11/5/06

slimeballs, sex advice and universal idiocy

You know, I don’t read women’s magazines (err, I have displayed a weakness for glamour and nylon from time to time; only for the fashion though!) and I definitely stay away from the patriarchy 101 handbooks aka the men’s magazines, but there comes a time where I cannot ignore the blatant ludicrousness of some of the articles in the aforementioned men’s magazines, especially the cloyingly patronizing and male-ego stroking ‘sex tips’ they dole out to their readers (I pity you, you poor sods).

What really tickles my funny bone is the blatantly misogynist ‘sex advice’ parading under the shoddy cover of what women actually want from their partners during sex, when in reality its not about the women at all, its about pandering to the inner creepo-studmuffin which gives you a pretty decent picture of the male ideal which these magazines seem to wax eloquent about.

So when my friend sent me an article (gloriously titled 6 types of sex women enjoy) to brighten up my otherwise dreary Sunday, I balked and then my eyes flew open in an OMFGisthisforreal! kinda expression and then I laughed and laughed until I feared that I had contracted an aneurism from all that incessant laughter.

To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, let’s look at the first type, aptly titled seductive sex.

Chances are that your first few sexual encounters with your woman will revolve around seduction. In other words, you're going to do your damndest to charm her right into your bed.
Look deep into her eyes and "sensualize" the conversation in order to seduce her mind and get the sexual energy between you flowing.

Once you have her eating out of the palm of your hand, take her in your arms and kiss her. Lead her into the bedroom and slowly undress her. Lay her down and make love to her while keeping eye contact. Maintain a constant, steady pace and refrain from using too many sound effects. After all, you're the strong, silent type tonight.

This type of set-up is also good for when you've been together for a while and want to feel like the stud that you are, and want to remind her of that too.

Maybe I’ve been undersexed or my extremely emotional ‘female’ brain refuses to comprehend the seduce her mind bit. Pray, tell me how do you seduce a brain? And of course, it’s not too difficult to have the weak little woman eat out of the palm of your hand, just look into her eyes long enough and your superhuman powers of hypno-male-studliness will quell her virtuosity and din it into her seduced brain that you* are THE STUD tonight; after all she does want to be controlled, you’re just doing her a big favor by generously giving her what she wants. Uh-huh.

Let’s move on to type 3: Animalistic sex.

Grab her and kiss her hard, and rip each other's clothes off; it doesn't even matter if some of them stay on. Go ahead and do it doggy style on the living room floor, or prop her up on the kitchen counter if you so desire. Do it fast and hard.

Grab her hair by the roots, yell if you feel like it; just be sure to check your inhibitions at the door.

I’m not too concerned about the ‘rip the clothes’ part but I must say that I found the ‘go ahead and do it doggy style’ part ab-fucking-solutely hilarious. I mean they’re not even pretending that this article is about what kind of sex the woman enjoys! Oh no no no, fuck her in a position where YOU get the best view and the maximum pleasure! Because ultimately, all women have the deep seated need to slavishly pander to their man in whichever estimable way possible, right? Right?

Oh and I totally dig the subtle way in which men are represented as holding back their quivering inner Neanderthal, only to be unleashed by causing pain to their possession woman and by yelling unabashedly like the cavemen that they presume to be, because that’s SO what women want: simulated rape.

This one's quick and to the point; you want an orgasm and you want it now.
Yeah, let’s just completely ditch what we’ve been pretending to do throughout this article and expose ourselves for what we really mean by 6 types of sex women enjoy AKA its all about what YOU enjoy, studmuffins.

You can also get her to wear some sexy lingerie and do a little strip tease for you. She can be your naughty school girl, cowgirl, French maid; whatever turns you on.
Hooo! Because that’s what SHE strives for! Slavishly ceding to your needs! Make her strip for YOUR pleasure! Because you know, when a woman knows that she’s adept at pleasuring her man, that knowledge in itself should be able to turn her on! But of course! Who cares about actually taking the time to know her body? Who cares about taking their time with foreplay? Who cares about women having orgasms? What a load of crock! Now that you know that whatever turns you on is the type of sex your woman enjoys, go grab your woman and SHOW her who the boss is, I say!

