3/3/06

Filth, nymphomaniacs, and the woman's body

I am writing this as a testimonial to Blank Noise.

Here are three sections from the Indian penal code:

Section 209
Whoever to the annoyance of others, does any obscene act in any public place or sings, recites or utters any obscene song or ballad or words in or near any public place shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to three months or with fine or both. (Cognizable, bailable and triable offense).

Section 509
Whoever intending to insult the modesty of any woman utters any word, makes any sound or gesture, or exhibits any objects, intending that such word or sound shall be heard, or that such gesture or object shall be seen by such woman or intrudes upon the privacy of such woman, shall be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year or with fine or both(Cognizable and bailable offence).

Section 354
Whoever assaults or uses criminal force to any woman intending to outrage, or knowing it to be likely that he will thereby outrage her modesty, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to two years or fine or both.

Ironic isnt it?

Isn't it sad that these lofty and utopian ideals exist in the Indian penal code, sections which people didnt even know existed, clearly stating that it is a criminal offense to heckle, tease, or abuse a woman sexually or otherwise? Isn't it depressing that our judicial system and the police force are oftentimes the ones who break the code themselves?
What can you do with rules, edicts and codes when our society has become "conditioned" to abuse and molestation, inflicted on the woman?

Women, as my grandmother once said should "take precautions". These included the following so-called unconscious rules every girl should inflict upon herself, to follow:

1. Dress appropritately; only salwars or saris, with the duppatta of the salwar covering the bosom completely.

2. Never travel alone after 6 pm. Ever.

3. Meekly accept that molestation and groping in public places, is a fact of life we have to live with, and go about our business.

As much as I love my grandmother, none of her points are feasible, or humanly possible without feeling like a caged animal.

This harassment happens in all Indian cities, with the metropolitan citites being the worst.

I see this pattern again and again, it is the women who are blamed repeatedly, it is the women who are subjected to layer upon layer of clothes, to cover her arms, legs, body, to "prevent" street sexual harassment or "eve-teasing".

We are constantly told to wear shapeless clothes, loose clothes to hide the curves in our body, we are constantly reminded to not be independent, to almost always have a male escort or travel in groups because what can "we" as women do? "Men will be men" right?

I detest that argument. Aren't men humans too? Are they incapable of having basic control to curb a hard on (for want of a better word), when a good looking girl walks by? Aren't they equipped with a brain: to think, to use logic, to use reason, before behaving obscenely?
Men dont you find it offensive when people think you are incapable of controlling your carnal desires akin to a dog's? Dont you find it offensive when people including our "culture police" make statements like this: "Of course men will get aroused and behave wantonly, if a woman wears tight figure hugging clothes, it is upto the woman to cover up."

Dont you think it is downright appalling to the psyche of a man, when you are considered a wanton and sex starved creature, and women are repeatedly advised to wear layers of clothes, because you, being the nymphomanical animal that you are presumed to be, cannot resist even the sight of a woman in clothes which FIT her?

I am NOT, repeat, not putting down the male of the species here. I am simply trying to make a point that men should find it offensive and insulting to be referred to like this, a lot of men who do not actively partake in eve-teasing ignore the issue, since it does not concern them. So men, it concerns you as much as it concerns us women. Wake up. Please.

Women attempt suicides because of eve-teasing and some are brutally murdered. Other girls have to deal with the life long scars of acid thrown in their faces, because they dont succumb to their perpetuator.

Who is the eve-teaser?

It can be anyone, a father, a brother, a husband or a boyfriend.

Psychologically, eve-teasers harass women to sadistically prove their superiority over women.

Some of them also harass women to fill a void in their life, be it emotionally, sexually or otherwise.

There is no specific age when eve teasing or harassment begins.

A man showed me his organ when I was 10. I was cycling home on my way back from school. As soon as I skirted a turn, this man jumps in front of me with everything hanging out. I was terrified for an instant, but I swerved around him and I sped away.

I was groped in a train when I was 12. I was coming out of the train toilet, when an old man( in his 50's I guess) pushes himself onto me and squeezes my butt.
I scurried around him and I run to my mom. I never left her side for the rest of the journey.

I was felt up my skirt(my school skirt) within a matter of weeks after the train incident, by the bus conductor, in a pretense of helping me get down from the crowded bus.

My breasts have been pinched SEVERAL times in crowded areas and while sitting in an auto during a traffic signal.

Almost every woman goes through the same harassment every day in one form or the other.
Let us look at this scenario:

You are waiting at the bus stop early in the morning, minding your business as usual, when a group of guys sitting on a wall behind the stop, as if on cue, burst out into a loud rendition of "Chholi ke peeche kya hai, chholi ke peechey!" or something like "Anney, madipa pakuraaru, anney idupu a pakkuraaru!"( ohh Brother look at the folds of the hips! Or something like that) .
You valiantly try to ignore them and jump into the next bus which comes along.

To your dismay, the bus is extremely crowded, and to top it off, an old man cannot keep his hands to himself and makes it a point to grope your breast everytime the bus driver applies the brakes and to make matters worse you can feel him getting a hard on.

You have had enough and you decide to get down at the very next stop, but you have to fight through the huge group of guys hanging off the footboard of the bus and you get groped on your way out, by seven pairs of hands atleast.

You are left feeling violated, but you have to go to work/college/school, so you call an auto and get into it and heave a sigh of relief. But your relief is short lived as you notice the auto driver adjusting his rearview mirror to catch glimpses at you, and you try you level best to keep a somber expression and you stubbornly look at the road instead.

At the next signal you are caught off guard by some guy who puts his hand into the auto through the window and pinches your breast(in lightning speed) as he zips by. By the time you get over the shock and the pain, he has sped off and you are left feeling dirty and filthy and all you can think of, is how you need to take a bath. Badly.

Finally you reach your destination and as you walk towards it, you jump out of your skin as a car hurtles towards you, and swerves just before running you over. The driver stops, just in time to cackle loudly along with his cronies at your discomfiture and drives away.

You have had enough. You need that shower. You need to rub that feeling off your skin. Now.

Women, isnt this what you go through, in some form or the other, every, single, day?
Mentally you are traumatised. Paranoia takes over. You dont even want to wear the same clothes that you were wearing "that" day. The day you finally come to terms with it, is the day you get harassed again. All the pseudo bravado is shattered.

So what are you supposed to do?

First and most cardinal, be PSYCHOLOGICALLY prepared for it. Do not be insecure or nervous, that is your downfall. Be cautious and alert instead.

IGNORE all the "good advice" from people, who say that you have to dress in a certain way.
It is as baseless as saying that you got robbed because you were carrying a lot of money. Poor robber what was he supposed to do? He couldnt control himself, because you were carrying a lot of money so its your fault, not the robber's. It is as absurd as that. So wear what you want.

Grow long nails. Very useful.

Gauge the perpetuator. This is very important.

If it is a single guy or a couple of guys, hit back. Please dont remove chappals and try to hit him. It is a WASTE of time and time is the essence here. Carry a huge handbag and fill it up. Hit him with that in the groin area.

If you are comfortable with using your hands and legs use your knee in his groin area, shove your fingers under his adams apple or his eyes( these have worked for me very effectively).

Scream. As loud as you can. As loud as you can possibly be. As loud as your life depends on it. Dont stand there with a stupefied expression on your face.

Walk as if you know where you are going, even if you don't. A potential eveteaser can always pick out a girl who is nervous or insecure or lost.

Take that innocent, 'holier than thou' look off your face. You are only asking for trouble.

And last but definitely not the least, be brave enough to FILE A COMPLAINT. There is nothing wrong with a woman going to a police station. NOTHING. I know you will feel guilty by the disapproving eyes of the policemen at the station. They might even talk you out of filing a case with the laughable plea: "Please, think of this boy/man as your brother/father, do not ruin his life, he has a family". But do not succumb, and just go ahead with a stony face and FILE that complaint. KPS Gill was arrested for slapping Rupan Deol Bajaj on the butt. If she was brave enough to file a complaint against KPS Gill, then you can cough up the courage too.

We have always been told that as girls we should keep our voice, down, our eyes low, that we should never, ever protest and that we should always get used to "men being men".
But women you should learn to give as good as you can get. And what have you got?
Harassment.

So isnt it time you learnt to fight back? To give back?

Women, it's about time that we showed that girls aren't feeble, faint hearted creatures, incapable of fighting back.

Lash out at men who treat us as the so-called weaker sex.

This is not our birthright.

We dont have to live this this.

Post script: For those of you who might argue that the 'scenario' I described above is arbit or whatever.....listen.
That scenario, happened to my 15 year old sister, on her way to school. Every incident, as I had described, happened to her on the same day, one after the other.

156 comments:

Idull Boy said...

I like you idea of fighting back...how about when the old man tries to feel you up in the crowded place..turning around and a knee(or an elbow if you re sitting) to the groin and a poker face as to nothing happened...
how about some more pepper sprays...
how about filing those complaints and taking it the media and publically embarassing these pervs...letting their mothers,sisters,wifes know the filthy pigs they are....
I know that exposing 10-15 yrs old unexpecting girls to the hard facts of life is not especially pleasant..but i guess its a jungle out there and you gotta survive....
Again, as infuriated as I am, you can only solve this by taking charge...
All this theory about girls are too blame is a load of bull..all i can say is that is that sore fist is worth the black eye you dish out....
they should make self defense compulsory for all girls at school...well not self defense but some kick ass martial arts....

Anna said...

self defence... pepper sprays... safety pins... long nails... high heels... a good hard palm to slap with...
maybe. maybe not.
still leaves you feeling defiled-that even a bath can't take care of.
enraged. disgusted. emotional. in tears.
*sigh
its all apart of life. get used to it.

thats what i was told the first time. i realised my body was not just my own. that man took a part of me away that i can never get back.

antickpix said...

unfortunately or not, i do occupy the indifferent bracket, not towards eve-teasing, but towards being offended as a member of the male species.

though my reason is choice (lack of it), i do believe that most eve-teasers also shrug abuse towards them as a part of their character, or nature's way or some bull like that (ie, them getting aroused/inclinations to grope), or they're (we're) all insensitive brutes with thick skin. both.

i was taking an auto back from someplace, and the driver was a chatty sort. he was going on about how he'd seen someone grope a woman, and so had beaten the crap out of the guy, and went on to interrogate me about 'how would i feel had that been my sister'. fair enough, but then he too went on to say that most women are asking for it, and further questioned me 'would i let my sister leave the house dressed like that?'

maybe their hearts are in the right place when they say it. he seemed sincere enough. just not necessarily right.

kuttichuvaru said...

well, I hav heard a lot abt girls being harassed but never realized the magnitude of it b4 hearin frm ppl contributin towards the 'Blank Noise Project'.... true, these are very disgusting and disturbing.... n these happening to school girls, cant even think abt it.. in my opinion, such ppl shld be stripped naked and hanged in public.....

suryakannan said...

