6/13/06

If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?

I am tired of receiving emails that start with the age old MRA cliché "I admire you for supporting women’s rights, but do you know that men suffer too, blah blah blah.” Do I look like I care? Do you want me to bellow from the rooftop of my apartment building that I am a feminist? How clueless can you get? Let me spell it out for you: I care a rats ass about your whiny *what about men too waaa* wailing. Comprende?

I may seem cold hearted or bitchy or whatchamacallit, but I don’t want to faff my way through a post highlighting 'men’s suffering'. I do not want to dabble in an issue which I have absolutely no interest in. If you choose to give me flak for the above statement, well then, I await the flaming.

I would also like to thank the folks who actually took the time out of their lives and emailed me with legitimate questions about rape and abuse. This post is dedicated to them.

Rest assured, I will name no names. I will only reproduce the questions.

So without further ado, let’s delve right into it.

1. Why do some girls go to a party and get drunk out of their minds, when they know that they can be in a position of compromise? Aren’t these girls, in a way aiding the rapist? And why don’t the men at the party help them?

Note: I would have dismissed this question as another chauvinistic stunt, and in many ways it does reek of ignorance and sexism. But I do have good days occasionally, and so I allowed myself to indulge in a rare act of benevolence.

First of all, I would like you to realize that women attend parties and the like for the exact same reasons as the men, read; to actually have some fun. Now, fun does NOT equal rape. Is that so hard to comprehend? Grasp that idea and feed it to your conscious.

The 'drunk out of their minds' phrase in your question unsettles me. Was that really necessary? Why do you have to attach sexist insinuations to your query? But I digress.

When we think 'rape' a leering man with messy clothes and shifty eyes usually fits our mental image of a typical 'rapist'. But blame the movies for propagating that far-from-accurate image. Usually the rapists in this particular situation you have envisioned (a party) are friends of the rape victim. These men use the trust placed in them by the rape victim and twist it to feed their own highly sadistic fantasies. If you still don’t believe me then this should convince you.

As for your 'aiding the rapist' part, pray tell me how? I am trying to be civil here without blowing my handle but WHY do you address the rape victim? Why can’t you question those sadistic perverts who actually perpetrate the rape? The fact that somehow she was ‘aiding’ the rapist by just being there is one of the most pervasive, sexist, and senseless rape myths floating around. Try to fathom the painfully simple fact that no woman in her right mind will show up at a party expecting or wanting to be raped.

2. Doesn’t rape ultimately boil down to sex? Isn’t rape almost equal to sex?

Forgive me for being rude, but I would like to answer both your questions with one word: Wrong. And wrong.

‘Rape = sex’ is one of the vilest rape myths propagated in our society today. Rape is and always has been an act of power. It is an act of aggression, of possessing the victim sexually. Sex is used as a tool to literally ‘own’ the victim. This stems from severe feelings of inadequacy and a driving need to control, to assert his authority, and the rapist uses physical and sexual onslaught to feed his obsession with power.

Trivializing an assault spurned by pure unadulterated hate fused with an absolute need to assert dominance on a human being and equating it with the normal act of sex (Yes, you heard me. Having sex is normal, you culture police freaks) is foolish and horribly inaccurate, to say the least.

I hope I cleared your doubts about the vast differences between rape and sex.

3. What about men who rape for pleasure?

Your query unravels a complete sub-species of rapists. I present to you the sado-masochistic rapist. These are the kind of men who rape for pleasure.

They indulge in tormenting the victim i.e. they revel in the pain, suffering, anguish and absolute powerlessness of the victim. And they derive a twisted gratification from the fusion of sexual aggression and physical violence. Quite simply put they get off on it.

To them the act of extreme violence (including sexual assault) is erotic.

4. Why does the abuser (in a relationship) always look calm and collected while the abusee always seems flustered? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Let me assume that you are talking about violence in a marriage or a relationship. Do you know why the abuser always looks calm and collected and several people around him will swear upon all the Gods that he is the friendliest/calmest/nicest/quietest person they know?

Mr. oh-so-calm abuser has taken out all his aggression and anger on his wife/girlfriend by verbally abusing her with the choicest expletives or by beating her senseless or both. At the end of each episode, he will be the poster boy of calm while his wife/girlfriend will be a frightened, whimper-y mess.

When you have your very own personalized punching bag at home to kick around and abuse, why wouldn’t you be calm and composed when you step outside the house?

The persona of an abuser has given rise to many a question as to ‘how can a person who seems to be so genial, resort to such acts of violence?’ This behavior, I believe is the split personality or the dichotomy of the abuser psyche.

So after all this, my answer to your question is NO. It need not be the other way around.

I hope these explanations cleared all your doubts.

Believe it or not, if you do have more queries I will be glad to answer them as long as you use an impassioned approach in framing your question. Questions reeking of sexism and 'oh so funny' digs at feminism will be ignored.

Post Script: Jupe left a link in the comments section that begs to be read.

Here it is.

Gut-wrenching, to say the least.


P.P.S: Title inspiration: T.S. Eliot.

126 comments:

Angelo Embuldeniya (Strav) said...

what do u call those folks who rape for an emotional release?

G said...

Megha, I

chandni said...

Another in(famous) question always asked is, if women wear shot skirts and "expose", arent they asking for it?

Once in a training session, a woman, married, told me - We cant blame the men alone. These days women wear kurtas without the dupatta...there has to be fire for smoke...

Sigh...please get this right, NO ONE has a right to somuch as ever touch a woman irrespective of how she is dressed. Short skirts are no license for rape, not that wmen in sarees or salwar kameezes are spared...

Sriram said...

*stunned* you a feminist? how could you?? Never mind.

What about those poor men who rape because of power?

Sex not= rape???? DAMN!!1 how could you megha? how could you shatter my world?

Back to seriousness.

Good day and all that is fine, but why the hell do you even acknowledge these morons? for one, anyone who mails another person he/she doesn't even know and says "ooooh i admire you but here's what i don't like" should be shot. What? that's not allowed? ok, fine.
"Why does the abuser (in a relationship) always look calm and collected while the abusee always seems flustered? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?" -- does that even make sense? why in the hell would the abuser look flustered?? these guys are nuts!

Swapna said...

I totally hate those people who say - is she goes around wearing short or revealing clothes, she's asking for somebody to rape her. It's too disgusting.

Good one, Megha!

Patrix said...

You are just getting a lot of SIF hate-mail...my advice would be to ignore them and not let them rile you up.

Madame Mahima said...

as patrix said..ignore the trolls..pity them for they do not know better (hehe)
hardcore post megha!

ill be around when the trolls come =D

ashok said...

love the titles u choose for ur posts :)

sirisha said...

I'm surprised you actually bothered responding to pathetic questions like those. But in a way I suppose it's good because so many people have similar misguided opinions.

Another awesome argument some people make (in defence of eveteasing etc.) is that girls dress up to get guys' attention anyway. So what's wrong in messing with them? Pretty much everthing.

No one dresses up nice to be taken advantage of, let alone violated. It's every individual's prerogative to look the way they wish as long as it isn't directly or intentionally offensive to anyone.

I'd have liked to omit that little disclaimer in my last sentence but some nuts are just waiting to pounce at the slightest thing and completely miss the main point altogether.

Rohini said...

I agree with what Chandni says. Haven't we all heard our moms telling us not to wear that transparent kurta or the other fitting top to avoid sending out the wrong message?? And that message might be that my fashion sense exists only so that I can invite mean to treat me as they please???

Vijayeta said...

I cant believe people actually ask such questions? I mean, the awareness is really lacking. And I get equally pissed too when men whine about "men's rights" etc. Without understanding that while their claims are valid, the "atrocities" they suffer are still a miniscule fraction of what women go through all over the world.
Dunno if you're aware of the Rakhi Sawant kissing controversy...and the insinuations made towards her that since she's an "Item Girl" who dresses provocatively, she must have brought it upon herself.
Totally disgusting!

On a side note, just noticed that you listen to NOFX too :) I love 'em!

my life.... said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
my life.... said...

i disagree with Rohini: wearing clothes without dupatta (maybe outside india) sends a wrong signal?? i am surprised...i mean wats wrong wearing without a dupatta assuming u are not wearing a fitting top? we are still wearing decent except the extreme cases ... and u will be surprised that an Indian man tried to be funny with me and i have lodged a police reoprt against him! he is still in a hideout and the police are still searching for him in singapore..i was at that time wearing decent clothes( top to bottom covered) ... so then how such things could still happen? clothes are not the only factor from my experience as a victim!

my life.... said...

angelo, i would call them as lunatic imbeciles!i think these blockheaded fellows need to seek psychiatric treatment...

sirisha said...

@ My Life -

Rohini was saying that there's nothing wrong with not wearing a duppatta! (Actually it was Chandni who mentioned the duppatta thing, but anyway). She was merely lamenting the fact that many mothers chide their daughters for wearing transparent/tight/duppatta-less things, saying that they're asking for trouble, sending out wrong signals to men blah blah blah.

Mothers mean well of course, and only want to protect their daughters because regardless of who the perpetrator of the injustice is, it's the victims (i.e women) who suffer unnecessarily for it. But still it is sad to see them say stuff like that.

Many older women have unfortunately subscribed to the false notion that what a girl wears is a sufficiently justifiable precursor to rape and similar crimes. It's a flaw in the mindset of our society at-large and is not likely to change so soon.

Anyway, at least we're all on the same page as far as this is concerned - Connecting rape to how a woman is attired is unfair, and reflects highly stunted development of thought and reason.

Anonymous said...

This is about girls going to parties & getting drunk. You first state that the rapists are not the 'typical rapists' with 'leering man with messy clothes and shifty eyes' but men who the victim knows & trusts. They use this trust to take advantage of her.

