greater than women.
Women are superior to men.
I believe in neither. I think both points are crap. I am what you call a neo-feminist.
I believe in equality of the sexes. Equal rights for men and women; socially, economically and politically. Is that too much to ask? I dont think so.
And that is why I hate gender wars.

8. Emraan Hashmi. Of all the filthy, lecherous, wanton, raunchy creatures in Bollywood, he is the most obscene. The worst thing about him is his
" I-want-to-lick-you-all-over-and-your-mama-too" expression. I know hes an actor, and I know he's MADE to act that way. But still. *SHUDDERS*.

9. Bappi Lahiri. Oh where do I begin? Do I talk about his 700 chins and all the gold which adorns it? Do I talk about his third rate music the likes of which are "You are my chicken fry...you are my fish fry!"...? Do I talk about his atrocious attempts at pop music?
Do I? Do I? I rest my case.

10. I absolutely detest Indian politicians who turn on women, everytime there's a serious problem to focus on in the state. For example look at the Kushboo controversy, when Tamilnadu was blamed for the alarming rise in AIDS cases...PRESTO! Find a scapegoat, which is Kushboo in this case, stir a controversy and voila! Everybody forgets about AIDS. Another example: There was a huge problem in Maharashtra a little while ago, with constant power outtages and the state government was repeatedly being blamed for it. So what do they do? Focus on the girls in the dance bars instead! Create a controversy without focusing on the issue in hand, and yayy! Issue avoided!
Women are always used as scapegoats for covering up a government's inadequacies.....when will this ever end? .............*SIGH*.

Thats my hate list. Let me tell you...........it was freakin hard to reduce it to ten points and I am mighty proud of myself that I could do it.........*Pats herself on the back*.

I am not going to add to someone elses misery by tagging them :-), so if youre one of those strange creatures who wanna be tagged.....I am making this an open TAG. Go on TAG yourself if ya want to.

Post Script: On a totally unrelated topic:
People! Make some Blank noise!
So, here's something interesting:
The Blank noise project deals with eve-teasing and the abuse of women. They're hosting a BLOG-A-THON to mark their one year foray into the blogworld, by increasing awareness and by helping us stay angry about the ever persistent evil of street harassment/eve teasing.
So PUH-LEASE join the initiative peeps, and for more info as to what to do and how to join click on their name(above) and MAKE SOME NOISE!