I have decided to walk down a path I scarcely tread: The RANDOM post.
Somehow even when Im not talking about serious issues....my posts are NEVER random. I always have a focus, some focus, however frivolous it may be.
Come to think of it, even this post has some form of direction!
Well well ramblings aside......isnt it time I took a break from feminism? From religion? From politics? From patriarchy?........
I know I get very edgy and restless. There are things which irk me, and blogging is like a barf bag. Some issues are like vomit, they make my stomach churn and my brain numb and I need a symbolic ‘brown bag’ to get the feeling of squirming unease out of my system, and therefore I blog.
Nauseating analogies aside, I have decided to succumb to yet another TAG by Manish (again).
This time I have to list the things I hate.
Oh boy, this is what I need.
So lets go off the deep end, shall we?
1. I hate frogs. I think they should be eradicated from the face of this earth. They are slimy, with horrifically bulbous eyes, disgusting hind limbs, and some of them have bright colors(yeech!). And yet the horror doesn’t end there. They JUMP. They leap at you when you least expect it, all lumpy and green(or other colors) and gooey and UGH! I think I should stop now. I don’t want to traumatize myself.
2. I hate sari’s. Yes yes, I am an Indian ‘naari’….how can I not like sari’s? Oh what blasphemy! The sari is so elegant and it is traditional, blah blah…… I know. So spare me the lecture and hear me out will ya?
It happened when I was in India about two years ago. I had come down to India for my cousin’s marriage and I was forced to wear a sari. Not that it looked bad on me or anything *AHEM*.........but I was mighty uncomfortable. A sari is SO revealing! Girls I repeat, a sari is the most revealing outfit you can wear. It reveals your waist, your navel, parts of your cleavage *ahem* *ahem*, and your back!
So getting back to the story, my family had left earlier, leaving me and my sister behind because being young frivolous girls that we are, we took almost three hours getting ready, so we(my sis and I) decided to go to the marriage just in time for the muhurat. My parents had taken the car, so we decided to take an auto( I know.....I know.....don’t ask).
As soon as we get into the auto, the auto driver strategically adjusts his rear view mirror, so as to try and sneak looks at us.
We tried our level best to ignore him, but as he started giving us more and more lascivious looks, I just couldn’t take it anymore, the situation became too appalling for me to ignore so I yelled “road a pathu otunga!”
Translation: "Will you PLEASE look at the road and drive!"
He thankfully stopped looking, but our relief was short-lived. He then proceeded to hum the most crass, loathsome song I’ve ever heard “adadaa halwa thundhu iduppu! won iddupu!” over and over again.
Tanslation: “ahahahaha your hips are like halwa! Your hips are like a piece of halwa!”
At that point I lost it. I yelled at the top of my lungs for him to stop, by which time a few passers by had stopped as well. So thankfully he stopped and the marriage hall was at the end of the road, so we decided to walk.
Unfortunately a few road romeos proceeded to follow us, whistling and gesturing obscenely, so by the time we reached the marriage hall, we were a wreck, we had had enough of sari’s and the male species ( I was craving a martini pretty badly at that point!).
I have never EVER been eve-teased this badly when I’m in a pair of jeans.
That’s when I decided, that a sari is the worst garment on earth. And my war with the sari began.
3. I hate sugar and chocolates.( don’t gasp in shock).
4. Serena William’s butt. I HATE IT. for some of you sorry beings who think I’m jealous, PUH-LEASE. Having a nice butt a la J-Lo is one thing, but having a butt with a life of its own is alarming. Look at it:
It looks as if she’s incongruously stuffed a pillow in her tennis outfit as a butt pad.
It’s like every time she tries to sit down, her poor butt screams for mercy.
I hate it.
5. I hate fake people, so called ‘holier than thou’ girls, and guys who treat girls like cattle or sex machines.
6. Patriarchy. (no surprises here).
7. Gender wars. You might be surprised there. you might think Oh My God.....she who talks of women’s rights, patriarchy and gender inequalities, how can she say that?
Let me elucidate:
Gender wars usually run along these lines:
Men are greater than women.
Women are superior to men.
I believe in neither. I think both points are crap. I am what you call a neo-feminist.
I believe in equality of the sexes. Equal rights for men and women; socially, economically and politically. Is that too much to ask? I dont think so.
And that is why I hate gender wars.
8. Emraan Hashmi. Of all the filthy, lecherous, wanton, raunchy creatures in Bollywood, he is the most obscene. The worst thing about him is his
" I-want-to-lick-you-all-over-and-your-mama-too" expression. I know hes an actor, and I know he's MADE to act that way. But still. *SHUDDERS*.
9. Bappi Lahiri. Oh where do I begin? Do I talk about his 700 chins and all the gold which adorns it? Do I talk about his third rate music the likes of which are "You are my chicken fry...you are my fish fry!"...? Do I talk about his atrocious attempts at pop music?
Do I? Do I? I rest my case.
10. I absolutely detest Indian politicians who turn on women, everytime there's a serious problem to focus on in the state. For example look at the Kushboo controversy, when Tamilnadu was blamed for the alarming rise in AIDS cases...PRESTO! Find a scapegoat, which is Kushboo in this case, stir a controversy and voila! Everybody forgets about AIDS. Another example: There was a huge problem in Maharashtra a little while ago, with constant power outtages and the state government was repeatedly being blamed for it. So what do they do? Focus on the girls in the dance bars instead! Create a controversy without focusing on the issue in hand, and yayy! Issue avoided!
Women are always used as scapegoats for covering up a government's inadequacies.....when will this ever end? .............*SIGH*.
Thats my hate list. Let me tell you...........it was freakin hard to reduce it to ten points and I am mighty proud of myself that I could do it.........*Pats herself on the back*.
I am not going to add to someone elses misery by tagging them :-), so if youre one of those strange creatures who wanna be tagged.....I am making this an open TAG. Go on TAG yourself if ya want to.
Post Script: On a totally unrelated topic:
People! Make some Blank noise!
So, here's something interesting:
The Blank noise project deals with eve-teasing and the abuse of women. They're hosting a BLOG-A-THON to mark their one year foray into the blogworld, by increasing awareness and by helping us stay angry about the ever persistent evil of street harassment/eve teasing.
So PUH-LEASE join the initiative peeps, and for more info as to what to do and how to join click on their name(above) and MAKE SOME NOISE!