Reminds me of the "sarika shah" incident which took place few years ago in chennai.Her dupatta was pulled n she was choked to death by an auto driver,ironic!

Main victim of this bane is the middle rung of the society.Travelling in MTC bus is an achievement in itself.

No rules on paper can prevent this coz our ppl lack emotional literacy.A mass awareness program can be organised with each person having his mom n sister in compulsory attendence and let the person who might hav teased, hear the agony suffered by his own blood n he ll realize his mistake, tht's the best way 2 stop.

We hav free medical camps, food camps, so this be a awareness camp or campaign.But the initiative should be taken by men in spreading the message n practise wat they preach,setting an example.Issue pamphlets in all the regional languages underscoring the magnitude of the problem with a WHAT-IF happens to ur family WILL U Keep quiet question.

If nothing works,do the visualization n stay calm.Imagination is the best faculty endowed by god.(for ppl who can't control their senses)

confused said...

General Disclaimer: This comment (and all future comments on this blog) is solely addressed to Megha post and to no one else...

Anyone else who feels offended/hurt....sue me!!!!!

Ok.theatrics over..hehe

Frankly, the biggest purpose of such posts/related posts is of raising the awareness level...I mean I know women get molested, but it is so pervasive...Christ

I had done a post on my blog about Valentine day protests and how i detest the notion that clothes are responsible for rapes/molestations and guess who did not agree with me...the girls...so I guess this notion is drilled in their head from beginning and it grows within them..

I like your idea of fighting back, it is neccessary to retaliate and not to be ASHAMED...of what is happening and more likely than not, people will come to help. Cops are human too, and to expect them to live in an island of gender equality is utopian. Unless the society changes, nothing ever will. I guess it has to do with general woman empowerment and raising their status in our socities. Also, this concept of ''izzat'' (respect) has to go. This is what is responsible for what the so called ''honor rapes''.

All said and done, but what is a 15 year old girl supposed to do?

Great post...and thanks for raising the flag

later

p.s I realized how much molestation affects women when I was watching a movie with my ex and someone threw a small home made bomb.(outside the theatre). Even when everyone was rushing out, she was so petrified of being touched even there that she did not go out without holding my hand and hiding behind me...even though w are no longer together, this is a lesson I am going to carry through life. Though I dont use much public transport in India, I do make it a point to consciously maintain a distance compared to my earlier more cavalier attitude.

And before I forget, I appreciate your comment on my blog.Thanks.

Deepti said...

hey!! You know what?? I think the Indian penal code should be modified to have CASTRATION as the punishment for harassment!! That is the only right justice in the world!! The way things are ..and will always be.. you never are too young to be molested!! Hmm.. yeah... i learnt it the hard way too.. i think every girl did.. Makes you hit back and hit hard!!! I never walk on the roads in the night without watching my shadows.. paranoia?? I don't think so... survival..a necessity

Vivek Kondur said...

Megha, I am very sorry for what happened to your sister. I can understand how a 15 yr old would have to cope with such things & come past that when she grows up. As u have clearly mentioned there are many such incidents which occur everyday @ various parts of the world. Many of these incidents aren't even shared with anyone just because they may not feel comfortable speaking & @ times may be because of fear.

I feel ashamed @ times for such dirty & disgraceful acts commited by men. I am not sure how exactly anyone could address such a problem, B'coz you cannot say anything about a person just by looking @ them. The problem is more related to Psychology of a person, so how can anyone dwell into what a man is thinking & what he would do?

I feel one of best alternatives for a Women would be to carry 'pepper sprays' & be good @ self-defence.

Our system too is in pathetic state for all these offenders. Even though we have judicial system & rules, the failure occurs @ implementation level. Take the recent(3 months ago) case of rape & murder of an HP employee by the cab driver in Bangalore, there is enough evidence for the cops to nail the culprit. Agreed that they have arrested him, I guess there has been no judgement in that case.

BTW did u watch 'Zinda', the story actually revolves around the subject of eve-teasing.

Anna said...

@deepti
that is exactly the same thing i posted on my blog...
CASTRATION...
but it is impossible and impractical..

Anonymous said...

cant belive shit like this happens...saddening..
peace
g
--
http://g-thisisme.blogspirit.com

SamY said...

following up with the police is worse a pain unless u have someone to delegate the proceedings to, as rupan deol proly did, added to how much ppl get dragged b4 justice is served, my sis refrained from filing coz she'd be restrained by law from leaving the country if she did

givin a beating to the guy again ;), I totally agree. when u don't punish a kid for wrongdoin he/she will do it again without remorse, some ppl only learn it the hard way (I ain't supporting anyone here)

most ppl don't after a cost-benifit evaluation

just a detour ... I'v come to know of beings (guy) who r scared n believe gals wud rape em on their 1st night =)) ... ha ha

k said...

hey, my girlfriend was harassed sexually in a reputed college in india.. she did file a complaint with the discipline committee and all the action they took was to issue a warning to the mofo.. the college was more concerned with its name and reputation rather than preserving the rights of a woman.
i think the laws should be more strict and women should not feel embarassed or ashamed to bring such offences out in the public and punish the perpetrators.

G U R U said...

If men can use camera phones for taking obscene pictures of women, as a supplement to other defensive techniques that you have mentioned, I would strongly recommend women to make use of the same gadget, to click snaps of the rogues who indulge in eve-teasing. Don't JUST walk into the police station to file a complaint. Walk in with EVIDENCE. Even better, record a video!

You may not be in a position to do all this when you are a victim yourself - I understand. But atleast, when you see other women being ragged, you could shoot an evidence. This idea is not just limited to women. Even Gentlemen can help.

Henceforth, let us try and stop criticising the poor camera phone. It has taken more blame than it can handle :) For once, let us use it for a good cause !

Anonymous said...

Sucha long anti hate..thing!
Dude..you very true abt it all.. but da length..

Anonymous said...

its like..LONNNGG...can i sue u for being unreasonable to a fan?

Vasu the terrible said...

castration is a little too extreme. instead why dont you take a publically humiliating and socially devastating punishment. Like cleaning a public toilet or something like that.

I do agree with suryakannan's idea of having a compulsory awareness session.

See people commit crimes and they need to pay for it. But a criminal justice system should also lend itself to reformation. Ultimately thats the only way to societal change.

Kiran bedi's experiments with vipasana have turned hardened criminals in tihar jails who have murdered, raped and sold drugs into real humans.

One cant possibly lockup everyone in a jail. Can we ?

Though I support severe action against a molester, we should try to reform a person than just get back in vengence.

Just my 2 cents

vasu

p.s.: Megha, I did write a huge long piece on deepti's blog. Couldnt write it all over again and I dont believein ctrl c, ctrl v. So dont mistake this post as "defense of a molester". Its just that I am continuing from where I left off in that post. Do take a look at it when you have some free time.

Anjaan said...

Ah! The bitter taste of Irony!!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Idull boy: I know...we have to fight back...some how....some way...

@ anna: join the club Anna. our body is not ours....its a peice of meat to be owned by the man.

@ antickpix: That is the mentality I hate. The "girl was asking for it"
What the hell was she asking? To be raped? Ridiculous.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@kuttichuvaru: It is VERY pervasive in our society, unfortunately guys dont even have a clue, because girls dont talk about it, they somehow think they're dirty instead of feeling angry.

@Suryakannan: I like your idea, but somehow 'educating' them leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
A sexual abuser will NEVER change unless something drastic happens to him.
We should beat the crap out of them and do something else more drastic then just beating as a reminder.

@confused: thanks!
izzat rapes in society stem from one thought: WOMEN are possesions of MEN.
So the feelings of a mere WOMAN aren't taken into consideration during this fucked up practice. they are only treated as the possesion of the male: to rape, to plunder, to destroy.
Now the eve-teasers psyche is no different.
The eve-teaser thinks that all women walking on the road, or travelling by public transportation are his possesions in some way...to harass.
So unless something drastic is done to them physically, they will never change mentally.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ deepti: Castration is the best!
Not feasible though. Something needs to be done drastically at the grassroots level. But our judicial system is so fucked up....I wonder if anything will get done.

@vivek: Thanks vivek for the concern!
I know that something has to be done....but peace loving methods will not work....it really wont.

@ Girish: Shocking isnt it?

@ SAMY: wow youre actually agreeing with me? You read the POST with your eyes open this time! Many thanks.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ K: First of all kudos to your girlfriend.
If one lone girl files a complaint...this system will not change. Our system does not look upon eve-teasing as a crime.
But if EVERY GIRL who is being eve-teased, or at the very least a substantial number of girls react fast enough and persistently file complaints, the judicial system will be forced to take notice.

@ GURU: great idea! I didnt think of that but it is a fantastic idea.

@anon: Well well, I had to make a point...so I kinda let the length go.
So sue me:D

@Vasu: I know what your saying Vasu...But I still think "educating" them is not feasible. The molesters will never change until something drastic is done to them as part of their "education".

@anjaan: Ahhhh yes!

confused said...

Physically? Its not practically feasible. I understand your anger but advocating violence or castration is self-defeating. Unless you OFFER workable alternatives, it wont work. I mean then it will be just like Arundhati Roy shouting from the rooftop...nobody takes her seriously anymore(I agree that might be too broad a generalization) because she protests for the heck of it.

If you remember, death penalty was advocated for rapists but he proposal was shot down by woman activists themselves because it would mean rape cum muder in more cases.

Anger would get one only so far...

no offense

Sridhar said...

@deepti : Castration will be too brutal and Megha!! have some mercy... even enemies are treated with dignity even though they are not dignified.