Apart from you, a number of girls must be aware of the above facts. There are hideous perverts hiding behind perfectly respectable looking faces. It then becomes the girl's responsibility to guard her own self when surrounded by wolves. I don't recommend staying covered from top to bottom, but I definitely don't support anyone drinking themselves silly, be it a girl or a boy. It's more about staying safe than about anything else. I strongly condemn the contention that a drunk girl can be a trigger for gang-rape but that doesn't mean that girls should throw all caution to the winds & drink themselves silly. Potential rapists don't advertise themselves. They wait till they get the chance. The key is not giving such perverts that chance.

To quote an analogy, I stay in New York & I don't venture out on deserted streets late in the night. This is just to prevent getting mugged & badly hurt. It would be wrong to say that a person walking on a deserted street late at night is responsible for being mugged. But that doesn't mean that inspite of being aware of the danger, one should still persists with frequenting dark unlit streets just to prove the opposite.

My final words- Though I dont subscribe to the theory that a drunk girl is responsible for her own rape, the truth is that potential rapists are lurking around looking for opportunities. It definitely won't hurt if the girl's more aware of what's going around her so that she can protect herself better.

Angelo Embuldeniya (Strav) said...

mylife: I don't think psych treatment would cure them... ;) BTW what is a dupatta? some sorta asian styled burka?

B o o said...

After the girl from the call center was raped and murdered in Bangalore a few months back, the newspaper headline said "COVER YOURSELVES" issued as a warning by the Police. And we are nt talking about Insurance here! And does it mean we ve to ignore this "warning by the police" too as an anonymoues email? And the newspapers made it a point to write that the girl was wearing "Spaghetti straps". A married woman going to office by a cab is nt safe from rape and all the world cares about is what she was wearing to judge her. Go figure. Great post Megha! Keep it coming.

my life.... said...

angelo: its a long shawl drawn over the neck...it comes with the women outfit ( salwar kameez)...check out the webpage to see an example:http://www.salwar.com/

spartacus said...

Question time again. Whenever there is a discussion on rape, I see two viewpoints. The meek, conservative, sexist mind that doesn't want to take on the issue head-on and says "The woman must have invited it. She should dress in a more appropriate manner".Then there is the feminist viewpoint that is outraged by the audacity of the perpetrators and the sexist folks who seem to condone the act by turning a blind eye to the seriousness of the crime. I'd side with the feminist anyday. But I see most of the feminist's energy being spent on reiterating a few points to the rest - "Rapist = Sick bastard." "Rape not equal to sex" "Drunk woman = Just having fun = Not open invite to a gorge all you can buffet" *I* get the point. Its a great start. But what next? Is there some mass therapy all men can be subjected to, to cure them of their deviant fantasies? What measures can I take to make my small world a safer place for the women that are dear to me? How can men in general help? How can a woman help herself? How can we utilise the Government, the society, educational institutions, the media and the law to curb the crime? Is there something we can learn from other cultures and geographies that have lower rape statistics? Is there something that we can learn from the past? Are there societies that have been successfully able to curb the sexual abuse rates?

We need to find answers to these questions and start using them. We ought to lead by example and not just stop at the assertion of a woman's right to wear anything she likes. Time is running.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ angelo: there is no sub category of rapists who rape for 'emotional' release. I would categorize them with the most common 'power' wanting rapist, as they do have an emotional release after they rape.

@ chandni: exactly. short skirts and tight clothes are supposed to attract attention. Then what about the women who get harassed or raped while wearing a salwar or a saree? Great point.

@ sriram: I answered these questions only because it helped shed some more light on the psychology of rape. I personally know people who are otherwise very sensible actually ask me the 4th question.

@ swapna: thankee! :D

@ patrix: LOL! Ha ha ha, sif hatemail aside, I only used the questions to eleborate on rape a little more, Im not riled up or anything.:-)

@ mahi: ok mahi, get ready......:P

@ ashok: ha ha ha, my titles do seem to get weirder and weirder innit'?:-)

@ sirisha: oh yes, we *plan* our outfits in order to entice the men. Thats what we do *barf*....
sigh I know what you mean...

@ rohini: *nods head vigorously* :)

@ vijayeta: oh yes! I did read about the rakhi sawant issue...and YOU LOVE NOFX TOO? Finally! I actually thought I was the only soul on earth who enjoyed their music!....:D

@ my life : sirisha answered your comment perfectly, so I'll leave it at that..:)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ anon: I clearly mentioned that in most cases in that particular scenario the rapists generally tend to be her friends. How is she supposed to know? So are you saying that she should constantly live in doubt and fear? You are indulging in a classic case of blaming the victim in the name of 'protection'. Now answer this....can you come up with a feasible point pertaining to the RAPIST without hiding under the tired old 'protection' cliche?

boo: OMG! was that really the headline??? *shakes head unhappily*

@ spartacus: so YOU get the point. hurrah. But many other people are clueless. And thats why I wrote this post. The ONLY way our society can move forward in terms of curbing rape or harrasment or abuse is by NOT blaming the victim. The focus is always on the victim: what she wears, where she was, her character, her hobbies, you name it...everything. The spotlight should completely fall on the rapist.
This is only a start.
But I dont like your tone. You start off being VERY condescending and go on to ask a barrage of questions almost as if you are 'testing' the credibility of a feminist. It unsettles me.

Mukund said...

vetti pasanga edho kelvi ketta, nee yen adukkellam badhil solrey'nnu teriyala...

Ganesh Ranganathan said...

you left out date-rape drugs...odorless, colorless and erares previous few hours memory...how can this form of rape be curbed??

mad jazz said...

An individual can only control his/her actions. We cannot control another individuals actions.

I'm with the previous anon who gave u the walking in the lonely street example. The probability of a girl becoming vulnerable to rape and abuse is more when she is drunk. It is important that she avoids such situations.

Why does everyone study? Because statistics show that the chances of one leading a better living is more with education.
Isn't this just the same where you limit yourself from getting drunk because statistics show that a drunk girl is easily taken advantage of. Now, don't get me wrong. Ideally this world shouldn't have perverts who take advantage of such a situation. We all know this world is far from ideal. Take your pick.

Siddhu said...

Well, my 'moral' flatmate reads my blog. :(

Maybe after I leave the UK and go to the fatherland, then...

And regarding the 'rape victim at fault' thingie, the other day, the police chief of Lothian county (where I stay) asked women to 'protect themselves by not exposign themselves to vulnerable situations (or something like that) by not drinking so much.'

And he hastened to say, 'oh i'm not being sexist' :P

Siddhu said...

I was quite shocked that this attitude exists in the 'enlightened' west too!

Anonymous said...

In the scenario that the rapists generally tend to be her friends, a girl definitely cannot be expected to know the rapist from the crowd. Which is precisely the reason for taking precautions to defend herself. To answer the next question, I have never said that she should live in perpetual fear & I don't say it even now. My point is just that she should be adequately aware of what's going on around her to be able to defend herself in case some one tries to get too close.

Date rapes usually happen when the girl is drunk or under the influence of drugs. I reiterate that a drunk girl is not an invitation for rape, but how do you explain that to a rapist who has the chance in front of him in the form of an unconscious girl? For the record, I have tried reasoning with eve-teasers in India, but all I managed to do was get myself ridiculed & beaten up, not once but several times. How do you talk sense into a perverted rapist then?

I repeat my analogy in my previous comment, when there are thieves lurking around, the onus is on you to defend yourself. I don't say that an open door is necessarily an invitation to thieves, but thieves don't tend to think that way.

About the accusation that I am blaming the victim in the name of protection, I state clearly that neither did I do that, nor do I do it now. I have only spoken about girls' needing to be more aware of lurking dangers, nothing else.

I reread the post once more & I came up with this- 'Why can’t you question those sadistic perverts who actually perpetrate the rape?' AND 'Try to fathom the painfully simple fact that no woman in her right mind will show up at a party expecting or wanting to be raped.' It's impossible to identify the 'sadistic pervert' from the crowd of well-meaning men, which is why it's impossible to question him. I agree entirely that 'no woman in her right mind will show up at a party expecting or wanting to be raped' but that's not true about the 'sadistic perverts' who frequent the same parties. The contention is fine in an ideal world, but we live in a world which is extremely twisted & anything but ideal.

Coming to the last question, 'can you come up with a feasible point pertaining to the RAPIST without hiding under the tired old 'protection' cliche?', What exactly do you mean by feasible point? Am I supposed to give a feasible reason for rape? I abhor rape & will never justify it. Or am I supposed to give solutions to cure a man's rape fantasies? I don't have those either.

Akanksha said...

*is scared coz she knows megha is goin to tear her into eensy weensy pieces, but still wants to put across her point*

U kno even i think nobody should get silly drunk..
again like anon said i am not sayin just coz a girl is drunk rape her ..

wearing short skirts or sexy in ur face stuff doesnot mar ur judgement to say 'NO' to sexual advances.. ..but the moment u drink or use drugs u r marring ur judgement..

u believ in being strong mentally and physically right.. i think getting tipsy makes us vulnerable ..

even i drink.. but never so much that i dont kno whats happening arnd me or till my judgement is impaired..

and when i do want to drink myself silly i do it with friends who i love me to death and wouldn t harm a fly..

so i am sayin dnt get tipsy unless u r with a few people who u can trust with ur lives ..

or when at parties where there is lot of unknown people and just tons of acquaintances drink in moderation

*tries to shield herself frm megha's wrath by hiding behind smashie and freaky*

_ð!®†ß¤¥ said...

Call me inhuman, but Can we talk percentages? For one, whats the percentage of rapists on this entire planet-ful of humans? Is it worth the entire propaganda? I do not condone the crime, i still say rapists oughtta be shot. But isn't the entire "viva la femme resistance" thing blown outta proportion for this one cause?

Akanksha said...

hey i thought u were goin to support me not attract even more wrath frm the punkster babe

Anonymous said...

@ th3 Fac3Smash3r
I am Indian, so I will stick to Indian statistics. According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), a woman is raped every half an hour in India.(Source: http://www.infochangeindia.org/WomenItop.jsp?section_idv=1) That is 48 rapes a day, 1440 rapes a month & 17520 rapes a year. These statistics reflect only the reported case. God only knows how many go unreported. Obviously rape is a big crime & is definitely worth the attention it is getting.