You know, this article is such a load of bullshit that it’s offensive to anyone who reads it; man or woman. The whole premise of this article is based on the sole conjecture that women can be manipulated into giving men pleasure and in turn she automatically gets turned on by the power of his pleasure. In every ‘type’ of sex that women supposedly enjoy in this article, there’s not one mention of the clitoris, the vagina or any kind of stimulation which involves the pleasure.of.the.woman. By fraudulently using the ‘what women want’ tag, these articles actually teach their readers to inculcate in the women how to give them pleasure and that’s pretty much it.

Unless of course, if you actually want to persevere towards cultivating a libidinous-slimebally-pseudo-studmuffin kinda persona; then well, this article is right up your alley.

* Generic ‘you’ used throughout this post. Please for the love of all that’s living, if you actually take this post personally, I’ll unconditionally devote the next post to laughing at your pitiful ass. You stand warned.

61 comments:

Anonymous said...

But inside every demure woman is one that is just dying to be beaten up and have her hair pulled while donning a Batman costume or whatever else gets her guy off.. right?

You just haven't met the right guy yet.. I know loads of men who can show you the way. Just say the word.

Grafxgurl said...

ah my gad....i cant beleive people actually HIRE people to write this stuff!!

and HOW do they get approved i have no clue!!...yes its absolutely neanderthal even in its analysing abilities...if THIS is how people think ..then they'll never get out of the gutter....and then they sit and complain that us women are such COMPLICATED characters..

YEAH DUH! too complicated for dimwit men who think like this!!

Anonymous said...

I think you should elicit a pretty strong response to this article :)..

Anonymous said...

Megha, I read that article. The original not just the cleaverly edited portions you had posted.

I think you are way off the mark when you said that this article is written to stoke the male ego. First Let me post the sections that eluded your eagle eyes. "Accidentally" or maybe "conviniently".

____________________________________
romantic Sex
============
This type of sex is good for when you're both relaxed and not pressed for time, such as during a weekend getaway. It's time to enjoy the fact that neither of you has anything to do but enjoy each other's bodies.

Here's your chance to give her what she wants: a romantic setting and seemingly endless foreplay. Light candles, put on some sexy music (it's subjective), open up a bottle of Merlot, and caress all of her erogenous zones, including her thighs, butt, back, neck, soles of her feet, and breasts.

The ensuing sex should be slow and rhythmic, and allow both parties to enjoy every sensation to its fullest. Basically, it should feel like it's going in slow motion.

Don't forget, she also wants to get wild with you... Next >>

Type 4 - Passionate Sex
=======================
Perhaps you were away on business and haven't seen her for a week, or maybe you had a huge fight and need to make up; the point is you're burning with desire and you want to devour each other.

The resulting sex should be intense and deeply felt. Hold on to her body and make love to her like she's all the woman you could ever want or need.

Type 6 - Kinky Sex
==================
If you and your woman have been together for a while and trust each other, and are looking to spice things up, it may just be time to get kinky.

Get out the scarves and tie her hands behind her head or to the bedpost, and make her your slave. Or blindfold her and keep her guessing what you'll do next. Get your hands on some edible body paints and make her body your canvas. Tease her with a feather. Or shock her system with ice cubes or candle wax. Spank her.

You can also get her to wear some sexy lingerie and do a little strip tease for you. She can be your naughty school girl, cowgirl, French maid; whatever turns you on.

As long as you and your woman have compatible sex drives and a sense of adventure when it comes to your sexual escapades, you should be able to lead a mutually fulfilling sex life and prevent the flame from dying. Just remember to switch it up and spice it up.