I guess Idull boy's comment summarizes what i wanna say, & pepper sprays and stun guns are good ideas. Infact I know many women who were saved by a packet of Askok Masale(chilli powder) in their purse.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Confused: I know.....but Im not advocating death...something horribly violent to change their minds.......but not death of course!
Do you think sexual offenders and molestors will change with "education".
I cant think of something drastic enough to change their minds.....maybe you can come up with a suggestion.

@ Sridhar: Yes! Chilli powder is a great idea! Every girl should carry a small packet with her....:)

antickpix said...

the Clockwork Orange method. Ludvico was it?

Negative Creep said...

I dunno why, but these sort of topics are starting to get to me, which is surprising since a lot of what i write is in the same vein. Anyways, good post, although i've never actually seen this happen, the most is catcalls or whistles, but a couple of threatening stares and they usually go away..

And people are atually right. Women ARE partly to blame. You don't let them get away with it for so long and then expect a sudden pang of guilt to make them mend their ways... Why do women never make a stand?? Why are women always so afraid... FILE a complaint... that's the most important part... even if you don't wanna go through the trouble of actually going to court, just file a complaint, get the fucking assholes arrested, and they'll think twice before trying something lik that again... but it never happens... So quit blaming all men, and take some responsibility too... (This is not aimed at your post Megha)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ antickpix: I think so...Ill look into it and Ill reply to you.

@ Negative creep: Brava! I absolutely agree with what you said. There is no point in feeling ashamed and hoping it will go away cos it wont.

Tawy said...

That post moved me. I can totally empathize with you and your sister. These are things that affect you psychologically and are very hard to get over.
I felt so sheltered after reading it. Lucky for having been provided with a car and a driver to take me around and to watch out for me. But I cant say that I will never be faced with a situation where I will have do defend myself or face such an experience. And If I do, I will atleast be mentally prepared. So thanks for making me more aware.
And here's hoping women learn how to take a stand for themselved and do something to FIGHT against these sick people who think its an acceptable thing to do just because women keep quiet about it. Remember because women are shameful and prefer to not share it with others, and the authority, they take advantage of women even more.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ nagative creep: As for the quit blaming all men part....I think thats bull......men ARE to blame solely.......but women shouldnt be meek either.....they should take charge.
@ tara: Im happy that youre more aware now. And Im also glad that you have not seen the ugly side of travelling by public transportation.
You have been spared endless tears...nightmares and the constant feeling of being dirty.
But be careful always.
Megha

Eclectic Blogger said...

well.. obviously not men are like that.. and i was not even aware of such things until i read the blank noise project aff. pages

Freaky Chakra said...

1. The assumption of a vast majority of both men & "women", that clothes are responsibles for sexual aggression confronted by women... is the most absurd and irrational thing ever.

2. I know this isnt intentional, but found ur post kinda offensive esp for a guy who's always stood up for stuff like this - picked up unecessary fights & got beaten up at that too.

3. Rather than castration, chilli-powder, pepper-sprays, long nails & heavy bags... i think the onus should be on the guys - the ones, who are rational & sensitive about shit like this - to take a stand whenever something like this happens around them.

If there is sensible head in a crowd of ten, a lotta problems will be solved.

Negative Creep said...

//As for the quit blaming all men part....I think thats bull......men ARE to blame solely.......but women shouldnt be meek either.....they should take charge.//

Now, i think that's bull. look at it from a purely rational point, not an idealistic one. If you don't do anything about it, that means you accept it. And they're only gonna change if you make them as uncomfortable as they make you. All this blaming it just on men is escapist and stupid. I'm not just standing up for men here, i've gone on many a rant about how the macho, egomaniacal male is destroying the world, i once even commented that maybe homosexuals should rule the world instead, but it makes me sick to the stomach how some women tend to blame everything on men and then expect other men to stand up for them and protect them. What happened to equality?? I've been accused of not being chivalrous or gentlemanly on many an occasion. I say isn't that a bit hypocritical of women? They want he whole medieval charming Knight in shining armour routine, and then they claim to want equality... Those customs are all rooted in the idea that women are delicate playthings, to be humoured and protected..

In the same vein, blaming men, and not taking responsibility for the fact that it's as much women's responsibility to do something about it as ours, is just plain blind.

antickpix said...

it's funny. i put up a post on my spot where i basically recounted a day in which i'd groped two women, among other things.

was met with a disturbing amount of tolerance from those who believed (or say they did) it.

SamY said...

just coz u write something it doesn't have to be coherent or make sense, thats just your viewpoint and belief in ur self

n just bcoz someone accepts ur viewpoint doesn't mean they did read thru ur post with open eyes, for all u know they might hav not comprehended it at all

n just coz someone didn't concur, doesn't mean they didn't read, as much a possibility as them not having understood it completely

it can very well be attributed to poor expression as much as someone misconstruing it ;)

as bush consoles himself to the protests saying they r indication of a gud democracy, I'd only say dun be all too happy with ppl who always agree with u

btw this post had more of experiences and facts n such things more than just your opinion or interpretation of things ;)

cheers

FJ said...

"I am NOT, repeat, not putting down the male of the species here. I am simply trying to make a point that men should find it offensive and insulting to be referred to like this, a lot of men who do not actively partake in eve-teasing ignore the issue, since it does not concern them. So men, it concerns you as much as it concerns us women. "

I understand the pain you have experienced but I just cannot agree with above words.

Why should I feel insulted because some or most of people who share my gender did something.

I dont say that it doesnot concern me, it does. But I refuse to feel guilty because I have never indulged in such acts.

As you have mentioned, there are laws in India penal code and as usual somebody is breaking law. So I think this problem should be looked at from that angle and clubbed with so many hienous illegal activities going on.

The Draconian Devil said...

I am totally with you. And now that I read the posyt by antickpix I am disgusted and appalled. How men can be proud to do such horrendous things.
read for yourself.... Friday

And antickpix, just be happy your victim wasn't me. You'd not know what had hit you if I was there.

REFLEX said...

very true. This eveteasing had costed few lives, many acid throws, many suicides and agony.

I remember an incident, when one of my friend, came to college and my friend was also there in the same bus. Even though there were some setas next to her, my friend was sitting in a distance and few other guys from another college started harassing her and sat next to her, it was unbareable and my friend came to her rescue and he pulled the other guy and pushed him on the path way and he sat next to her.
Girls has to be more courageous and make a full stop on the first time when they were harassed. Few females just keep quite till it reaches its peak and I heard that a guy tied a knot ( thali ) to a female in a running bus.

But the fucking old ppl doing this is the peak of irritation. But females has to be more courageous ( as u said ) in lauhcing a complaint abt these males.

But these days ladies special buses and female cops in mufty is a welcome move.

"CASTRATION" -- advanced thinking. This will make a full stop to the future eve teasers too.

Negative Creep said...

@Shayeri, that post is fictional. At least i hope so. Although i do find offending the generalization that that is characteristic of men. I've known quite a lot of lying, manipuating, bitchy women, but that doesn't mean i say all of you are.

@someone who mentioned castration, grow up. I've known women do worse. How about all women who cheat on their partners be hung upside down by their toes, have their stomachs cut open and be strangled by their own guts?? (Yes, i watch gore). Not so pretty when the boot's on the other foot, is it??

Negative Creep said...

@Reflex, dude, sorry to be a prick, but TENSES man. TENSEs.

//But these days ladies special buses and female cops in mufty is a welcome move.//

No, it's a fucking stupid move. Hide at home, use special buses, be herded together like sheep.

yuvraj said...

all the dogs are not the same...dog like me will fight the demon against women.....all the above IPC SECTION have been misused in INDIA quite often...
IN some cases boys are the scape goat...

Negative Creep said...

//all the dogs are not the same...dog like me will fight the demon against women.....//

So you're saying you're a dog??

Freaky Chakra said...

@negative & kaushik:
I agree with u guys man.

"I've known quite a lot of lying, manipuating, bitchy women, but that doesn't mean i say all of you are" - exactly.

Altho this is a digression, i'd like to see some female come up & say no of leching men are like in no way comparable to these female.

Hah! So please, those who've had experiences of good souls (which iam sure alotta girls have had) - PLZ do acknowledge that.

The entire male species is NOT a horny lot waiting in public transport with their stares, slimy hands & gross hard-ons, waiting to feel up females.

Let's not spread stereotypes!

Again coming back, castration & the likes are rhetoric & not practical solutions.

yuvraj said...

@ - creEp....y u dont like dogs?

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ eclectic blogger: yes...welcome to India.

@freaky chakra: I am sorry if you find my post offensive. I am HAPPY that there are men like you in INdia. Im serious. I never said all men are eve-teasers. I only said some of them who dont take part in eve-teasing, ignore the issue because it dosent concern them.
Obviously you dont fall in either category, so please please dont be offended, and please stay the way you are:).

@ negative creep: Did I blame men for everything and leave it at that? I said women should take charge too, instead of meekly accepting what is being done to them.

@ antickpix: GOD! I HOPE THATS FICTION!

@ Samy: I get your point. Thank you.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ venkataprasad:
Ok. I did not ask you to take responsiblity for eve teasers. Nor did I say you were one. And I did not say every guy who does not take part in eve teasing ignore the issue. I said a lot of guys did.
All I meant was guys who dont take part in eve teasing should take a stand and support the women as well.
If there is a group of guys heckling a girl, what is the girl supposed to do. Instead of being a bystander, jump in and help.
Thats all I meant. You DONT have to take it personally, Venkat. Because I know youre not an eve-teaser and I know you dont act as if it does not exist either:).....so PLEASE dont take it personally, Im not asking men to take RESPONSIBLITY...IM asking MEN to take a stand as well. Thats all.
:-)
@ shayeri: YES! I hope its fiction too.

@ REflex: I know......I hope it changes....god! I said castration would be ideal "but it is not feasible".

@ Yuvraj: Makes your blood boil dosent it?

@ Freaky Chakra: Unfortunately no man came up to me or my sister to help. So I can frankly say that I didnt have any good soul help me.
AND I DIDNT SAY that the ENTIRE male of the species is horny, blah, blah. I said "Dont you find it offensive when people including our 'culture police' make statements like this: 'Of course men will get aroused and behave wantonly, if a woman wears tight figure hugging clothes, it is upto the woman to cover up.'". My problem was with the representation of men. I thought that it was unfair and horrible that men are represented that way.
So there you go. You dont have to take it personally or seriously. And if you have to be mad, please be mad at the media and "the culture police" for constantly talking about men that way.
And again, we NEED more men like you who take a stand:)
Cheers!
Megha

vbk said...

i like the way u directly address the issue.. without sparing the details cuz some1 mite think it offensive or sum shit... like ur direct confrontation... ur intrepidity!!!!

got ur blog referenced by antickpix

Sairaman said...