@akanksha
I support you. Almost all that you have written agrees with what I think.

Ragnell said...

Any person alone is vulnerable. A man who gets drunk is vulnerable.

But when a man gets drunk, goes home in a cab, and returns to the bar to get his car to find it stolen -- what do you say to him? "You shouldn't have gotten drunk and left your car, you were asking for trouble."?

Nobody I know says that. They say "Those bastards!" and "That sucks" and "People have no respect" about the thieves.

But when a woman gets drunk and raped at a party, what do people say to her? "You shouldn't ahve gone alone." "You shouldn't have gotten drunk." "Don't you realize how vulnerable you were?"

Anonymous said...

@akanksha - punkster is not going to react to comments she doesent like. She is just going to ignore it. I guess her tank is empty after all the reaction she has done on her blog post.

personally, I think punkster is just trying to attract attention. A deep rooted emotional turmoil of being neglected at home. poor girl, she needs help and she doesent know it.

Punkster, why is it that you dont care for men\'s issues ? Anything specific from your past ? dig deep and figure out the core reasons for such a hostile attitude you have towards menfolk.

Two questions confound my braindead existance.

1) In the Rakhi sawant case, why did she hug and kiss mikha ? Did she ask mikha\'s permission for kissing him ? Why is it that some women think that its ok for them to act as it pleases ?

2) when mikha reciprocated with a kiss, why is it that she hung around in the party for two more hours and endured more kisses from mikha ? Why dint she throw the fit, object and call the police right then (when mikha kissed her near the birthday cake).

Knowing rakhi\'s intentions of getting publicity. It think this whole issue is a carefully crafted publicity stunt so that both mikha and rakhi get their five minutes of fame.

prathap

Freaky Chakra said...

@akanksha:
relax i dont think megha will tear u into bits or any1 else for that matter. For one, no1 is an idiot out here... (tht is unless u leave out the trolls & the save-indian-family guys)

What i basically understood ur say to be...

1. Being drunk does not equal to giving physical consent, and...

2. Even so, it's not wise to get drunk in the first place cuz it leaves u vulnerable.

I think the 2nd point applies as much to guys as well (albeit w/o the sexual connotations), i mean u can always be robbed of stuff or worse still have an accident while driving home.

So, u r basically speakin sense. Chill :)

What say Megha?

Freaky Chakra said...

@anon-pratap guy:
Dude, please spare us the instant-coffee kinds psycho analysis. Why does Megha not speak about men's issues? Cuz she's a feminist. period.

U have a problem? Think us men dont get enuf attention? Why dont u start writing about them?

It's actually a stupid question in the 1st place. It's like goin up2 Sachin & saying...

"accha, why dont u play soccer? I mean it's more popular that cricket."

Cuz he's a cricket player... & she's a feminist. There. Hope u got it!

& about Rakhi Sawant... she's a cheap, dirty, brainless worm. I dont see the link between worms like her & Megha's post.

PS: @Megha-
There, i hope that said it well enough :)

Anonymous said...

@megha and her slave boys.

I have been following ur posts for sometime now. I see a pattern. you raise a provocative post railing all the time of how screwed up men are. there are the set of guys (I would say \"yes men\"), who keep agreeing with you. Those who dont agree you and your cronies effectively thrash them verbally. And its all one happy ultra-feminist family.

> megha says men are fucked up.
>> sriram agrees with her.
>> madam mahima gives her pearls of wisdom
>> chandra agrees with megha
>> megha agrees with everyone
>> anon asks some question.
>> megha calls anon a troll
>> sriram agrees with megha
>> chandra agrees with megha
>> megha agrees with megha and with others.

Its all one big \"hail megha party\" out here...

typical

Yogi said...

rape = tomorrow - telugu (kadi no 2376!) heh, seriously tho, why is it so difficult for men to accept that, clothes or no clothes, drunk or not drunk, stupid or not stupid, rape is inexcusable and ugly?? Temptation does not mean physical abuse of the kind!!!and anyone who actually tries to equate rape to smaller clothes or more revealing clothes, your mind and you are disappointingly "smaller" than the "clothes" that tempt you!

Anonymous said...

see I told you..

freaky - have some self respect. here she is abusive of men and all u can do is \"poor megha, she does no wrong\" act.wake up dude.. u cant reason with these people.. megha is no different than rakhi. same breed, seek attention all the time. She needs help. this is serious.

prathap

Akanksha said...

@freaky: thanks a ton man!!
thats exactly what i meant :)
*tons of hugs.. hopin angel wnt get all J*

@ all those who think i was being gender specific: well i wasnt.. alcohol makes guys and girls equally vulnerable.. just like sweet freaky said

@anon 2: i donot think there is anything wrong with megha at all
what she is doin is tryin to get attention to things that r generally swept under the carpet..
i dnt think she is cravin attention at all..

just bcoz i disagreed with just 1 single point doesnot mean that i support that girls INVITE RAPE just coz they wear what they want toor talk openly or drink or smoke...
what the hell is wrong with u man
why r u attacking smbdy personally when u dnt even kno her..

as fr ur questions

1)she kissed him civilly.. she did not FORCE herself on him like he did!!!!

dnt u guys ever get the difference between consensual and forced GOD!!

2)i dnt kno much abt the incident so i will not refute this claim of urs

but all i want to say is NO means NO
it doesnot mean YES or MAYBE

@megha: i didnt say all this just to get u on my side.. i said all this coz i mean it..
*beams beatifically*

Anonymous said...

@freaky - how do u know she actually received such email from unkwnon people asking questions on rape ? I am sure there is no such email that she has got and its all a figment of her creative mind.

She is good with words no doubt, but all that she claims can be cooked up. Have you guys all become gulliable fools ?

stop that.. \"megha, was my response upto your satisfaction ?\" bit. What are you ? her slave ?

jeeez.. what a bunch of losers.

prathap

Anonymous said...

@akanksha - how is it that rakhi\'s kiss on mikha\'s cheek civil ? while the reverse kiss forced ? what if mikha files a complaint on rakhi.

I dont think rakhi resisted or said no when mikha kissed her. She was ok.. infact she fed him a piece of cake. google up the footage.

I dont think she was outraged. She attended the whole party and it was widely reported both rakhi and mikha getting cosy in the party.

What does it mean if a girl kisses a guy on the cheek and gets kissed in return. What does it mean if she hangs on in the party for next 2 hours, kisses him some more. What does it mean if she files a case 3 hours after the incident.

Its obvious to everyone..

gawwwwd... cant believe such people exist.

prathap

Akanksha said...

oye prathap .. tera dimag theek hai ki nahin??

kya bolta rehta hai tu

just bcoz freaky supports megha's ideas u r callin him her slave
and now coz i am supportin him
i am his slave right?

u r the one who needs therapy man!!

Akanksha said...

like i said i am not really sure abt the rakhi incident but i saw pics of him forcibly kissin her and her tryin to get away frm him..

but why r u harpin on that 1 incident what abt the other stuff that i said
..

Anonymous said...

@akanksha - nope.. i suggested he was a slave because of this

>>PS: @Megha-
>> There, i hope that said it well enough :)

well its obviously some kind of a puppy dog looking up for some crumbs.. maybe he likes her and wants to get into the good books of her.

maybe it was a freudian slip.

Anonymous said...

@akanksha - Unfortunately all u folks including megha took that one incident to justify the beautiful ediface of \"man is evil\".

\"b o o\" narrated the incident of a call center executive raped and murdered in bangalore by the cab driver. The media went beserk. Forensic tests have proved already that the driver was not the rapist. Poor guy was hounded to the hilt.

The police claim, He was setup and the media and all you selfrighteous e-activists went \"tch tch\" about the whole incident. Some even took rang de basanti style candle light procession. It was a case of murder for profit and not rape-went-wrong.

At the end of the day it was neither about the girl who got raped and killed nor about the driver who was falsely accused. Its all about your own self feeding frenzy of \"guys are evil\".

sad

Akanksha said...

i dnt believ guys r evil
actually i am pretty fond of guys
most of my friends r guys

and i didnt use that incident at all..nor any other .. me was just replyin to ur questions

and what i mean is just let freaky and megha be!!
i dnt care if they form a mutual admiration society
neither should u!!!!!
mind ur own business!!

i loathe rapists not men!!

Anonymous said...

@akanksha - All of us loathe rapists. Thats like saying the earth is round. But weather someone is raped or not or weather someone is molested or not, no one can know. Thats why we have police and investiations. We have the law which can be made stricter. Why do we go about saying rakhi got molested, when we hardly know what really happened ? Let the police do the job.

I see a pattern with folks like freaky, sriram, chandru etc. Obviously there is something fishy going on here. I feel sorry for megha and for freaky. She needs help and freaky needs to look elsewhere.

prathap

Vasu the terrible said...

whoa. Prathap. What about those cases where rape has been proved or rape was clear ?

I would appreciate if you just stick to the issue.

The point megha is trying to make here is men should seek consent before doing anything.

"Sex is fine but only after consent. Sex is rape if no explicit consent is obtained." - British consent law.

I still think whatever said and done, its better for people to be sensitive to culture of a place. While in canada and netherlands it is ok to go nude on the roads, it is not so in pakistan and India.

Thats where I agree with the anon who said "its not justification of rape, if someone says - be in your senses."

my 2 cents. Isnt all this already done to death ?

vasu

sirisha said...

@ Prathap -
Whoa .. what the hell is going on here? A person writes their detailed perspective of rape as a crime and some prevalent attitudes towards it. On their blog. And that's a cry for attention?

I'm not sucking up to anyone here (in case you have already mentally chucked me into the ass-kissers category) - I'm only siding with reason. You say that half the stuff Megha comes up with could well be made up and that we're all mindlessly eating it up whole. Ok so tell me - what's made up hun?

That rape happens ? - No, not made up.

That in many cases, the rapist is someone known to the victim? - Nope. not made up either.