_____________________________________

The fact is you are seeing this article with a prejudiced eye. You have pre-decided what you want to think about it. Its a thing we used to do as kids. Think of sex and read a dull daily mirror editorial on the "fortunes of the labour party". Magically the whole article would reek of sex and sexual innuendos.

This article is meant for a male reader and it is a very high level article on the theme "spice up your listless sex lives". The maximum graphical details it goes into is a line saying "touch her breasts, butt" etc. etc.

Obviously the writer Mellisa was a little too embaressed to get into the clitoris level details to the expectation of "Her highness megha". But then the author doesnt also talk about the penis level details. The author is surely guilty of sensational headlining and incomplete content, "stoking the male ego and pandering to the patriarchial maniacs ?" No. I think thats a little too harsh. isnt it ?

I was ticked to laughter at your condescension and discmofort with the concept of kinky sex. Its nothing wrong megha. The article doesent say, "Beat up a wife and force a nurse's uniform on her". The premise of this article is consent. If an adult female consents to role playing of a nurse with another consenting adult male, thats ok. and vice versa. Wonder what your views are about threesomes and gang bangs ? Are they male chauvenistic too ?

LOL @ megha

Senthil

Anonymous said...

What?? Women like sex too?

heh heh...

Only 6 types of sex? hmm ... obviously the guy who wrote this doesn't watch, erm, educational flims. What about `sex with your girlfriend while she has sex with her girlfriend'? What about `Alien sex'?

You always seem to attract so much hostility, you know. I wonder why...

Aishwarya said...

Batman costume sex!

sac said...

well.. the article is assuming all this is with a willing partner. as long as that caveat is maintained it's okay, no?
though agreed, the writer has indeed come up with some cheesy shite like the HypnoEyes..!

Twisted DNA said...

Nice find. That article is hilarious, almost as hilarious as Kamasutra. And you hit the nail on the head, the article seems to be less about "the sex women enjoy" and more about "the sex men enjoy but think women enjoys it too".

It's quite disgusting that the article suggests that pulling hair at the roots gives enjoyment to a common woman.

We men need to lose the "man is god" complex. Happiness in life will be achieved if we understand and treat our women equally in every respect, in life and in sex.

simmi said...

amusing how senthil does not at any point consider ur response (as a woman) valid

...no wonder that men are such twits at locating the damn clit

....or rather what makes the clit throb.

Preconcieved objectification is soo fucking boring...the nurse is glamourised because she is totally selfsacrificing, to the extent of wiping the bloody shit from ur arse...so, once u grow up (all u boys)and dare to be real men, we (femme's) might consider having real sex with u...not oedipal mummy sex....

urs in arms
towards the sexual crusade

Sriram said...

Senthil, Indira and other trolls...
Someone once said the following - "If you have enough monkeys banging randomly on typewriters, they will eventually type the works
of William Shakespeare."

The first time I read that, I laughed and I laughed, bringing up probability and all the other things I knew. Only after I stumble upon Senthil and Simmi (you two could make a pair!) that I realised that this might actually be possible. Infact, this applies to most trolls out here (read : anonymous dipshit cowardly commenters who take potshots, yes including you, Dr. Indira) If you can string together sentences, although, I'd have to say the monkeys might make better sense than all of you put together, Shakespeare might have something to worry about.

@ Megha,

A great one once said " Trolls are there for a reason. If trolls ever made sense, then we wouldn't be ourselves, would we?" (Ok, I accept it. I said it, but its true, ain't it?) And if ever there was an award for "The dumbest troll on the internet", I'm sure we would have more than a few nominations from your comment space.

confused said...

Amusing!

Szerelem said...

hmmmm they dont even mention woman on top!! idiots.

Anonymous said...

@sriram - Let me know where you live man.. I would love to be your neighbour and provide your wife with a strong masculine option when the nights go long and weary and she needs a hot stud to mount her.