Hello there.

Don't reprimand me, I was here to check my mail. I'm studying too

and for your blog:
ever heard black eyed peas : my humps? abominable though the song is.

you can see but you can't touch,
if you touch i'm a
gonna start some drama
you don't want no drama
nononono drama
and blah blah
or something along the lines.

useful isn't it?

None said...

meg,

what do you do? feminism at grad school? ;)you remind me of me when i was your age. :)
good show this. blank noise is my next post.

Vincent said...

Its really brave of all the girls like you who come out and speak. If only you'd not hide behind your blogs and actually report any incident immediately and get the bastards arrested, the world would be a better place.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Hey Vincent, I know what youre saying and I appreciate it:).
do you know that I filed a complaint against an old man(who I presume, was in his 50s) who felt me up first and then proceeded to feel my sister up, while we were travelling by the god forsaken PTC?
At the police station, all the police men AND police WOMEN were looking at us as if it was OUR fault for dragging the poor "old" man to the police station...and one of the police women had the nerve to say "paavum......avara vidu maa".
It enraged me to such an extent that, I was determined to file that complaint. And I did.
So I do get what youre saying. I only hope that more women, whatever the odds are, file a complaint.

Vincent said...

Nice work Megs. I wonder if it would be this big a problem today if every eve-teasing incident in the last decade was reported and the offender was befittingly punished.

Freaky Chakra said...

1. U've gotta translate "paavum avara vidu maa". Or wait, 2nd thots, dont think i wanna know!

2. Thanks for the lavish praise (need more men like you, etc etc). Will post an "interesting" experience y there are not enuf men like me for the blogathon - do check it!

3. Of course i find it offensive when ppl make such irresponsible statements. Am not mad at u, this projection of "men will be men"-kinds is very frustrating to say the least.

But that's something that's been cultured into our social conscience as a part of our glorious patriarchal, brahminical heritage. I think it is equally irresponsible to fault ppl today for what has been a far more profound development over time.

My point is simple - eveteasing & this "way of thinking" are two inter-realted bt very different concepts. The latter is far wide in its scope & hence way more complicated to deal with.

One cannot aspire to change the latter by just takin the previous one head on. It's not that simple.

As long as we are clear on that.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Its not lavish praise. Its what we need. Its a fact:).
And yes, were clear and
translation: "poor old man, please leave him alone, maa".
Cheers!
Megha

Anonymous said...

hey i do appreciate ur kinda boldness...u shock me....but hey u cannot generalize men as sex starved creatures.....it is the indian society that has evolved into one.... and i do belong to that society....and there are people on the other side of the fence too....the basic question to ask is why has the indian society evolved so.....influence of cinemas....men dominance...thelist goes on.....even today just look at the kind of movies geing generated in bollywood.....they represent slutty women....why?...to drive the fantasies of men......it is a loop....let's see what can be done....i serioulsy dunno what to say....i cannot exepct a billiion people's attitude to change.....it will evolve and only solution is time

Anonymous said...

women are gaining respect in society and believe time will make things change.....and u did prick me ego...as a male....u whole blog tells u are a female chauvinist...

the wannabe indian punkster said...

I am not...a female chavunist.
If demanding equality between the sexes(woman and man are EQUAL) brands me as a "female chavunist" then so be it.

REFLEX said...

nagative creep,
I said its a welcome move coz, forget abt the educated female who has the guts to shout at it but think of the females who has no guts to talk atleast and who has no one to share ( not even their parents ), for them its a welcome move dude. If u r from chennai, please go to Paris, royapuram and get into a bus which goes via men's college and u'll know what I MEAN.

"CASTRATION" -- advanced thinking. This will make a full stop to the future eve teasers too --- is just for fun ;).

Jim said...

Megha, nice post. Didn't know women went through this kind of crap so often; nobody I know (and that's not saying much) has had to endure this. Maybe one step in the right direction may be to stop using the euphemism "eve teasing", maybe "sexual harrasment" is more appropriate.

How sad that our ever-reliable moral police lets this particular target slip beneath their radar...

You mentioned that guys should pitch in and help women in distress. I have a question: how many women would help if they knew what was going on? Also, did filing that complaint yield any results?

antickpix said...

bit too late..but,

shayeri and those concerned:

the groping portion in my post 'friday' was fictitious.

so please unwind that knee aimed at my groin (or not..)

Deepti said...

@megha,anna , sridhar,vasu - I know its extremely.. but wouldn't it be ideal?? Something like the 'Hamurabi code' . Do google it if you have the time!!!
And do agree with megha..educating a molester can't really change his spots unless caught early.. like when they still are in school ( educate kids on thier responsibilities)..

You know what? I think we need to start right at the grass root level.. and the point of where the thinking begins.. schools should start having a 'value and awareness ' course.. where boys are taught to respect the female gender and learn to protect and not violate them..and girls are taught right from the start.. about the signs of molestation, attitude they need to carry and a lil bit of self defense and retaliation methods to deal with it!!!!:)

Vasu the terrible said...

Just wondering what will be your ratings for severity of crimes that exists today.. giving you a list

1) Murders
2) Rape
3) molestation
4) Paedophilia
5) Blackmail
6) Kidnapping..

Listing it from the worst crimes to petty crimes would give us a sense of weather we can change and reform society or not.

This again is no way to reduce the glare on this issue. Just throwing a little perspective.

But I am with those who said castration because the intensity of this punishment conveys beautifully the sense of outrage. To that extent I empathise with those people.

Its been proven that fear hardly deters a criminal. Education and reformation turns him back to a human and makes him truly repent for his crimes. What better victory is there when someone undergoes a punishment and comes out reformed and feels genuinely sorry for what he did.

the victim's stands completely vindicated and devoid of the baggage.
She becomes much healthier psychologically and scars can be healed.

vasu

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ jim:
Our moral police are the biggest hypocrites.
Remember, our society is patriarchal.
the moral police will put down the woman and blame her for 'tempting' the eve teaser, but the eve teaser himself goes scot free.
That is why I stressed on the girl taking a stand herself and the guys who dont take part in eve-teasing to jump in and support her.
:)
@antickpix: I still think we should keep that knee aimed at your groin.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Deepti: Yes! We have to aim at grassroots. Sadly in a patriarchal society, respect for women should be taught in schools.
After all, everything boils down to respect dosent it?

@ Vasu: Education will change a criminal only to a certain extent.
Education should be encouraged in schools instead, and most importantly, boys and girls should be allowed to mingle naturally....I think that is where a lot of problems lie.
Any thoughts?

antickpix said...

i think i need to buy a cup.

oh, and as far as the castration goes, wouldn't it be more..tortuous to chop off their hands?

no more groping..well..at least no more pinching, no more masturbating...

Venkat Ramanan said...

Hi Megha!!
I read the post, and re-read a few more times! I have so far never imagined that such things of such intensity happen in our cities, but have just heard a few incidents!! I extremely sympathise with the women who have been harassed and I just can't say anything!
It is better for women to learn basic martial arts and use techniques like pepper/chilli powder etc. Castration may not be a viable option, since a man denied of his sexual organs may want to hurt others more since he has nothing else to be denied!
And, please considering removing (just a suggestion) the link to a blog where a man dreams of harassing a girl! Cheap taste! I would never wanna dream something as cheap as that!!
My personal opinion - Both the genders should have equal spaces to operate in, in the world! Anyone who tries to overpower other should be dealt with carrot and stick approach!! In our cases, men have gone far ahead in trying to control/harass women! The only way out is to punish severely a few morons so that many others may not even think of harassing women in future!! In future, I expect a repeat of something which happened in Bihar - How a few women killed a don who used to harass them previously!!

useless said...

Yes I have been in most situations that you describe.Only thing as I grew past my teens, I learnt to retaliate, made sure I hurt/scare those perpetrators in some way or the other.

But then 'File a complaint???' is certainly not the way to go atleast not now in India.May be in the movies but not in real life.

No, I would'nt advice a kid, teenager or any young woman to do that in India.Ever been to a police station, that too alone in the evening? I did that once to get back my vehicle which I had parked in a wrong zone and boy the streets seemed much safer by comparison..

I've also been to a police station to claim a lost and found article with my father in tow and there still were some leery looks around.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Venkat ramanan: I didnt put that link on my blog...he put it on his comment.I think I should delete it...thanks!
I think education at the grass roots level would be a great start. And please respect for women should be taught in school.
And the fact that our society thinks that segregating men and women is the only answer is ridiculous. For thats where the evil ies.

@ Gupta: welcome to the turf....and yes Ive been to a police station, thrice, in Chennai. Ive also been cajoled to withdrawing a complaint against a 50 year old perv who pawed my sister and me in a bus, but I did it anyway. I feel
that girls should do it every single time it happens to them. It is because we are afraid that the law runs over us.
Cheers!
Megha

Sid said...

these guys outta be kicked in the nuts man...especially ones like that old man...they f***in deserve it!!!!!!! i feel blank noise isn't enough to stop these kinda guys...ppl have gotta do more...hopin more ppl would come forward and come up with something...nice to see u havin ur own firm principles...stick to them...nobody has the right to take them away from u.

useless said...

Yeah I am beginning to see a pattern here - repression or plain perversion I don't know.The first perv that pawed me was 50+.Wonderful to know that you had the guts to go and make a complaint to the cops in India.I am still chicken to do it.I have no trust in the custodians of the law in India.May be if more and more girls walked in without shame or fear or guilt or whatever into a police station the situation things might change.

Anonymous said...

I am speechless. Being a man Idid not know these things happened. I did not think it was this bad.
Beautiful post.
Keep it up megha.

Vasu the terrible said...

megha - education is just being exposed to knowledge and processed by cognitive aspects. I am not talking about education. Education can help kids in school. I mean reformation after being punished for the action.

the thing is simple, you can arrest punish a person but not keep him in jail forever. Even murder victims get out of jail in 14 years....