That the girl is inevitably blamed in some way or the other for the rape? - Sigh, the girl always gets a slice of the blame.

That we ought to see rape for what it is - a violation against basic human rights- and stop attributing the fault to purely ostensible factors? - Not. Made. Up.

Arguments like these are so tiring, because the discussion here is about a pertinent issue and has nothing whatsoever to do with personal agenda. Why is that so hard to see?

And most of all, how are you even able to see something like this as a popularity contest or a quest for attention?

You've gone completely off tangents Prathap. At least make an effort to be relevant.

Anonymous said...

@sirisha - Do you know weather those guys actually wrote to megha asking those questions ? The questions appear really really stupid and badly made up, like they always are.

I think those questions could have been made up by megha just so that she can strut around her anti-male views. It was obvious in the first statement itself when she went defensive and said \"No I am not anti male bla.. bla.. bla..\". Such a reaction is most definitely an evidence of obvious hatred of the male gender. Just that she doesent openly wants to be seen for her hatred. Yet she wants to express it openly.

I am not saying she is deviant or evil. She needs help. Wierd she hasnt lashed out on me as yet.

prathap

Madame Mahima said...

I think those questions could have been made up by megha just so that she can strut around her anti-male views. It was obvious in the first statement itself when she went defensive and said \"No I am not anti male bla.. bla.. bla..\". Such a reaction is most definitely an evidence of obvious hatred of the male gender.

-cue mahi's 'pearls of wisdom'-

how is her statement proof of OBVIOUS hatred of the male gender?


and even if the questions were made up..so what? you'd be surprised what how many people actually don't know the answers to those questions- however 'stupid and badly made up' they may be. dear prathap,not everyone is as enlightened a being as you.

prathap, it would seem that being objective isn't your strongest forte. logic even less so.
megha talking about rape, means she needs help?
how and why?
what about women who HAVE been raped and who talk about it? is that a cry for attention for purely narcissistic reasons or could it be a way of educating the public?

i really wish people would stop posting such retarded comments on the comment box. i've heard of empty vessels making the most noise, but this is seriously getting ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Let me spell it out for you: I care a rats ass about your whiny *what about men too waaa* wailing. Comprende?

well this is exactly what a rapist thinks when he/she has a victim on her sights.

\"Let me spell it out for you: I care a rats ass about your whiny *what about me* wailing.\"

Both these thought processes are similar. If a man can rape so can a woman. There are enough and more instances of audlt females raping young boys from a position of trust. Read this

Thats just a sample, you get page loads of that if you do a simple google. Men being raped is often scoffed at, made fun off and the trauma is never discussed. Added to that is the stated position of megha.

That one thought of \"I care less for those suffering amongst male\" is similar to the victim\'s lack of compassion. The rapist is a sick person incapable of processing compassion.

for her rape is an all female issue and cant be anyother way. The perpetrator is a male always and the victim always a female. There can also never be a situation where legitmate consensual sex lateron turns into rape just to frame someone (madhur bhandarkar and preeti jain).

Afterall the evil one is the guy.

prathap

Anonymous said...

@mahima - I dont have any differing opinions on rape. But I suspect that rape is just being used as a tool to further female chauvenism than solidarity with victims. You should know that men get raped too. But if a man has sex against his wishes, it is not considered rape. Some have this attitude \"How can a man get raped, if his dick is the one that does the deed ?\".

I hope you get this thing clear. None of us differ w.r.t rape. But I have a feeling that this post is not about rape. This post is megha recting to years of pent up angst. Its making her more and mroe bitter about men in general. She is sic.

prathap

sirisha said...

@ Prathap -

Rape is bad, regardless of who it happens to alright? If the tables were turned, and a guy was truly victimised in such a manner, none of us would to turn our backs against the truth and insist that he must have been to blame in some way. But you can't deny that rape happens a whole lot more to women than men.

And I don't know Megha personally, but I think I can safely say that none of anything she's written is a consequence of "pent up angst", for the simple reason that it makes no sense for it to be. She wrote about the injustice of rape and the myths surrounding it. That's all.

Finally, please get this straight - people with feminist views are not necessarily man-haters or whatever. We simply feel strongly against the compromise of women's interests that has been so annoyingly commonplace for centuries.

Vidya said...

First : Sexual Abuse and Rape are wrong no matter who does it to whom and where.Second, Statistically speaking the incidences of males abusing children, males raping female outnumber the cases of females abusing males and kids.It is almost an 80-20 if not more.

Two, to assume that domestic violence is always perpetrated on women by men is a myopic world view.There are tons of cases of domestic violence in same-sex partnerships.

The one point I feel worth making about rape that occurs in parties atleast in the US is that women are not able to say "This much only and no further". Unfortunately biology, evolution, gender differences all have a role to play in this.

Lastly everyone will have a worldview based on their opinions and feelings/perspectives or the causes they support.So I am sure Megha is no exception.

All said and done, why these personal attacks on her and her friends? It is their prerogative as to how they interact, how they say.Personal attacks on a person is a sign of a weak argument and a lack of conviction.

Please grow up folks.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ everyone: Thanks a bunch. I will answer your comments in a little bit, but let me handle Mr. Prathap here.

PS: Akanksha I wont kill you.:-)
You were coherent and you raised valid points...even though I dont agree with some of them, I wont resort to killing:D
So you can breathe now.:)

@ Prathap ^%&#@$: SIF treating you properly?
Megha and her slave boys?
ahhh...do I detect a tiny little bit of frustration? One more personal crass comment, and Im deleting your comments to hell.
And let me clear this up for you: the questions obviously werent imagined. I dont have time on my hands as you have, first of all to imagine questions, just like you have cooked up various personal insults.
Anyway I shouldnt even bother because youre obviously going to pick on some weird line and twist it and make it into another one of your silly logicless crass insults.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ freaky, sirisha, mahi, ragnell, akanksha, vasu: thank you so much guys.
Mr. Prathap here seems to be a rep. of SIF....even if he isnt his logic(non-existent) reeks of SIFianism.

Freaky, thanks man and ignore prathap&%%#%%$ personal crap insults.

sirisha, you broke it down perfectly for Prathap but alas, by SIFian logic he will only resort to personal logicless insults.
But thanks a bunch yo,:D

Freaky Chakra said...

@pratap:
//nope.. i suggested he was a slave because of this

>>PS: @Megha-
>> There, i hope that said it well enough :)

well its obviously some kind of a puppy dog looking up for some crumbs.. maybe he likes her and wants to get into the good books of her.

maybe it was a freudian slip.///

You idiot. I was being polite cuz it's Megha's blog. I dont know about you, but it's called blogging-manners. Where it's slightly rude to go to someone's blog & deal with comments of some anon guy with a random name (read: pratap) wich does not concern one personally!

But of course, with ur innate fixation on BDSM & bestiality porn, i can see why u saw the whole "slave" angle. It's ok dude, my complete sympathies!

//how do u know she actually received such email from unkwnon people asking questions on rape ? I am sure there is no such email that she has got and its all a figment of her creative mind.//

Tell me something, how the hell does it matter to you if the "mails" she recieves are figments of imagination?

If you dont believe her word for it, read it as a work of fiction & i assure u it wont be any less entertaining. But again... since I assume ur interest in reading fiction would only be limited to reading porn & erotica mags, I sympathize again!


//But weather someone is raped or not or weather someone is molested or not, no one can know.//

Absolutely. You are right. Everything is relative, that einstein chap was a genius, wasnt he? "no one can know" surely!

Temme something, u a lawyer? Becoz unless u are one... this line of thought stinks! For example how do you know u r not an illegitimate child of ur parents? I mean u certainly dont have any proof of that. I can safely say...

"No one can know for sure"

//I see a pattern with folks like freaky, sriram, chandru etc. Obviously there is something fishy going on here. I feel sorry for megha and for freaky. She needs help and freaky needs to look elsewhere.//

Oh dear lord, oh lord... he feels "sorry" for me. Iam blessed! The anon-pratap guy with his instant coffee judgements on everything under the sun - feels sorry for me! Here's a dime u idiot, "dont" feel sorry. What ru some kind of a moral ass or something?

And talking of patterns... ya i see one too. Horny frustrated guys taking on people on the blog of a female who speaks radical shit. Yaah! That feels good & manly now doesnt it dunce-boy!

Aishwarya said...

I really wish people whould do a little research into the comparative numbers of men who are sexually abused as opposed to women. Thee's always a few morons who come and whine at feminists and insist that they turn their attention from the HUGE majority of rapes in which a woman is the victim to the comparatively negligible minority which involve victimised men. Sure, if a man is raped it is a truly awful thing, but that is on an individual level. The rape of women has become a societal phenomenon.

Rape does not take place in the presence of a drunk woman/a scantily clad woman/ a woman who dares do anything other than sit down and shut up. Rape occurs in the presence of a rapist. The next question is how to reduce the number of rapists. The thing is, rapists really aren't that different from ordinary people, they're not particularly diseased or mad. Male rape of women is not viewed as a perversion in the same way that, say, paedophilia is. It's close to impossible to identify potential rapists and 'cure' them. What it IS possible to do, however, is to create a society that doesn't teach us to view women as sexual objects, making it okay to use them for pleasure.

Will that stop rape completely? No. No one teaches us to view eight year old boys as sexual objects, and they still get raped. But it'll certainly bring down the numbers.

What we currently have is a society where women are bartered and used as objects to win or lose honour in some parts of the world, where in others they are rated their fuckability. 70-something percent of readers of the hindustan times vote that Rakhi Sawant doen't have a right to her own mouth because she's thin and wears revealing clothes. Our movie heroes pursue the heroine in songs even as she repeatedly refuses his advances and tries to escape, and the audience cheers him on. That rape is okay is a logical extension of this mindset, and it's THAT which we need to stop. And yet when feminists draw attention to these things we are told that we are overreacting and focusing all our energy on trivial matters as opposed to important issues like rape.

Freaky Chakra said...