This article was for people like you. Instead of scoffing at it, you must read it and make some changes. missionairy isnt everything.. be creative

senthil

hedonistic hobo said...

no one said missionary is everything senthilamma but you seem to have missed the point yourself. though frankly ginger megs, or rather i should say this ginerly, i don't mind a bit of hair pulling every now and then. sometimes slightly let's say, rambunctious sex is great but my greatest problem with this article is that THERE ARE MORE THAN 6 TYPES OF SEX WOMEN ENJOY and these biotches can't seem to wrap their heads around that notion!!!!! haha........ this is more like 6 different moods you're in and the stuff you can try. but you can't even begin any of this wthout a modicum of sexual comfort between the two partners, some level of trust, some level of affection and some level of awareness of each other's bodies and how to please them. especially when you bring in the toys. no? works for me thataways
disturbingly someone mentioned, i think it was senthilamma again, that this is supposed to be consensual sex. OF COURSE IT IS YOU MOFO!?!?! why would you make it a point to mention it separately you creepy twerpoid?
megha where and how do you find these people? btw bebe, there's a bit too much rage in this post, i understand that the article has serious riot potential and the ability to grate on one's nerves but hold on to your horses. as for seducing a brain, well i wouldn't necessarily articulate it in those terms but the woman's clit is in the mind. it's about being comfortable, feeling secure, feeling safe, feeling loved, as women we need very different stimuli to be enticed. sometimes stimulating conversation can turn you on to a guy or girl, no not dirty talk! but just very witty banter. it's called flirting. the article misses that of course. sigh.....to think some ppl might be taking notes even.

Anonymous said...

@hedonistic hobo - I guess you need a life. This is a light hearted read about getting variety in the sexual life of a couple.

Now the "6 ways to spice up your sex" is the author's prescription of pepping up the boring sex lives of most couples. But this by no means is he final frontier. Please be creative and try out different things.

Chicks dig dirty talking while having sex. I know it from first hand experience, infact some of them squeal when I call them "a whore". Now Its just sexual role playing and a little bit of adventure. There is nothing wrong with that. To be too touchy is dangerous. You wont get anything but a ma ka dhoodh peeneywaala bacha, who from time to time has to be reminded to pull his thumb out.

There are times when for voltair and plato conversation and there are times for kamathipura type conversation. Infact many women ask for dirty talking. It kicks my testosterone up when she says "Mother fucker rip me apart..." The orgasm is longer for her too. For once hobo, sriram and certainly megha you need to experiment.

Infact you can go one step further and try it in a parked car, elevator, a national park, on your terrace. A little bit of "someone may be watching me" or "I am going to get caught" will totally transform your sex lives. Try it out guys.

And please stop bringing feminism into consensual sex. Every where else its fine and I bow my head in utmost humility. just leave sex aside.

senthil

P.S.: I hope you are a woman, cos I dig woman who call me mama. Everytime you call me MoFo, I love it and feel like calling you my "sexy little slut". See you are already getting kinky... ;)

Anonymous said...

oh.. sorry, Experimentation is for people bored with their normal sex lives. Sriram with your current attitude you come out so sissy that even "bobby darling" would be put down.

Megha :D... It would be quiet a sight seeing you as a submissive slave, handcuffed and all. Are you into videos ? Give it a thought. There is nothing wrong, its actually healthy once you take certain basic precautions.

senthil

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

Face it, if you have to read a fuckwit article to know how to get your partner (male OR female) happy, you'd be better off seducing your own hand. Plus there would be no chance of your propagating your fuckwit genes.
So chill, Punkster. This is not about you.

Or you could just trot on over to Senthil's pad and watch him do his how-to-be-a-stud in five easy moves. Red undies an optional extra, don't throw away the pizza boxes because that's his real sex life.

M (tread softly upon) said...

LOL....the article and then some of the comments. Makes an entertaining read

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Jupe: I want batman sex! Really!

@ Grafx: I know eh? But if men actually take this article seriously, then you know how much 'action' they've been getting.

@ Artful badger: Ya think? Heh.