So when he is in jail atleast expose him to spirituality and reform him. I have seen that truly spiritual people (not the pseudo relegious who have pattai in their forehead and do all sorts of goodhals)... are good citizens. But I agree with deepti, if you want to root out this evil you have to start early in school.

vasu

death said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
death said...

your words and thoughts are very powerful

Aravinthan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Aravinthan said...

I never thought these kind of things happen in our places. Very sorry to hear them in first place. But am not sure these incidents are very isolated.. as i could see more ppl saying they have experienced these kinda problems. I sympathise with you. We need to have more open society that tries to respect human values not just for others's sake, but follow values in its true moral and in spirit.
It not only applies to mis behaving with a female.Its basically about the whole selfish way people are about.
I feel very cheap sense on people who obey traffic regulations only when police is there! Or even cheaper is the behaviour of snatching / grabbing in a queue ahead of some one who is waiting for his/her turn!
All these reflect the more selfish attitude and less or no civic sense or no principles or no value associated with the person!
We should spread the value of following values and ideals.

Venky said...

Hi Megha,

I read your post and growing up and going to college in peak hour, crowded MTC buses in Chennai, I have seen enough filthy scum indulge in such behaviour... I do believe that only an RDB style of justice will work for some of these men, and peace loving methods will just end up being preachy and fall on deaf ears...whatever protection works, including pen knives are absolutely essential and worth..public humiliation is also probably a good deterrent...whether right there or by exposing their faces in the mass media...another thing would be if the government woke up and had more women in professions like bus driving, conductors, and policewomen...armed and licensed to punish. And you are right, us males should feel ashamed at being categorised as beasts who cannot control their base instincts and I for one will definitely try and deter anyone else trying to attempt this.
Kudos, and keep up the voice of sanity against these cowards.
Cheers!
Venky

yuvraj said...

waitin for the next post....better not be a controversial one ...expectin some funny shit....like M,A,R,Sians nite out and the sobered alchemist.....

kaushik said...

totally agree with you. i think the worst statement is that girls deserved it because they dress that way. what a defeatist attitude. and who says this: principals of colleges, urging the girls to dress "decently", top police officials, showing their bloody incapability to give their citizens "freedom".....
and in some ways the society also. people talk about a girl who 'Stands" up against a Eve teaser, girls are told by mothers/aunts etc to learn to live with this thing, young boys are told not to take panga with the Eve-teasers, because they may hit you, the crowd veers away from such scennes because the guy might be a local gunda or a person with some contacts with the police....

i just dont know what is the solution? whom to change, what to change, how to change? hopefuly this blogathon becomes a national phenomena, comes up on NDTV on prime-time, journos go with hidden camera and fuck the happiness of those sadists!!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Sid: welcome to the world of women in India.......shocking isnt it?

@ Gupta-vati: See! What is up with these old pervs anyway? God!

@ Anon: thank you! I can only try.

@ Vasu: I actually see where youre going here.........maybe it can work! And on a side note: I noticed that you mentioned pseudo- religious guys who have pattai on their forehead and do a lot of goodhals. Do you know that a lot of the guys wearing Sabharimalai malas(the ones Ive seen) are terrible porrikis as well?
Not all guys, but a lot of guys I see on the street, wearing that mala, whistle, blow kisses, sing obscene songs...and the list goes on and on.
Arent they supposed to be extra strict, before going to Sabaimalai?
Sheesh.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Death: thank you! *blushes*

@ Aravinthan: Forget values Aravinthan, atleast they can be tatught to control base desires? Why is it so hard to control basr carnal desires?

@ Venky: Thank you Venky! I am happy that you realise what a huge evil this is. Loving methods are just crap. Unfortunately our govt and the media support these bastards. All they can talk about is how the girl should have covered herself blah blah...I am sick of hearing that.

@ Yuvraj: Soon...:D

@ I feel you Kaushik. I feel the same way too, helpless angry and at a loss for words. We are constantly told to avoid, avoid, avoid. For how long will Indians run away from their problems?
When are they going to FACE the problem for once instead of acting as if it dosent exist?
Indians are champions in denial and avoidance. If this keeps on, we better be prepared for our society going to the dogs....if it hasnt already.

Anonymous said...

Your post really shook me !

Alekh Jindal said...

Your post really shook me !

Ramya said...

Read the post and thought that is pretty much what happened to me while I was growing up. Like you said it us upto us women to stand up and fight.

What can 1 person do - change a few people around them and hope that they in turn will influenze a few more around them.

When I was about 18 I got gropped in a bus - I made the driver stop the bus and take it to nearest police station and got the guy arrested. A few girls in the bus stood by me and I am hoping what i did would have given them the courage to stand up for themselves.
Also I have made sure that I make all the male friends aware of these problems and develop a back bone when they see such issues arise in front of them.

Da Rodent said...

Hmm., i've been reading posts on other blogs related to 'blanknoise'., and i'm still speechless..

Mukund said...

Hi megha, it makes one feel really angry when the victim is blamed n the culprit goes scotfree. though the sections u mention have continued to be in the Indian penal code for well over a century, they hardly get to be invoked since most such instances go unreported. i can understand people who lived a century ago not wanting to complain but the fact that they dont complain even in this day n age is what amazes me. worst still, they are actively encouraged not to complain!! the few brave ones who do complain see their resolve melt away slowly, thanks to the pathetic justice system we have here.

Rock 'n Roll Aint Noise Pollution said...

hello nice blog...

Rock 'n Roll Aint Noise Pollution said...

err actually i think i'd prefer a coffee and Some melted cadbury's indian chocolate for 40 bux of the medical store down the road and put the fan on and enjoy summer! but i still like your blog!!!

Anonymous said...

I am shocked ..i mean i knew that there was eve-teasing in the name of a few stares etc.. but not to this extent where ppl get groped etc..no wonder a few chennai buses have barriers and sitting next to a female is not encouraged in buses atleast in chennai...
gotta do something abt this...

mystic chick said...

1. Dress appropritately; only salwars or saris, with the duppatta of the salwar covering the bosom completely.
2. Never travel alone after 6 pm. Ever.
3. Meekly accept that molestation and groping in public places, is a fact of life we have to live with, and go about our business.


We all get told that. And, you know the sad part is that when the law fails to help, it is up to us to make ourselves feel safe. And, then one thinks this is the best resort.

Anonymous said...

First time to your blog.. Good post.
Keep up the good work.
vivek

Anonymous said...

Your pointers on how to handle the situation are good and am sure are effective.
Just hope they are adopted by more women.
About time too.
vivek

Vasu the terrible said...

See, I do know that a lot of so called "porikis" do go to sabharimala and many of them are lax about the strict code of fasting etc. But it has nothing to do with your social strata. Many of these uncouth porikis are actually decent guys though like in every basket there are rotten apples.

My own friend ramesh is an auto driver in chennai and a very very decent guy. He never cheats but is uncouth about his general behaviour. We have to make a distintion between general behaviour levels and really deviant behaviour. If some female is physically harassed that can happen anywhere and statistics show that the chances of this happening within the trust of family is more than by any lay person.

Lay behaviour can be easily controlled as it is openly visible for all to see. But what about the silent sufferers ? An old uncle who has known you since you were a kid...A friendly hand over your shoulders ? A pinch on your cheek and a pat on your behind ?

What about those ? Surely these are the guys who donot go about singing "iduppu and madippu"....

Reformation of the first kind is an easier task because the behaviour is open and vocal. The reformation of the later kind si the most difficult. No one will first accept that there is an issue like that. Family honour is a difficult armour to penetrate.

Ultimately some of the worst kind of sexual perversion like rape happen here.. Afterall, if my mind is busted out and it sees meat, it will make meat from the most easiest and nearby sources... These men are really really sick and need real help. Otherwise their world wins and they continue to do what they feel.

vasu

Nav said...

Hey Megha,

Another stirring write-up.This is a serious issue.
Remember the girl who was accidentally killed when a group of men followed her on bikes while she was returning from a nightclub(in chennai). Also the Sarika patel case.

I'm sure there are plenty of such incidents every day. But when people start getting hurt, physically or emotionally and begin to contemplate extreme actions like suicide...that's when it's time for both the Government and law enforcement to take stronger measures.

But that being said and while i'm all for such strong measures for the protection of women by the law enforcement authorities..there is another issue to be considered..and that is the civil liberties of people who are NOT engaged in such cheap, pathetic behavior. Just cos a few people can't keep their John's in their pants,and get an instant hard-on whenever a buxom woman in a saree passes by, why do the others have to bear the ridiculous, idiotic stance adopted by the self-appointed culture police and regular law enforcement officials. It seems unfair on both sides of the issue.

I'm all for the positive welfare of woman(of all ages).But what annoys me is when me and other like minded women and men have to stop partying at 11.00 Pm or couples getting harrased by cops just cos they're sitting on a park bench!

So as you can see, I'm torn by this issue. I was chatting with a friend from chennai and letting her know my thoughts on this topic..she told me to "Stop being so bloody selfish and consider what was the bigger crime here!" I agreed with her, reluctantly *ahem*
I told her to leave comments on your post..I checked..she hasn't yet.

Btw..I didnt quite get the usage of the word "nymphomaniacs" in your title...Nymphomaniac is usually used to describe a female condition.

I believe the word "Men" accurately describes the respective male condition:P *pats himself on the back*

Nav

Nav said...

Oh! I almost forgot to mention the influence of tamil movies on the masses and especially the youth. I know this sounds such a cliche'd thing to say, but it's bloody true.

When some ugly hero with a pot-belly, agressively flirts with a voluptuous, northern Indian, non-tamil speaking heroine and she falls for him within half-hour..over and over in every other movie..it has to in some way effect the way people think.

Right I'm done.

Is this the 94th or 95th comment?

nina said...

oh i am quite sure that every girl has gone through this disgusting experience at least once...and if any girl says no...well me thinks that she is just not aware what is happening!!!...nothin gives anyone the right to touch another person is a letcherous manner...not clothing, mannerism, attitude....NOTHING....n the whole men will b men argument is CRAP...a

nina said...

a WHOLE LOAD OF BULL SHIT!!!....my heart goes out to all the girls who have been bothered like this...my curses to the guys who do it....remember it might be ur sister who is getting harassed..but then some ppl just dont care...they see their fathers beat up their mothers n think thats the way the world should b...wake up n smell the coffee...the next time u try to fool around with some girl she just might give u a solid kick is ur balls...n good for her if she does!!!