@megha:
(warning: the following comment is liable to be interpreted by random-anon people as a "puppy-dog-begging-for-crumbs" routine)

I tried to resist the temptation of responding to this guy, cuz as a rule it jus snowballs. But sorry, cudnt do so! Any cluttering of ur comments-section frm hereon in is deeply regretted :D

Aishwarya said...

rated FOR their. Sorry, I cannot type.

RefleXtion said...

he he how old was the sender again?? Someof the q's were just plain dumb...like this one..

Why does the abuser (in a relationship) always look calm and collected while the abusee always seems flustered? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Yeah relax...the dude is carrying a harmless chair over his head for kicks.....relax...keep calm....and don't let that right hook bother you...it won't hurt..much....now you're just plain over-reacting!!!

Yogi said...

@prathap

i have to say it im sorry, rusell peters forgive me, my friend and i were walking down the road and we heard a loud fart "PRATHAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP", i cant ever see megha or mahima or chandni or anyone ever hating guys, in fact i think you should probably go see their comments on "guy" blogs, very encouraging,affectionate and happy, unlike some ppl like you who have nothing better to do than to try and find a reason to argue about something which both statistics and common sense have proved time and again as something which has become a social agenda, ie rape(man rape woman, just for clarification)..and trying to even turn the statistics around with bizzare exceptions!

Sriram said...

@ SOB-without-balls aka anon with the long comment,
Hello!! Nice to see you too. what is that? you are sour cause you are not invited to the party? aww.. too bad.. you can eat leftovers though, anytime you want. I can really tear your ass down boy, but that's not needed. For one, I hate MC's like you and maybe I should take up feminism just out of spite. so what if it is a "hail megha" party? You wont be a part of it. not a chance in hell. now go suck on your finger you little crybaby.

B o o said...

@ the anon has commented before a million comments - My point was the warning issued by the POLICE after a rape in Times Of India asking women to "cover up". If the driver has been found not guilty now, SO WHAT?

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ boo: dont even bother with that anon crackhead. Hes just looking for kicks.:)

Anna said...

good god..to think i missed it all!
Damn. I should start reading your comment section properly, megs.

Ok. I have my bit to say.

@Anon aka Prathap aka Dickhead: you really should confine yourself to reading stupid SIF articles. They address a LOT of men's issues there.
A LOT. Like SOWRY (Conjured DOWRY harassment cases that apparently becomes as harrassment of the son-in-law). Maybe you should contribute on 'rape of men'. But read up on the facts first.
Yes. 10% of rapes happen to men. BUT... 99% of male-rapists are MEN!
SO... If men rape men and women, so exactly WHO is to be targeted in anti-rape articles such as this one????
If you think megha's blog is a forum for her to express her anti-male views, you cant do anything about it, even if that were true. You are right. Its her blog. Not yours. And we all come here to read those very same, so called 'anti-male' views. And most of us (me definitely) enjoy them.

And how you can think that this Punkster, who admitted to her first crush, without any sort of embarrassment (well maybe a little;-)), is anti-male, is beyond me to understand.
And like Freaky said, she's a feminist. You cant expect her to write articles praising men and the glory of Indian families. She wouldnt be The Punkster, then.
And so Mr.Anonymous aka Prathap aka Dickhead, we all hope you return. If for nothing else, just to read your hilariously ridiculous replies.

P.S. - I hope you sprain a finger or two, writing individual replies to everyone who has addressed you.

Ragnell said...

@akansha -- I wasn't persoanlly attacking you, I was trying to clarify the issue. Being drunk makes you vulnerable, but Megha's point seemed specifically on victim-blaming. If someone gets raped, the first reaction should be condemnation of the attacker, not a question of the victim's wisdom in the situation. I can be very blunt and direct, when I do so, I think that too much sweeteners and qualifiers in your answers tend to confuse the issue. Sorry!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ ragnell: * bows *

:)

Ragnell said...

megha -- :)

Anonymous said...

@all - I read through all your comments carefully and I would try to answer as much as possible to make my stance clear.

1) I have been reading megha\'s post for a long time and its only offlate that she has become a man-hater of sorts. Well personal experiences are ok and fine but intense loathing bordering on husteria is certainly a condition. I havent examined her personally but its nothing wrong if she goes and sees a shrink. Its not derogatory or anything, afterall we would see a dentist if we have a tooth ache wont we ?

But the signs are there. Total lack of humanity and compassion and onesidedness in dealing with an issue like rape.

2) I thought someone said statistics is inhuman and human suffering cannot be justified in numbers. Certainly there is no mention of statistics in megha\'s original post. It might help to read it again.

3) My whole argument that this blog is about extreme posts and the rest pleasing megha has been authenticated both by sriram\'s candid admission and freaky\'s exasperated defence. There is nothing wrong with it guys, plough on. I am not cut out for it.

4) Megha, it is your blog post and feel free to delete all/any messages of mine. Infact I expect you to do it. Thats how I expect you to react to questioning. I can understand.

@specifically aishwarya - True no one says that more men are raped. But rape is a psychological affliction beyond gender differences. In one stroke donot make the rapist a man and the victim a woman. Statistics apart, you are trying to stereotype crime. Similar to what many in the west have deepset in the mind that the black man must be a criminal just because there is a statistics to show for it. This is what we call as cultural biases. I am worried about this.

@B 0 0 - Do you know the gender of the reporter/copywriter/editor of TOI ? What if its a woman ? Oh I forgot patriarchy. Its so easy to jump to conclusion cos when you make sweeping statements like that, an innocent person is always the victim. ITs people like you who muddle the truth. The poor cab driver is languishing in prison.

@anna - I appreciate your candour and honesty in this regard. So do we officially get megha\'s admission that her blog is anti-male ? Let her say that, we wont come here. We are anti-nobody, noteven anti-megha.

finally @megha - Lady, you have a problem. you have to watch out for those who twist my statements and call you \"mad\". i dont think you are mad. You just need a littl help. All of us at some point of time or the other need help. Its ok.

If you still feel antagonistic about those who call a spade a spade, go ahead prove me right. Delete the comments. afterall its your site.

prathap

Drops Of Jupiter said...

http://buggydoo.blogspot.com/2006/03/letter-to-alex-and-chris-twelve-years.html

Megha, I think everyone should read this.. it is gut-wrenching.

Akanksha said...

@ragnell: no need to be sowiee.. its ok

i would never blame the victim no matter what .. i just suggested caution..
:)

sirisha said...

I was determined to ignore any further comments by The Prathap but the following delightfully absurd remarks made it impossible for me to resist!

I have been reading megha\'s post for a long time and its only offlate that she has become a man-hater of sorts. Well personal experiences are ok and fine but intense loathing bordering on husteria is certainly a condition. I havent examined her personally but its nothing wrong if she goes and sees a shrink. Its not derogatory or anything, afterall we would see a dentist if we have a tooth ache wont we ?

Tut tut Megha, why'd you get all hysterical? There was really no need to scream and lose it the way you did you know. Calm down now. Take deep breaths. You can do it. There, good girl! Now, Dr.Prathap here is a top-class psychiatrist and is very dedicated to his work. All you have is a tooth-ache except its in your mind and if you would only let the doctor "examine you personally" he would gladly extract your mind ..er I mean tooth from your brain. Or tooth-ache from your mind. whatever.


Megha, it is your blog post and feel free to delete all/any messages of mine. Infact I expect you to do it. Thats how I expect you to react to questioning. I can understand.

Yes Megha, the doctor understands. You see, your state of mind at present is very fragile. He doesn't expect you to heal right away but he is confident that with time and patience, he could guide you along the path to restoring your sanity.

Do not make light of this doctor's advice Megha. Because all that he has learnt about psychiatry, he has learnt by closely observing Rajinikanth in Chandramukhi.

And nobody messes with Rajinikanth.

Vasu the terrible said...

@Prathap - Dude, I think you shot yourself on your feet with all those psychiatry talks. prathap, you are terribly confused. Take a break, read your comments and you will see how ridiculous it sounds.

What I cant understand is this. Why do es one have to always be politically incorrect while talking about an issue. It is true that 99% of rapes (if not more) in India is about a woman. Male rapes ? Seriously is too small an issue. Megha is talking about society's reaction to rape, of how a victim gets blamed and reaction to civil society.

While you are on google search for honour killings.

Rest of your clinical analysis is bullshit.

I think you need a MRI catscan done.

btw... who is this "we" in your "we are anti-nobody ?".. are there more than one of you ?

Thats cheap and mark of a big time loser(s).

vasu

Vasu the terrible said...

@sirisha - Thats damm funny.. except for the bit about rajnikanth..

i hate this psychoanalytical types. always linking mundane behaviour like posting blogs to a toothache in the frontal lobe.. :D..

my vote: dont delete prathap's posts. Your blog needs people like him to lighten up the mood a little bit. Damm we should all be greatful to god for putting such a genious amidst us.

Aaahhh.. a pain in my head.. its my molars.

vasu

Vasu the terrible said...

drops of jupiter -

amazing. I guess that answers all queries people would have.

sirisha said...

@ Vasu. lol Rajinikanth's totally cool man, seriously. Expect when he talks about how a ponnu should be. And about pudhu medhods in sykatry (psychiatry).

Otherwise I did like him in a lot of his 80s movies (thillu mullu, aval appadithaan etc).

Ok Megha, we're all totally digressing. New post please !

Oh, and I second Vasu. Leave Prathap's priceless comments on here. They are rich in entertainment value :P

Anonymous said...

@vasu the terrible

Dude, you are also part of the MAS (mutual admiration bla).. I have seen your posts vigorously agreeing with all the obnoxious statements megha keeps making about men. She is more anti-men than anti-rape.

Are you guys eunuchs ? How can you stand that slavary. It just infuriates me when she keeps abusing men with a broad brush and guys like you spring to her defence. I think you guys need to understand the larger game here of she trying to convert as many people as possible against men. A female dominated society is her idea of the world. you guys are all falling for that.. almost being seduced by megha.. I am not saying the world should be male dominated. Why has it to be dominated ?