@ Senthil: First up, I really dont get the 'First Let me post the sections that eluded your eagle eyes. "Accidentally" or maybe conviniently' bit. If I really wanted to 'conveniently' elude certain bits or hide them, I wouldnt have provided a link to the article.

And congratulations. You are one of the forerunners for the 'clueless award of the year' for missing the tone and the point of the post entirely.

@ Ninja: I have no clue! I'm nice! You know that! Either way, as long as I have you around, I think I'm all set. ;)

@ Aishwarya: Imagine Dream of the Endless sex! *swoon*

@ Sac: As long as ANYTHING is consensual, I really dont care. But that was not the point I was making. Why call an article 'six types of sex women enjoy' when its not about the woman at all? If the article was called 'how to make your woman have sex with you, the way you want it' or something along those lines, then I wouldnt have even given it a second glance (laughed at it maybe). Although I do like the idea of batman sex! Hee!

@ Twisted DNA: Thanks DNA for getting the point of this post and for the reassurance. :)

@ Simmi: Whoa. Erm, care to be more coherent?

@ Sriram: The preparations for the 'clueless award of the year' are already under way. Send over the nominations please!

@ Confused: Isn't it? :P

@ Szerelem: Exactly! Isnt that like the most rudimentary position for the woman to orgasm easily? Dipshits.

@ Hedonistic hobo: Thanks a ton! And FYI, I'm never angry. Thats just the tone I always take while picking on something (or someone) or if I'm supremely amused. :D

Oh oh and did you see Senthil the stud asking us to experiment with sex? *guffaws*

@ Arthur Quiller Couch: Hello! And pfft, obviously it wasnt about me! Its as plain as day! And ROFL at how-to-be-a-stud in five easy moves. *dies*

@ m: Brilliant article, no?

Anonymous said...

Interesting read for sure. And I definitely do agree with you, Megha. The comment space on your posts always make for interesting reading. :)

Delhi's Deviant said...

how come most of yer posts seem to be about the most primal of human acts in all it's glory??

sac said...

sure, fair point. more than the writer (who interestingly is female - or then again, who knows) in this case the subeditor needs a whupping. the scrollover on the accompanying photo even says 'how to please women.' still presumptuous, but less pretentious.
by and large, on 9 out of 10 men's sites/mags, one is indeed more likely to find this sort of ego-pandering generic formula how-to article which has been around since papyrus reeds. i can only suppose it works for some people or they wouldn't keep rehashing it every other month!
like, i wish Esquire has more readers than Nuts, or The Guardian outsells The Sun, but heck.
and as for batsex, remember, it's not the costume - it's the car, chicks dig the car ;)

Anonymous said...

Look what I've gone and done... You bad girls.. curse you!

And if Prince Albert can get a stud on the cock named after him, I'd like a position named after me.. wait.. that sounded much better in my head.

p.s. I think Simmi's trying to say that costume sex (nurse and such) is overrated and rubbishy.. it makes sense actually :)

Anonymous said...

@megha - obviously you havent read the whole article. Thats why you posted sections which just suited you. You need to go to school and get an education.

I would love to say "pot calling the kettle black", but considering the total ignorance on sexuality and hedonism, I would say "whore calling a stud cheater".

Neway its quiet apparent that you havent seen the heights of sexual ecstasy as all your living waking moments ahve been spent on analysing issues on a feminist standpoint.
All hope however is not lost. The next time someone fucks you try talking politics, that might get you to cum.

Sissy men (a.k.a Sriram) and macho women (eunchs) are not meant to read the article. It was meant for the readers of askmen. In other words studs. Confident, charismatic and virile.

@Drops of jupiter - clearly you have never adorned the starched white dress of a nurse. Try it out once and then talk about it being overrated. Whats your size ? I can ask my gal to donate a second hand (washed) pair. Anything to open your eyes to sexual nirvana :). suggestion: Use a little disinfectant for that authentic hospital smell. And remember stains show up on white nurse uniforms. Just in case you decide to go out in the public with that uniform.