Blinkdreamz said...

can anybody think of the broader picture...like how to treat the diseased roots,than just merely how to trim the filthy top?! how to socialise the next generation to respect women than wishful thinking like castration?!
do everything to improve the status of women and you'll see eve-teasing automatically go down. please don't get satisfied with superficial activity like fight against eve-teasing.it's a very commendable act but definitely not the solution,there's more to be done at the roots.solution to eve-teasing lies in overall upliftment of women's status in the society and i don't wish to mention them here as i've already done it on my blog. perhaps they should now seriously start fighting for reservation in the parliament. power helps,it'll improve their standing,give them opportunity to introduce chapters on how to respect women in primary and higher education,maybe even degree colleges,help them make censorship more stringent to see that they're not shown as mere sex toys in the movies and on television,help them prevent dowry deaths,punish the culprits,make more stringent laws...i can say more,i know you all know this. perhaps it's past high time to implement them,so start FIGHTING!

Karthik said...

You might be interested in knowing that when my fiancee received lewd SMSes from a colleague and the Company (COS-B) shunned responsibility, the Karnataka State Commission for Women's Welfare, headed by Mrs. Kaveri imposed heavy fines on the Company and sentenced the pervert (Mr. Ennex Kim Thapa) to 6 months imprisonment. It helped that my fiancee was a lawyer. Know the laws and you can fight back.

anush said...

Always knew such things existed , but didnt know the situation was this bad !
One thing is for sure ,even if there is a gal anywhere near me , however hard the bus driver might slam the brake , i will surely stay out of any ladies way !!!

maybe its the animal instinct , but the way 99% of guys look at women is not as their mother or sis , but actually very few ppl go to the level of groping , But the sad part is most ppl do the same thru their mind

I dont claim to be very innocent, and mite entertain such thoughts like majority ...

I dont think any kinda education will help reform this kinda attitude , men from all strata of society do such cheap things , years back in college had heard a lot of friends relate their 'wonderful experiences' of groping what they dubbed willing yet showing token protest females.
those boys were educated , were studying in a college interacting with girls in their class , still could do such things in public ...
only when some guys like these tried the same during a bus journey on couple of girls of my class 'under our care' did some guys like me realise , how horrible it was.

Dont know how far it will be true , i believe we are evolving and becoming liberal as a scoeity .Men still have trouble accepting the fact that women are stepping out of kitchen and are competing with them and are giving them a run for their money.Gradually they will get used to this and these kinda behaviour will be on decline ....

Negative Creep said...

//perhaps they should now seriously start fighting for reservation in the parliament.//
//help them make censorship more stringent to see that they're not shown as mere sex toys in the movies and on television//

WRONG. Reservation and censorship is never the answer. If you want to improve women's image in the media, go and make movies and shows which are pro-women. reservation won't solve problems unless educated, outspoken women enter politics. Reservation will only make it worse. How many times have you heard women bitching about other women's clothes or activities. Reservations and censorship are lazy, regressive steps.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Alekh: thanks.

@ Ramya: I liked the fact that you said that if we fight, maybe it will influence a few people around us and so on....
I hope so too Ramya.

@ Joe Steeve: welcome to India...the land which reveres its women.

@ Mukund: as always the culprit is always left scot free. The victim is only blamed because well, the victim happens to be a woman. Women have to be subverted, that is the aim of our patriarchal society..and it shows itself in different ways.

@ The big muckamuck: errrr......thanks?

@ Anon: again Im going to say: Welcome to India......the land which reveres its women.

@ Mystic chick: So true. But the truth lies in the fact that, no matter how you are dressed youre going to get harassed any way.

@ Vivek: I hope so too.

@ Vasu: I know that sexual perversion is not limited to only one strata of society alone. That is what I was trying to say in my post. I like your methods of reform.

@ Nav: I know what nymphomaniac means. But you dont seem to understand why I put it in my title.....so dont pat your back too hastily:)
We as women are always told to cover ourselves up by our parents, the society and the goverment says that women should dress modestly...blah blah.
If we decide to fall for a fad and wear clothes which fit us.....God forbid if a guy on the street or elsewhere decides to harasss us! We were asking for it!
Our parents blame us and give us the "I told you so" look, and tell us "we were asking for it", if we complain.
The policeman does not help us and gives us "free" advice as to how to dress "properly".
The harasser reasons that I was definitely "asking" for it by dressing like that, poor guy he couldnt control himself, what was he supposed to do?
And the govt is no better.
So thats why I put the word "nymphomaniac" in my title.
Everybody seems to think we are 'sex starved creatures' asking for it where ever we go, so I thought why not put it in my title?
Hope Ive cleared your doubts now....*pats herself on the back*...:D

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ nav: I agree with you not 100%, but 200% on the baseless retarted time limit on clubs and the like. what does that have to do with anything?
Im telling our stupid govt does these things so that they can "avoid" real issues. I am disgusted at the way they operate.
And movies...ahhhh where do I start about movies? It makes me tooo mad to even think about them...so Ill stop with just saying that I agree with you. *pats you on the back*.:D

@ nina: I know Nina, but for these pervs that "sister: mother" dialogue has no freakin effect.

@ blinkdreamz: I love you idea of looking at the big picture.
But I think what we need is good SEX education.
In a lot of our schools, a girl talking to a guy is considered wrong or taboo. Now there lies the absurdity.
And our movies show the hero and his cronies heckling and harassing the heroine, and magically and promtly she falls in love with him.
Again, these are some of the things which affect the eve-teasers psyche(keeping in mind that the eve-teaser comes from any strata of society).
Education should start in middle school at the grass roots level.
And respect for women should be instilled everywhere, at home, in schools, everywhere.
Because in this partriarchal society, its sad, but we have to resort to 'teaching' respect for women.

@karthik: Kudos to your fiancee!!!

@ Anush: About the guys in your college: That is what I hate. Why do these guys think that the girl is "asking" for it? what is their twisted reasoning? Ugh...it makes me want to barf.....

@ Negative creep: HEAR! HEAR!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

To everyone
I realized that I had made horrendous typos in my last comment.
So bear with me, if I type really fast will ya?
Cheers!
Megha

Venkat Ramanan said...

Megha, You may want to read this link
http://www.deeshaa.org/2006/03/08/on-violence-against-women/#more-511
Atanu is a renowned Economist and he has voiced his opinion against violence/sexual harassment of women. His suggestions are too good and if implemented could go a long way in curbing this menace!!
Cheers,
Venkat

Marc said...

@NAV

I think I'll try to refrain from using profanity here.

"..hero with a pot-belly, agressively flirts with a voluptuous, northern Indian, non-tamil speaking heroines over and over in every other movie it has to in some way effect the way people think" as opposed to how the epic Emraan Hashmi love stories and family-friendly item numbers in Bollywood create positive changes in men and contribute to the decrease in eve-teasing and rape incidents in the North?


"..over and over in every other movie?" You haven't seen many tamil movies in the past few years and you don't remember enough to quote the name of the victim as Sarika Shah either. And by the way, there was a tamil movie made on the Sarika Shah incident (without a pot belly hero) to create awareness about the issue. NAV, please try do some research before you try to pass off your half-cocked opinions here.

Clearly you have no idea what you're talking about. Let's look at your logic at its simplest level:
You're trying to imply that, in Chennai,
1. Non tamil speaking women get eve teased (Due to movies which glorify relationships between tamil pot-belly hero and non-tamil heroine).
2. North Indian women get eve teased. (Same reason?)
3. Tamil speaking women don't get eve teased?

Across all Indian cities, to be a victim of street sexual harassment, the subject has to be a woman. Thats it. Irrespective of where she's from, her age, the language she speaks or the outfit she wears. After all these years as a man, was that too tough for you understand?

All this really speaks volumes about your mental abilities.
Do you even read what you type or did you type your comment with an intention to tick someone off and pimp some traffic towards your blog? People like you really disgust me.

You've already exposed your stupidity for all to see with your classic "I wanna make friendship with you" line.
Seriously NAV, stop trolling, stop petting yourself and go get a life (and better pick up lines too).

Frickin Moron.


(Oops..)

Marc said...

@Megha,

I'm sorry :( , I really tried not to do this.
Marc

Negative Creep said...

@Marc. Dude, chill. It's clear you have NO idea what you're talking about.
// "..hero with a pot-belly, agressively flirts with a voluptuous, northern Indian, non-tamil speaking heroines over and over in every other movie it has to in some way effect the way people think" as opposed to how the epic Emraan Hashmi love stories and family-friendly item numbers in Bollywood create positive changes in men and contribute to the decrease in eve-teasing and rape incidents in the North?//

So basically you're a South Indian who takes offence that Nav talks about tamil films and not Bollywood ones?? I mean i don't know either of you, and if there's more than this post behind this, i may be wrong, but you come off as an opinionated, moronic, asshole. ( Yes, i'm not averse to using profanities )

As for what he's trying to imply, i think your prejudice towards either him, or north indian people is more evident than any of the conclusions you've somehow come up with. Maybe he's from Chennai, and the public watches more Tamil movies than Bollywood movies, and that's why he didn't mention Bollywood?? thought of that...

As for the "I wanna make friendship with you" line part, he was frigging joking. you have to be a COMPLETE RETARD not to understand that. So maybe he's not the stupid one around here.

//Seriously, stop trolling and go get a life.//

Sane advice. Heard of something called practice what you preach?

Marc said...

@negative_creep

//So basically you're a South Indian who takes offence that Nav talks about tamil films and not Bollywood ones??//

Wrong. But anyway, nice try.
So basically, you're offended that there's one more person who trolls this blog. I'm sorry, I didn't know this was your domain, asshole.


//you come off as an opinionated, moronic, asshole//

And this is coming from the guy who has an online persona of a slutty third grade english teacher and picks on bloggers who make typos and have poor writing skills?


//Seriously, stop trolling and go get a life.//

Ooooh touchy, aren't we? You took offence to that line even though it wasn't directed at you? You humour me, negative_creep.

Again,
No. of posts made by negative_creep picking on users spellings : Quite a lot on many blogs.
No. of posts made by Marc: 2

Who's the real troll here?