Yes, we are more than just one individual who think that \"megha\" is a big time fake. Most of her friends would say that right behind her back. Atleast we have the courage to tell her right n her blog.

Definitely she has some childhood trauma which has turned her into a maneating tigress. she cares a rats aass about anything else except her own notion of how men are evil and vile... Maybe it was her father. Was it your father megha ?

prathap

Vasu the terrible said...

yawn!!.. its getting boring prathap or whoever else you speak for

firstly, i think you are a 3rd rate coward. You still are talking as an anonymous guy who cant take responsibility for his own words. Secondyly your friends are worse cowards, and let you speak for them.

Hell I am confused.. who (all) am I speaking to ?

I guess thats where your credibility stands. So give us a break and stop boring us all.

about me being a eunuch.. whoa.. have you ever examined yourself ? why do you hate eunuchs so much to use them as an abuse ?

dude take your world domination theory elsewhere.

Actually if you think of it. It sounds plaussible. Megha is that evil machine which brainwashes people and prathap is morpheus who saves us from the matrix.

I am done with you man. Going to press the ignore button. But feel free to rant on. afterall this is a psychologically repressed group.

megha dont delete his comments.

vasu

Jan said...

Hey awesome post. When I first saw that it had 81 comments, I never thought I'd get through them but i got sucked into it and have now spent nearly a half hour reading through the comments. :D

Funny thing about this prathap character. Despite the fact that he totally disagrees with you, doubts your mental health and has insulted both you and your friends repeatedly in YOUR BLOG, he just seems totally unable to stay away from it! He keeps coming back. I mean, if it offends him so much, why not just get lost. It must be his good heart, his great concern for you that makes him come back and check if you've had psychiatric help yet. Or hey... you must have some secret evil mind-control powers that force people to keep commenting on your blog even when they are clearly not welcome! Ah, you evil woman! Your secret it out!

Sarcasm aside, I have to say, in any serious discussion of any kind, there's always a prathap who tries to twist things around and take the focus away from the main issue. It's probably best to ignore such people but it's always fun in the beginning to verbally kick their sorry asses. But saturation point has already been reached here I think.

To get back to the original issue, I think this type of thinking is a contagious disease. The whole of society thinks that women are somehow responsible for crimes against them and so right from childhood, boys are led to think it's ok to whistle/sing at girls in public. It starts from there and spreads to domestic violence/rape. One solution would be to educate women about their rights so that they can teach their children that women's rights are to be respected. That may not be a perfect solution, but it's a start.

Angelo Embuldeniya (Strav) said...

SIF is that ridiculous Save indian family site i saw up last year? I remember some stupid statements made on that site and i getting spam from one of their mailers...

have they changed or are they still the same dumb/ignorant lot?

Da Rodent said...

jeez... sex == rape?? cant believe it that people can actually think like that.

Sriram said...

@ prathap,
Boy, it don't matter if you type long comments that make NO SENSE at all. First, if megha hates men, we wouldn't be here. Second, its "slavery" not "slavary" or "savory". Its called a dictionary, look it up. Third, about the whole shrink thing, I think the only one who needs it is some douchebag who goes around running his mouth and yet, lacking the balls to leave an ID, going under a pseudo-anon ID like prathap.

And I ain't done yet.
"Yes, we are more than just one individual who think that \"megha\" is a big time fake. Most of her friends would say that right behind her back. Atleast we have the courage to tell her right n her blog." - Oh, really? so, do you know her personally? lemme see - you are an anonymous coward. You are a douchebag on top of that and worse yet - you are "more than one invidivual" which makes the entire group of "more than one individual" a bunch of eunuchs. get it? no b.a.l.l.s.

and here's a question for you : when's the last time you got any? Sexual starvation can lead to disastrous results, as witnessed in the case of one "prathap". DOn't you agree?

eternal flunky said...

that link was reeaaally ugly!! did u get that petition i forwarded? good lord, there's no end to ugliness... ugliness that can be helped... real ugliness i guess... what we gonna do bout all this man?!?feel kinda fired up

eternal flunky said...

that link was reeaaally ugly!! did u get that petition i forwarded? good lord, there's no end to ugliness... ugliness that can be helped... real ugliness i guess... what we gonna do bout all this man?!?feel kinda fired up

Anna said...

@Prathap aka Dickhead-
1.You are right. Megha probably is a man-hater and as she had previously admitted, a man-eater as well.

2.Yes. This blog is about Megha and her one sided 'man-hating' views which can never be the pro-women posts they are presumed to be by lesser mortals.

3.Yes. This blog is visited by megha-worshippers like freaky, sriram and a lot of others including me.

4.Please learn to use the dictionary if you dont know the spelling of a word instead of trying to just type in something that sounds approximately the same. It makes it easier for the readers.

How exactly do you plan your game, Mr. Troll of the Post?
Lets see if my guess is close enough...

If 99% of all (whether the victims are men or women) rapists are MEN, then instead of simply putting the blame on them, you make some irrelevant, stupid, hilarious statement that in some weird twisted way blames WOMEN. And then u claim that all self respecting, opinionated women hate men. It makes for loads of entertainment and fun.

You very easily 'forget' patriarchy. (Its too controversial a topic and a much debated one to be used for successful trolls.)

You tell the writer of the blog, 'we' are 'only' saying that he/she is crazy and needs to make an 'customay' visit to the shrink, using toothache and visits to the dentist as an example.

Finally you shift the topic to a much more personal level by pretending to be Sigmund Freud and psycho-analyse the blog owner, bringing about discussions of childhood issues, and parent problems, while ignoring the childhood issues of your own past staring you in your face...

By doing all this you make yourself more and more ordinary, comment after comment till even a first time reader finds you a dead bore.

Gee... Your life must be so much fun!!!
Where did you learn all this, Prathap, Mr. Troll of this Post?
Do trolls have like a special course or something they need to bring out the douchebag in them? Or is it something you are born with?

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ anna : *worships*

:-)

chandni said...

@megha: Is this weasel for real??????

Hilarious!!!

And dear weasel, No one here is interested in ur rant about psychaitry, childhood problems and "she is out to destroy men"...

But knowing "men" like you, i sometimes think that's the way!

Freaky Chakra said...

@pratap:
Sorry dude iam out of enthusiasm to snipe at you. Just consider an affirmative (and an apology, if required) granted for every charge/claim/deduction/hypothesis u have about me.

*goes off hoping that all reason for anon-dipshit guy to pass his lofty judgements has just been sapped out*

the wannabe indian punkster said...

gosh,

@ jan: thank you. I think that societal conditioning should be tackled at the roots. The problem is women are by default the bearers of 'national honor' and that kind of thinking has to stop. In other words, I agree with you :)

@ angelo: yes it is! didnt you know?

@ da rodent: you dont know how many people think like that. Too many for my comfort, actually. :(

@ THE prathap: ROFL! Where do I begin with you? Please, prathapji go back to SIF! your brand of poopy moronism is truly rare! Im sorry to disappoint you, but my parents are extremely normal, and they actually brought me up to think independently, which is obviously blasphemous in your eyes.

Sanity along with earth logic will help your case. You have neither. Look up the words in a dictionary and try to comprehend the meaning of those words.

@ vidya: I think I might have left out your name when I thanked the others. I apologise profusely, and I also THANK YOU loads! :D

the inquisitive akka said...

Ignore him for he knows not what he says.
Prathap or whoever you are,it looks to me like you are just dying for some attention. Well you've got it so let's hope you are happy. And yes, please do a spell check before you subject us "yes-men and women" to your balderdash.

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of fakes.

@vtt - you are free to do what you want..I am amazed at the subservience people display here. you must be a tamil. madrasis are feminine guys, anyway.. is megha your amma ?

@anna - You dont have any idea what rape is apart from reading a few newspaper reports. You dont have a clue about it do you ? Ever met a rape victim ?

Why do you conclude that if I dont blame men for rape, I autmoatically blame women for it ? I guess you havent heard of not blaming anyone.

I know the types of megha very well, but am surprised by the hordes of devotees she has. Mostly would be tamil guys who build temple for koooshboo and fall at amma\'s feet.

Life need not be a choice between being dominated and dominating others. there is a third way. Which is what you guys can never understand. I was just making a point that rape is gender non-specific. If you make it gender specific issue, you will reach nowhere. Rapes are going to increase further not decrease, because totally misguided people like megha and all others end up hating man and even making men hate themselves.

Many times women concott stories to trap men. no one talks of that. the poor driver is still in jail because all you men haters want someone to pay for it. doesent matter if he is gunegar or innosent..

ya, my english is bad.. but my insight is good. Megha\'s post is always about how man is evil, how he is the cause of all problems etc. She never has a solution. She has only blame. A clear reflection of her life. If its not your dad you hate, must be a boyfriend in your early years... who cheated on you... or where you..??

There is nothing wrong about seeing a psychiatrist. I just made a similarity between a dentist and psychiatrist and how we view the two. I dint know people have difficulty understanding this.

prathap

Sakshi said...

Firstly sweety, I am just glad that you whipped their flat-asses. I agree with others that you should ignore them but with some people it just doesnt seem to work.

Plus I feel that you should let others know where you stand, not that it actually matters what they think about you....but its just good for our own system.

So igonre them till YOU feel its right...otherwise spare no mercy.

Why Am I said...

@anon - hey this is way too much!!...first ur anon...u make silly comments ..and then u abuse ppl!? by making racist comments???wtf ?>?!!!yea i know ur gonna say "megha worshipping club" etc etc....but pls listen to urself....visit a doc...(if poss get ur brain chked...if u have one tht is...) and then come bak:)

Neha said...

i think i am here a little late.. but i understand that everyone's bored of the rape bit and hates a certain anon guy more than rapists by now.. hey anon, i hate you too

sirisha said...

Pardon the profanity, but the Prathap is so fucking annoying already. Not to mention terribly boring. Despite the fact that he comes up new rubbish each time. (like we're spineless or whatever so we must be madrasis). It's not even so funny anymore cos it's just so bloody boring.

what you gonna say next dr. prathap? That we're all blaming people so that must mean we're vegetarians? Like, spineless, leaf eating vegetarians. I dunno. I simply connected two random things.

boring. boring. boring.

did I mention boring?

Bobby said...

Now anon why dont you tell you are an INDIANhusband too.
Pratap, Swarup, Sumanth...the list goes on.

Dee U must see on the site above the explanation he has given you...he is challenging you LOL LOL

Freaky Chakra said...

@pratap aka dipshit:
sorry i break my vow. i had to after reading ur reply... for the following reasons -

1. It's concoct not concott u idiot. Why use fancy words when u cant spell them right.

innosent? that the best u can come close to english? & what the hell is gunegar? keep a hindi-english dictionary handy & use the word 'criminal' the next time.

2.//Why do you conclude that if I dont blame men for rape, I autmoatically blame women for it ?
I guess you havent heard of not blaming anyone.//

Ok. When lightening strikes - no one is to be blamed.

When earthquakes wreck cities - no one is to blamed.

But when someone gets raped or murdered or both - There IS definitely someone to be blamed.

Given the fact that 99.99% of people who DO get raped are women(iam not counting prison-rapes or child molesting, where men are equally vulnerable) - it is obvious that the blame has to borne by men.

I mean even though I or you or anyone else reading this blog may not commit a rape... even though you and I might pound a rapist to pulp if we could ever get our hands on one - the fact is that it does not absolve our lot of the responsibility.

You cannot look the other way by a simple statement as - "all men are not rapists".

3. Women concoct (note: the correct usage of the spelling. Learn!) stories. Yes. It's very sad. But the fact is that the number of men exploited in this way are always going to be far less than the number of raped women.

All in all, women need this kind of protectional umbrella, it's the lesser of two evils. And besides if women can actually get away with this kind of pathetic act... then it is a more convincing argument for the need of improving the judicial systemic process rather than granting women the protectional umbrella!

4. Yes, rape is not exclusive to women. Men DO get raped. But here's another fact. Most men are raped NOT by women but by other men.

5.//If you make it gender specific issue, you will reach nowhere.
Rapes are going to increase further not decrease, because totally misguided people like megha and all others end up hating man and even making men hate themselves. //

"making men hate themselves"... my my, somebody's got a low self-esteem!

I agree rape is not gender specific, but the fact is that the rapists are almost universally men. So why the hell are you moaning if efforts to tackle rape start by making men more sensitive towards the issue?

6.//There is nothing wrong about seeing a psychiatrist//

Bang on potato-head. For once everyone will agree with you.

So, when is your next appointment? Do keep us posted on how ur sessions went!

Aditya Bidikar said...

Posting a comment after a hundred others is a bit intimidating, but I'll do it anyway.

About arguments that keep saying: "Y'know, we agree rape is bad, but what are you feminists doing as a solution?"

Feminists are doing a lot of things, but let's put that aside for a moment - I'd like to ask these people one thing. The majority agrees murder is bad, so how about preventing murder? How about no one ever leaves home so that there's no chance of it happening? And how about saying, "Y'know, this person was not wearing a special protective armour, so of course they got murdered. What did they expect?"

Offering 'don't go out' and 'always be careful' as solutions for rape is about as sensible.

The fact is that sickos are not going to stop raping because feminists say rape is bad. But the perceptions about rape can be changed, and the onus can be shifted from the victim to the perpetrator. And the casual rapists who have never actually been told rape is bad can understand that. Among many, many other things.

And for people who keep saying, "Men get raped too!!! Why not talk about them?", please read this:

http://bitingbeaver.blogspot.com/2006/04/dubhe-proportional-rape-discussion.html

Brad said...

Hmmm. Well, I didn't read through the post much, as usual, me being me. But you might wanna look up 'feminism'; folks have lost the meaning of the word! :( Check it out, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Sriram said...

@ Prathap the "ball-less" SOB, (wait, that means he's a guy, no? scratch that then - the SOB part that is),
What? no comment for me? damn!!! There's something called continuity. you might wanna look that up on a dictionary too. first megha was our master and now she is our "amma". btw, I'd watch my back if I were you.. too many "amma" worshippers around and anyone might stab you when you are travelling by public transport. (you might be surprised at the number of 'em amma fanatics in various cities).

As for the shrink thing, i figured out why you are so stupid and moronic. You weren't hugged enough as a kid, were you? it WAS your mom, wasn't it? and does your wife (God pity her if there is indeed one) hug you? you need a good hug boy.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ aditya: thank you for bringing a semblance of sanity to this comments box. We can collectively blame Mr. anon/prathap for derailing the whole discussion.
And thanks for the link. I actually read biting beaver pretty regularly,Ive read that particular link, but maybe I should put it up as an addendum to my post.
I am sick and tired of people countering with "ok, WE get it now what are you going to do about it?".

You took the words right out of my mouth, with your comment.

Thanks again :-).

Anonymous said...

To Freaky Chakra,
I am sorry to be taking this conversation off on a tangent, but couldn't help but notice this statement of yours "I mean even though I or you or anyone else reading this blog may not commit..."
Am no English major but since you are into correcting spellings and english, I was wondering, isn't 'I or you' wrong usage? Maybe 'you or I' or 'you or me' is better?
Sorry for being so picky.


R Anthony,
College Park,
MD, USA

P.S. - I am not a blogger so I have to write in as 'anonymous'

confused said...

Dear Aditya,

I usually refrain from commenting on this blog due to the veritable free for all and such, but I was mildly amused by your comment so..

There is no one who does not know rape is wrong, I was actually alarmed by your use of the term casual rapist, eh...what is the other type? Just like a murderer knows a commiting a murder is a crime, the same goes for one who commits a rape. That he choses to disregard such concern is the reason why a crime is commited. Of course, there are same who are of uneven mental balance, that is true for all crimes.

Second, an advise to be careful and blaming a victim for being raped are seperate issue. I am not sure, why are you mixing the same? Let me give an example, if a woman chose to walk in a deserted street in the middle of the night and she gets raped, will I blame her for not being carefull, hell yes. Will I blame her for being raped, of course not. Two different issues.

Of course it is not ideal, the same way that you have to remember to lock your door when your leave for wek everyday is not ideal, but is inevitable if you want to have a home to come back to.

Third, you raised this issue of what feminists(sic), I am kind of allergic to this term to excuse me, are doing about rape? I am not sure they can or should be expected to prevent rapes. What would be reaonable to expect for them or for anyone who feels concerned is to make sure that such criminals are given the stringest punishment possible.

@Megha,

I was a little disappointed by your preamble to your piece, when you mentioned about not caring about what happens to men because you are feminist. By that extensions, since I am not a feminist, I should not be concerned by atrocties on women?

If you were just replying to an argument, I am not sure why you were constrained to reply to an obviously childish argument by an imbecile argument of yours? Rape, like development is not a zero sum game.

best

Anna said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anna said...

@R Anthony: I dont know about freaky, but... using 'I' before 'you' is a matter of choice and respect and courtesy. I think Prathap aka dickhead has done/said enough to be alluded to without respect or courtesy.

@Prathap aka Dickhead: Actually, I have met a rape victim. Someone very close to me.
Yes. I havent heard of not blaming anyone for rape. Most people either blame the victim or the rapist. Because no normal, sane, sensible person considers rape as a random act for which no one needs to be blamed.

Yes. We worship Megha. Actually plans for a temple are about halfway through. And even a support blog. And we dont take well to megha-dissers.

'Madrasis are feminine guys' Dude... You really have issues with everything and everybody.

@everyone: what is 'gunegar' ???

4WD said...

It seems a little pointless to be the one-hundred-and-many-somethingth commenter here.

But i distinctly get the feeling that not a lot of people know what they're talking about. I dont claim to be a rape specialist myself, but I know a wee bit about crime.

A) Cover-up-and-dont-drink. OK, logically, it makes sense. If you're not in a dark street filled with escaped convicts, wearing a halter neck and short-shorts, you probably wont get raped.
But here's the thing. I work in Delhi see, which as you know is called India's rape capital. We get rape cases every-day. So many, that we don't even bother with them if they're not from high profile areas or gang-rapes.
in my year and a half here (with some part spent covering crime) i have not yet seen a SINGLE rape where a skimpily dressed girl was raped outside a seedy bar.
Most rapes happen at home. Friends, family, parents. Things like that. Girls sometimes get picked up from the street by a bunch of guys in a moving car. The last girl i heard of, was on her way to shit. And most of the gir;s were dressed rather conservatively.

2) rape=sex. err... anyone ever read about this before commenting? Most psychologists agree that raping someone is about power, not sex. If you know about basic needs (like nAppreciation, nGratification, you know) a rapist is looking to fulfill his need for power, not the sex drive.

3) Rakhi sawant. Pratap my man. Read the papers a little more. Dont watch so much aaj tak and Sansani.

4) Megha being a man hater. Yes i agree with you, she is. Come on, you can tell from the black leather she wears. And the whip. If you're ever in town megha, you can spank me.

5) Megha, you really, really should care about `mens issues' a little more. For example. I have not gone out with a pretty woman my age for the past 2 weeks. Know anyone?

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ 4wd: ROFL!

And I replaced my black leather boots with dark brown knee-high suede boots, I hope you dont mind!

But I still have my whip, so I'll drop you a line when Im in Delhi!

*snerk*

:P

Madame Mahima said...

hehe im so in love with 4wd right now!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

were both in love with 4wd mahi ;)

confused said...

4wd,

If your jibe at ''mens'' issue was directed at me then let me point out that I only took issue with Megha pointing out that ''she did not care about men's issue because she is a feminist''

?????

Does this mean that she should write about men's rape or balance her posts, hell no. I only pointed out something which according too all my friends who are feminists is wrong. I am no feminist myself but if this narrow definition of feminism is true, then I would be seriously sceptical of any such philosophy.

Your comment about needing a girl and such, while cute is completely useless.