Anyway, I wouldn't wanna waste any more keystrokes on worms like you or Nav on this post, I'll see you around here again.

Negative Creep said...

Hahaha.

//So basically, you're offended that there's one more person who trolls this blog. I'm sorry, I didn't know this was your domain, asshole.//

This is as retarded as it gets. or maybe it's a reflection of your own feelings perhaps??

And by the way, I'm not offended at all, your spastic attempts at ownage make for good humor.

//And this is coming from the guy who has an online persona of a slutty third grade english teacher and picks on bloggers who make typos and have poor writing skills?//

I don't generally pick on bloggers for poor grammatical skills, and never for typos, but after reading a dozen posts which basically go on the line of hlo lolzzz asl plz, me gr8 rtard frm Da Hood, i tend to lose my cool.

Funny how someone who corrects another person's english can be called slutty. Come now, invest in a good dictionary will you?? If you can afford an internet connection, you can surely afford that.

//Ooooh touchy, aren't we? You took offence to that line even though it wasn't directed at you? You humour me, negative_creep.//

On the contrary, i just pointed out the humor in someone like you saying something like that. And since i'm already typecast as an English teacher, it's not humor, it's amuse. As in the sheer stupidity of your posts amuses me.

//Again,
No. of posts made by negative_creep picking on users spellings : Quite a lot on many blogs.
No. of posts made by Marc: 2//

Ah, but you forgot to add,
No. of intelligent posts made by Marc: 0

//Anyway, I wouldn't wanna waste any more keystrokes on worms like you or Nav on this post, I'll see you around here again.//

And i'll be waiting. Nothing like the occasional self-righteous dumbass to break the monotony of Elementary Statics.

Cheers.

wellwisher said...

hey...fags...dont spoil the blog....get ur fuckin ass out of here..u guys need a shag...

Negative Creep said...

//hey...fags...dont spoil the blog....get ur fuckin ass out of here..u guys need a shag...//

No points for guessing who the real faggot here is.

wellwisher2 said...

dude..dont prove urself again.. u FAG..ask ur mom..shee will tell u who the real fag? she told me that u are born to be fag.....

the wannabe indian punkster said...

THATS IT! Stop these ridiculous arguments right now.
If you cannot focus on the post, PLEASE refrain from commenting.
HISSY FITS are NOT welcome.
Thank you.

wellwisher3 said...

ok...kewl with me...but it`s pointless to post a comment by googlin it...some of the comments are cut and paste..

wellwisher said...

i forgot ....kick ass blog gal...keep it on...

yuvrarj said...

bloggers peace....

Idull Boy said...

Hey punk rock princess...happy womens day to all the gals out there and happen to read this..take care..all you gals rock...

Nav said...

Whoa! I've never received such heated responses on any of my posts =(..Go figure.

Thank you, Negative creep for your support. I really appreciate it.

Guilty as charged for getting the last name of Sarika wrong. My apologies.

@ Marc

Now let me address a few points-

1) I realize, after having re-read the "pot belly hero" statement that it could've been misconstrued or misintepreted as if ugly, pot-bellied men have no chance of hooking up good looking women. However, let me clarify that was not the point I was trying to emphasize. Anything is possible in real life. However it's the manner in which such interactions between the said hero and woman are filmed, replete with lewdness and a certain brazeness that can mislead impressionable minds into conducting themselves in similar ways.

2) There exists a very powerful connection between tamil movies and the masses. I don't know why? But that's the way it's been for a long time. This is something unique to Tamil Nadu and perhaps can be extended to other southern states also. People look up to these actors like gods. Having spend a considerable portion of my formative years in chennai, I'm qualified to make this statement. So while Emraan Hamshi, may no doubt have his own avid fan following..nothing quite compares to the kind of impact southern actors deliver. Hence there has to be a certain responsibility placed on the directors and actors.

3) At the same time, this whole argument may hold water cos it's very difficult to put the blame on arts and movies. As they say, movies merely reflect the filth which is out there. And I could be persuaded to accept that argument. As I said in my comment, that statement was rather cliched.

4) My comment was also not meant to be derogatory of tamil movies. Infact I personally believe that Tamil movies represent some of the finest work in our country. Especially over the past few years they've been making tremendous strides forward, where other regional films seem to be going around in circles.

5)Guilty as charged of being too clever for my own good by taking a dig at the increasing number of non-tamil speaking heroines in tamil movies. Eventhough it doesnt bother me all that much. A case of a valid statement at the wrong place and wrong time.

6) Subsequently, your the logical analysis of my comments and summation of all combinations can be dismissed.

7) I'll be the bigger man here and ignore all the other personal attacks. And although extremely tempting..I shall pass on making personal attacks.

8) And I don't really need to use pick-up lines. From my experience women are far too clever and can spot any pick-line from miles away. Thank you for your concern. ^_^

nina said...

its ok megha...typos arent an issue...app there is some thing which either sush or anna posted on their blogs which says even if a few alphabets are interchanged or omitted it does not disturb the reading process ....so to speak....

Deepali said...

Just read through a couple of posts and first off- another feminist an outspoken one at that yes!

Had too many experiences with brown girls refusing it like it is AIDS.

Will be back for sure!

Marc said...

@nav

We got off on the wrong foot. Would it be okay if I blame it on vodka and fanboyism? I guess not. :)
The Tamil movie industry is one where Rajinikant movies co-exist with Mani Ratnam and other quality filmmakers/actors... just like every other movie industry in the world, which has its share of good and bad movies.
Thanks for clearing that up, nav. I jumped the gun on you too quick. My bad. I'll retract all personal attacks too.
Damn, I'm the worst troll ever!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ idull boy: thank you!

@ nina: thanks, Nina!

@ dee: hah ha ha , brown skinned feminists are as rare as they come by eh?
Welcome to the turf!

@ marc, nav: glad you sorted out your issues!

Marc said...

And as for you negative_creep aka Bhanuj Kappal,

You use words like "ownage"? What are you, 12?? No wait, you're almost 17!
I can see where all that teen angst is coming from. Please continue spellchecking bloggers and asking them to perfect their vocabulary.

I'll be watching you.

Cheers!

Negative Creep said...

//I'll be watching you.//

Oh crap, i'm shitting my pants in fear.

//Please continue spellchecking bloggers and asking them to perfect their vocabulary.//

I've done that two times dude. Why does that concern you so much?? Had people make fun of your english, had a teacher who kept scolding you, some traumatic childhood experience perhaps, what??

I don't understand what you get out of trolling the comments page on someone else's blog, but hey, whatever makes you happy. Keep trolling mate.

Cheers.

Anna said...

oh god.. megha..
your blog has turned into a battleground...

:-( isn't nice at all...

maybe its time for a new post...???
you have crossed 100 comments anyway...
lol.. ;-)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ anna: I know.......and its not even about the issue on hand....thats why I said "Hissy fits are not welcome".
Atleast their acerbic tone has mellowed down..........

Rajesh J Advani said...

An idea -

The next time a woman files a complaint against a guy, and gets told that "he has a family", etc, she should ask the guy if he has a sister, a mother a daughter or a wife (he'll probably have one of them, right?)

How about suggesting to the guy, then, that he call his sister/mother/daughter/wife to the police station so that she can get groped by [here you point to the most lecherous looking guy in the vicinity - one generally doesn't have to look far in India]. In exchange for that you'll let him go.

The shameless b****** won't agree, and the suggestion will make more of an impression than the usual "don't you have a wife/daughter?"

And if he does agree, then you'll feel a lot surer that he does belong in jail.

Freaky Chakra said...

Oh jeez update already :)

Φ said...

damn gross megha I personally had break a mfu**er jaw for my sister..i say carry hand cannons and blow their balls off..it won b a plesant sight to see the shit scattered all over..but its ok what say...

Read an similar article on a friends blog..she said a hard dick sees no rational things..

ugly mf**ers

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Rajesh Advani: That idea is brilliant.
Must employ it next time:)

@ Freaky Chakra: updated!

@ Φ: I feel your pain.

Ajinkya said...

the other day, i was with one of my lady frnds in the city. In the crowded area, i automatically switched my 'the bodyguard' senses on. and when i realised this, i felt so disgusted to even belong to such a place, where a women needs protection. I think, a parameter to gauge, a society's richness is the way it treats its ppl., more importantly women.
Going by it, india has surely one of the worst 'culture', what with the supposed culture police being the biggest deterrent to sensible existence.

KL said...

I have experienced all these harassements so much when I was growing up in India :(. And, when you are young and just a girl, and when you are literally brainwashed by the society that nothing bad happens to a good girl, you get too scared to complain about such things. And, I have been so scarred by all these incidents that I avoid public places, public transportation system, even now that I am a grown up woman, whenever I go to India (currently I live in the USA).

Anonymous said...

some guys think the girls are okay with eve teasing and even enjoy the attention. like if there are three girls walking and one of them gets a pass, the other two may not be very happy about it. one of the ways some guys' moronic brain works... i know of this place in chandigarh - the "gedi route" which is what the women of some of the colleges pass by. now there's a dav college there and it's lads determine by the dressing - the girls "inviting" attention. there are a huge number of such lunkheads out on india's streets so i guess that dressing with discretion may not be such a bad idea after all. Also, i think this just smacks of huge sexual immaturity on the part of the indian men. sex education that deals with this is required in india at all levels i guess - from elementary school to university, at workplaces and via public awareness campaigns.

Dave said...

Well, if we're assuming Indian society is sexually immature and this is one of the root causes of eve teasing, it's probably not a big stretch to expect trolling on this blog's comments.

To get back to the article, I actually found it interesting, though I disagree on some major points the author made. It's easy, sitting here in my Chicago apartment, to say that women should never be afraid to stand up for themselves, to file cases even when the police aren't interested, to fight back when they're attacked. But in India, this is simply *not* good advice.

To file a police case, you have to file an FIR (First Information Report). You can't do this if the police offer on duty refuses to take down your FIR. It's that simple. If he says he won't do it, you're pretty much stuck.

Similarly, advocating that women always fight back with purses, nails, or whatever else comes in handy is a mistake. While I think the author's anger is well-placed, her advice isn't. If you're a woman by yourself in a vulnerable situation and you attack the man who's making unwanted comments or advances, you're setting the stage for more violence. In the US, this is a good strategy, because if you can shock the man into letting you go and if you can make a run for it, you're statistically safer (I've taken many years of martial arts and self-defense classes, and even taught one for a college club for a while).

In India, it's not the same. Remember that we're talking about a society where some men *do* throw acid in the faces of women who haven't responded to their advances. If you attack a man who is groping you, unpleasant though that groping may be, it is most likely not going to escalate into more serious violence. If you attack a man who has no respect for women to begin with, you may be putting yourself in a situation where you've raised the stakes and are now in a serious fight, being attacked by the man who was previously feeling you up. This may not be a situation you want to be in, because the bad guys don't always run away when you hit them. If you've taken a class, know what you're doing, and feel confident you can stop the guy with your attack, or at least shock him, this might be the right move...but every situation is different, and it takes a great deal of judgement to decide how to handle a situation like that. In some cases, it's better to just scream at the guy...I've seen busloads of Bengali men swell their chests and come to the rescue of the girl who'd been touched, beating the man responsible. I've also seen crowds walk away, shaking their heads and trying not to get involved. Every situation is unique.

The real solution to ingrained societal problems is a societal paradigm shift. India has only recently begun to nominally recognize a woman's rights...if this debate is made public enough, it may be the first step towards a change in how society in India sees women. I think education and good parenting would play a major role as well. If youth in India grow up with a healthier, more respectful attitude towards the opposite sex, we'll be closer to a solution.

I've written more about this in my article on The Blank Noise Project.

Dave.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hippy Bogus said...

Could I post this piece, with a reference to your blog on this heated discussion thread we are having at pagalguy (http://www.pagalguy.com/forum/chit-chat/14240-blanknoise-project-fight-against-sexual-4.html#post422150)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vijay said...

The Blank Noise Project was a wonderful drive to bring out the opinions out into the public domain and shake awaken the public conscience

My Blog : http://India-IT-Pulse.blogspot.com

Vijay

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ hippy bogus: be my guest:)
Megha

Anonymous said...

hey megha, i had commented earlier about his post, seems like you forgot I had but seeing the number of comments I totally see that happening...!
hope u r doing well

have a nice day
reg
g
--
http://g-thisisme.blogspirit.com

politically_incorrect_guy said...

A serious Suggestion for those of you women who suffer from being harrased by the gropers and sexual bullies in public transportation - just give a nice punch in the "groin". Got it? The few inch hanging apparatus of every person of male gender is the one that gives a few men the feeling of being gods above law. A simple punch at the groin of the harrasing man should be a fitting humiliation and punishment for the bad guy.

And for other ideas, those who think of castration for sexual harrasers - please note that many men , rightist Hindutva politicians have demanded that rape should be treated as a crime punishable by death sentence. Guess what? Our Leftist feminist arundathi roy wannabies and their drinking buddies in PUCL/HR/Amnesty international have just shot it down as being against human rights? Now you tell, who is against women's rights?

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Uncivilised Sages said...

Hello Megha,

This is an appreciation post on ur blog..Like many others, I liked ur concept of Attacking in defense..

I will go to a further extent saying go beyond law...Just know where the bloody maniac is getting down or which place he resides in and with the help of some friends catch him alone sometime in the night...Someday he has to be walking alone....Some damn day...Why not get hold of him and give him enough servicing....

It might seem to be a very far fetched idea but a well planned execution which might involve anything from a tranquilizer to red chilly powder will,I repeat will work.......

This doesn't make the executer a coward..Unlike them,V certainly have a job to do justice to..A family to go back to....Such cheap actions as molestation should be dealt with equal cruelty....And a little more so that they know the dire consequnces of thier acts.....

Anmol said...

My god.. im truly disturbed!
all my sympathies to That poor girl(and all the other girls who've gone thro this).
as ive posted in anna's page plz write a petition or something to the court imposing a pubic awareness campaign like posters warning the pervs.
And of course pepper sprays(indian alt- chilli powder) or something i guess

Anonymous said...

even after reading all your exaggerated rant, i still hold - girls who 'provoke', ask for it and deserve it.

if u dont mind walking around with your b**bs sticking out... you shouldnt mind having them pinched either.

Anonymous said...

I know this is an old post, but got here after your blog makeover and it got easier to navigate..

Anyway, the articles you linked to made me cry, not because I did not know the reality, but just reading it again and again and again rips my heart out. When I clicked to leave you a comment, I caught a glimpse of the last comment before mine, and I cried some more, lamenting for the girl child who was choked to death in her first few breaths, while this kind of crap was given a chance to live, so he may grow up and torture every woman he sees. This is the injustice we are all dealing with every day, and it breaks my heart. Every. Day.

Well-written. And, please keep writing.

-mockingbird

Aman said...

Hey Tamil Punkster , I have reading ur blogs for sometime now, frankly they r fabulous.

Sometime age ,probably around 2k (i really wasnt anything close to being a feminist then) the ACP,Delhi asked (requested) girls in Delhi to dress less provocatively to reduce the number of rapes and such incidents.
I kind of agreed with him ,Then.


2 techniques that helped me get over being an MCP:

1. Put ur sis/ Mom/ Daughter in place of the victim and evaluate, objectively, the wronged and the wrong-doer.

2.In place of the girl i put myself and in place of the rapist i put a homosexual man, physically much stronger than me .. :)


P.S :- I am NOT against homosexuality, I believe its just a personal choice.

Btw its kinda nicee to see someone from Chennai writing such stuff, coz my personal experience with girls here has been, Not-So-Good.

js said...

It is quite well explained how to get rid off harassment. But the point u missed out is why do women wear tights or some thing else akin to that. If it is men who is showing off thier muscles with tight fits,they do it for women. This is a well known truth. If the same thing applied to women they wear casuals for showing it off to opposite sex. When they wear any thing special they keep it in mind through out the day and their face itself will be shown some sort of guilty, filthy and insecure looks which make them prays to rouge teasers. My point is the confidence should be shown in their face whatever they wear. If every women start showing that confidence there is no point of becoming harassed by men. Most of the women who are married will not support other women who are in need. They do not find to look after their family and do not bother about co female. That culture also should be changed. God gave such grace looks and divine beauty to women which need to be preserved. If they start wearing some thing for others sake and crying after that is not a good idea. Instead of crying and participating in road shows when some thing happen, They should be more alert before it heppens. They should avoid watching TV serails(more are from tamilnadu sun network) and get some awareness and socal knowledge.

Wall of Shame said...

Hi, I read your post, and think it is very practical and useful. For these reasons, I would like to give a link to it in my blog, with the first few paragraphs as an introduction. I hope you will allow me to do that.

Taylor said...

I am a white American female working in Bangladesh. The public groping here is shameless and beyond disgusting. As much as I want to fight back, I find that every day I impose more and more restrictions on myself to maintain my safety and sanity.
Recently I was coming back to Dhaka from Mymansingh on a public bus. The young man sitting across the isle from me began to very openly masturbate while staring completely unashamed at me. When I shouted at him (in English since I do not speak Bangla) it was the women around me who shouted back, apparently in his defense. I was wearing a salwar, so I don't think I was being faulted for immodesty. Regardless, I was made to feel ashamed for his vulgar and degrading actions.
Women and men obviously have to fight back because a society can't function when half the population is constantly under threat of sexual violence. Sadly, I am seriously considering wearing a burka to and from work with the hope that when no one can tell my age or ethnicity it will become possible to commute without having my day ruined by these disgusting men.

Nobody's girl said...

Hey I have been reading your posts ..and i really like them..i mean its nauseating actually to get on believing these things..and why not ?.being a girl I havent experienced less severe times myself..I believe its simply makes me puke..And dont know what evil on earth we hv done to these men!!?..that they are so torturous to us!..should the opposite have been the reality , they would plead and cry..and say we are sorry..
Newez I'm new to the blogger community,,Do visit mah writez..and dont forget to post ..thnkz thats the link to mah blog......... wriisocio.blogspot.com

ishita said...

i read ur blog...and its really really nice.
There was one comment i read regarding women dressing provocatively and inviting all the trouble...oh yeah...wat do you have to say about women in saris and suits(that fully covers them) or better still, for burqa clad women who are eve-teased?
In a country where there are reports of cheapsters raping 7 to 70 year olds(and believe me, such news did make it to the headlines), when will the society STOP blaming women?
Also, i am completely dissatisfied with the constitutional provisions for punishing the guilty...how, just HOW can something as tormenting as sexual harassment (that women face EVERY SINGLE DAY) be a bailable offence?

ishita said...

...re-read your blog and some of the ideas are really good...
(@rajesh and one about putting the camera phone to good use)!
Really megha, hats off to you...sitting at home and reading the newspaper doesn't even make one realize that alot of baseless judgement and 'girl-at-fault' mentality STILL persists, even among educated households!! Your blog is really an 'awareness creating' thing and with the large no. of followers, you can really help form a group:a self-help kind of a group with all the readers and probably the ministry for women and child developement coming together under one initiative.
Wow:) keep it up!

Anonymous said...

Hi All the things u have mentioned are so true. I have even got used to guys singing whenever i walk past them that i forgot it was harassment! That's how r daily life is now a days. I am not sure what we can do to stop it from happening at all, but surely we can be alert and aware of things going on. Hoping that most of the guys groping and gesturing towards girls are gutless good for nothin pervs, I guess v can stand against them bravely. If they see that u r capable of talking back, they wld move on to the next "prey". But how that gal handles it cannot be helped by us. So i hope all the gals r taught of it. I was truly happy to read ur blog. It showed me all my frustrations and thinking. Thanks a million :) Keep writing. U r awesome!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi, just wanted to tell you about my experience.

A man showed me his organ when I was 14. Another one followed me around town insisting I show him my bare back. A school boy gropped my breasts for months until I pleaded him to stop. Twice I felt in danger in the bus because of drivers and had to talk myself out of the situation...

Where do I live ? In Europe !

And I think your grandmmother is soo right.

Manya Sharma said...

http://memanya.blogspot.in/2012/04/men-cannot-help-it-what-about-women.html

I have been teased thrice during my journey in life so far (I am 23). Now only I prevent all this is by going to and fro to work on a vehicle and remaining alert of my surroundings..
PS: I have knife hidden up my sleeve ...always....