Thats all

best

just_another_blogger said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

@everyone - I see a lot of people calling me names out of severe frustration. Well I can understand.

@sisisha - I have seen that most madrasis are this momma\\\'s boys. They never fight for their rights, they dont fight for their country and they certainly dont count as men. They go through life literally from pallu to pallu. Abhe, they even cook. Obviously they are likely to be femenate, soft and curd rice gulping. Most men have become slaves in south india.

The thing is I am not so keen to entertain you. Go get a south indian sambar to entertain you. he would gladly do a strip act.

@freaky chakra - you have touched the concept of collective guilt. Thats so much shit your \\\"amma\\\" has fed you, that dude you look yellow. How am I responsible for a woman raped in delhi ? Should I feel guilty ? hate myself ? hell no. This collective guilt philosophy has been used world over to turn individuals into willing apologist. Freaky, reflect on it and you dont need to be such a big \\\"chakka\\\". You too have a choice not to feel guilty or responsible for a crime you havent comitted.

About your spelling errors, reflects your attitude towards those who are not elitist and feminist like you. dude dont turn into a woman.

@aditya - I havent yet commented on who is to blame. I might agree with you afterall. But the main question is why this blame game ? no one wants any one in their family to be raped. But this \\\"men are responsible\\\" is not just unreasonable and unfair, but also wrong. Even by your statistics women who rape men (male children included) is around 10 %.

I am opposed to the agenda of feminist in general and concerned about the deteriorating mental health of megha in particular. she is a self proclaimed man-hater and has too many desciples to keep her that. None of them are doing her any good, just goading her to stay that way. The desciples are so comfortable abusing anyone as dickhead and asshole, imagine how they would address women they dont like ? Let me guess.. cunt ? slut ? whore ? Well rapists also show the same tendancies.

How do they turn out that way ? manufacturing intense hate which is most often imagined.

Lets examine my good friend sriram\\\'s usage of words. SOB. By calling me an SOB who is he abusing ? the son or the mother ? Well its so seeped into his psyche that knowingly or unkwnoingly there is a huge disconnect between the cause these nitwits seek to fight and their inherant trait. It is intense devotion to amma and her battles and hatred to anyone who dare question. Its funny to read the reactions and see how quickly people get abusive.

@WIP - I credit you. You are extremely intelligent to have built this coeterie (freaky. can you do the spell check pls). Well done. And I see your scheme out here. Build an army of nitwits who you just need to appreciate by giving them brownie points now and then. Well frankly, If I were a scheming man hater, there is no greater kick than to have a bunch of madrasis as my whipping boys. Its not just about an arbit fetish, seriously dont you think something is amiss with you ? how cant you see it ? is it denial ? alas..

@confused - I know what you are saying. But you are mild about your analysis my friend. Things are far worse than what it seems. Discussions on this blog are not about topics, but to further a feverish anti-male agenda. ITs got to do with a personal hatred towards male of megha. What you felt was true esp in the preamble. However much people may vouch for megha\\\'s loving and caring side, no one can hide the fact that she is not just a person who is concerned about women issues, but a person who seeks to find a link to blaming men.

@4wd - Arre dosth, I know the facts of the case much more closely. some of my friends attended the party. That lady is a dramaebaaz.. nothing else. And here people are shedding croc tears for a thing she so cleaverly engineered to garner publicity. If there is an arrest warrant how did mikha fly out the next day ? Its all fixed dude. You dont know what these mumbaiwaalas will do for a few frames of national t.v.. As long as madrasi, self righteous, guilt laden people dominate the media truth will always suffer. btw. what news paper do you read ? Punkab kesari ?

@everyone You know how funny and insightful this comment section is. Its just unbelievable. I predicted the exact reaction and I got it. Except for megha deleting my posts.. damm I thought she would. maybe now she will.

But megha. Dont you have a least bit doubt that you might be psychotic ? paranoid ? Comeon, why the panga ? just go have a checkup. I will reimburse you the fees. Maa kasam. Let me know when you are coming to dilli, I will get it done free.

prathap

Drops Of Jupiter said...

Prathap, Where is this blatant hatred for south indians coming from? Curd-rice gulping idli sambar jokes... did you ever really grow out of primary school?

Did a South Indian girl reject you?or some South Indian guy get better grades than you?
What kind of low-blows are these anyway?

I am ashamed to be an Indian after reading what you have written.

Shame on you prathap, really for bringing down our diversity like this.

Vasu the terrible said...

@confused.
You have to distinguish between emotions depicted on the blog from the issue it seeks to highlight. Infact the preamble of megha adequately relflects the emotions we should have while dealing with this most horrible of crimes. I think there is nothing wrong with that. It seeks to highlight the issue, elicit a response and further the cause.

I think this debate on rape and the need to focus on the rapist not the victim has advanced the cause significantly.

Though I am also a little uncomfortable with "full blown feminism", I can appreciate the point this once. You cant deny its effective.

2cents

vasu

sirisha said...

@ drops of jupiter
LOL.. good one! I'm completely with you.

@ Prathap
Regardless of whether you wish to entertain us or not, you are highly amusing, in a pathetic sort of way. And if you would excuse me now, I've got to get back to my striptease-performing sambar boys. What would I do without them!

Anna said...

@Prathap aka dickhead:
How convenient!!! you didnt reply to me.
I am tired of u anyway.
Its getting more and more boring....
Bugger off before u get so peppered with stinky tomato's and rotten eggs, you become half boiled egg with tomato sauce.

@ Megs: maybe you should grant this guy's wish and delete his comment.

Anna said...

on second thoughts, dont.
its way too amusing....

confused said...

Vasu,

Please to tell me how claiming that one is not concerned about men's issue because one is feminist(patently wrong) advance the cause of focussing on rapists instead of victims?

Where's the connect?

Prathap,

I have no interest in your personal name calling and even worse regional parochialism.

Sorry, nothing personal, different rules of engagement thats all.

best

Vasu the terrible said...

Fundementally rape as a topic has been caught in a big trap. Trap of pinning the blame. Its important to place the source of this evil correctly for any effective societal measure.

By outright saying that in the context of rape, megha is not intersted in discussing male issues, she has clearly made rape not an issue of crime (which often muddles on in protection, fear and precaution) but an issue of gender. Which to a large extent is what it is.

I think from then on its simple. Which gender do victims generally belong and to which do the perpetrators belong ? 99% it is females who are the victims and males who are the perpetrtors. This makes addressing root causes of rape and evolving a effective societal response much more easier.

Remember Rape is not just about some unkwon evil. You can actually figure out a genetic cause to it. Remember sea lions are one of the few species which indulge in rape.

Like the kind of education we impart on kids. you dont teach everyone the same old boring moral studies but focus on different messages for different genders. Teach girls self confidence and mechanism to defend themselves (karate, judo, takewando, pepperspray, kalari etc.) and teach the guys the proper social conduct, efar of law. Evolve a better societal response to rape. Ostracise the rapist and support the victim. Lastly have a good mechanism of criminal justice. prosecute quickly and justly.

There is tremendous sexual tension among kids because of various messages in movies, cinemas etc. You can adequately respond to these messages so that people actually grow up respecting the opposite gender. So if Rajni says "Ponna madhikaravan dhan ambale..." thats ok.. but if he says "ambaleku adangi porava dhan pombale", that may not be ok.. so figuring out the right kind of education to the right people at the right age can make soceity a much safer place.

Societal change esp in India takes its own time. So a consensus on the right measures is critical.

though I dont speak for megha, I think its not about deriding the male gender or hating someone as the fool prathap is making out to be, but more to understand whats the dynamics within a gender. Rape is a byproduct of social dynamics. To some extent you can poliece the streets. Thats just palliative. But unless the root cause is understood and treated rape annot be eradicated. Instead of A getting raped, it might be B.

Thats a longer discussion and though megha is the best one to answer that question. I for one wouldnt look too much into the statement "I dont care for men.". I think in the context of rape, rape of men isnt that serious a problem.

vasu

Vasu the terrible said...

sorry the two tam dialouges are from a movie called "mannan" Rajni kanth, vijayashanthi and remade into hindi as "beta" starring anil kapoor.

it roughly translates into..

"Ponna madhikaravan dhan ambale..."
"One who respects a woman is man"

and

"ambaleku adangi porava dhan pombale"
"a woman is someone who is subservient to a man".

sorry bout that.

vasu

confused said...

Vasu,

Thanks.

Two points.

First, an element of gender is inevitable in a discssion about rape, it is not as you say it be only about it. First of all it is a crime. Of course, I agree that most of it is commited by men on women. So? The rapes you refer to-the ''power rapes'' form only a small part of the rapes which occur in our socities. Most of them are about men taking advantge of their position and commiting a crime, they are as likely to commit a robbery or such if they could be similarly placed in an advantageous position. You are confusing correlation with causation here.

Having said that, all this talk about being careful and such is a red herring. I know of no feminist friend of mine who goes walking at 3 o lock in the night alone, my point was to simply establish that there is nothing wrong in any advise to be careful however superflous it might. It was more of an academic position than anything else.

Interesting tid bit about the cinema stuff. Yes, such things can be influential but I would argue not for men, but more for the women.

Since I strongly believe in free speech, I am a little wary of advocating censorship.

best

Raindrop41 (Mycogen sector) said...

I agree with prathap.

It's not really a woman's FAULT if she gets raped, but she should definitely avoid the following- they just make it EASIER for her to get raped.
a)Getting drunk - self explanatory.
b)Being physically weaker than a guy - another no-no. What are karate classes for?
c)Being smaller than a guy- seriously, this doesn't help your case at all. Should've listened to mom when she told you drink up that milk.
d)Being young- the younger you are, the more vulnerable you are. Try to avoid it!

Aparna said...

God, Pratap, get a life!!!
Btw, what does 'desciple' mean? Did you mean 'decibel'? or desi-pell?

And when did cooking make anyone effeminate? I suppose most star hotels in India have male cooks? Or am I missing something here?