@arthur - Let me know when megha would come to my pad for watching it. I love it when someone stands by watching. Especially when I tie up my slave girlfriend and bitchslap her ass. Cant gaurentee however that the heat inside the room wouldnt draw some participation/intervention from megha. As they say, more the merrier :D.

As for the pizza boxes. Will take your word for it. Especially when its advise from an expert on pizza boxes. So how is it you are stuck at pizza boxes ? Dont you guys have a club or association where everyone gets to hang out, talk sissy and hook up with other guys ? Stay out of this arthur, this is a heterosexual blog post.

senthil

Anonymous said...

All hail Senthil, great guru of sex advice.

With no due respect whatsoever, Senthil..

Firstly, who needs sex advice from a guy named Senthil?
Secondly, who needs ANY advice from a guy named Senthil? Oh boy, School must have be so hard on you..*guffaw*

I hope you and your 'gal' have a hearty and happy sex life with cheap costumes, disinfectants and presumably loads of alcohol (because anyone having sex with you would needs buckets of it).

And wow, thank you for the handy laundry tip (althought it's not so much of a tip as it is a blatantly stupid statement of fact).. were you doing lines of detergent when you wrote this?

And no darling, you'd be misguided if you thought I needed a costume to spice things up. Tut Tut.

hedonistic hobo said...

@Senthil: I said Amma. But it's ok we already know how well you read into things. Hahaha.....idiot. That got you off no?

@Megha: Why is it that your blog manages to attract such scum as well? Where's Dr. Indira this time round? And who was the other idiot? Nowwhatwashisname? Pranav? Or some such.

simmi said...

thank you Drops of Jupiter, Im happy i dont have to spell it out to everyone.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Swapna: Ha ha, i know what you mean.

@ Delhi's deviant: Hmmm?

@ Sac: I dig the costume too! Although the car hits the stratosphere of coolness.

@ Senthil: Sissy men (a.k.a Sriram) and macho women (eunchs) are not meant to read the article. It was meant for the readers of askmen. In other words studs. Confident, charismatic and virile.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Blind moronism at its best, I tell you.

@ Hedonistic hobo: You know, I'm like flypaper for weirdos or something. :(

@ Simmi: My apologies, for not understanding you earlier.

Anonymous said...

nice....
(thats the only word I can think of..... hahaha)
Megha, u definitely have a knack of starting a controversial discussion :P

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Sridhar: You know, I dont mean to start a controversy or anything man, its just my dumb luck. *sniff*

hedonistic hobo said...

@megha: please no 'sniff sniff'. this is fun.

the only people who should be 'sniff sniff' are republicans and k-fed(up). 7th nov is henceforth to be known as vanquishing vhite trash day.

Madame Mahima said...

hahahha this is too funny...screw the article, the comments are hilarious!
i was just thinking..could you imagine if a dude kept pulling your hair everytime you had sex, you'd prob end up frikkin bald!

christ..what is with the troll giving us Too Much Info?

aww babe...dont let the trolls get to u...even if you did a post on mother teresa you'd still have them spouting crap..they just need an excuse.

ps- LOVE THE NEW DEATH PICTURE!!!!! im on the last comic and im sad :( im actually sad that i'll be done soon

rajan said...

u hv nt chngd or corrected urself i see. u tlk of sex like u r a big sex champion. ctrl urself.

rajan said...

ur chamchas hv nt changed also. hobo nd srirm still suprt u even if u r totaly wrong.

rajan said...

ths article is fer ppl needing help. wht is wrong with dat? whn ur sick u go to doctor same way ppl hving probs will read ths article nd it will be hlpful. now u r not fer women as u dnt like article whch helps women, thn why call urself a femnist.

Anonymous said...

dnt tak me wrongly fer my advice is fer ur own gud.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Jupe: I'm so damn sorry! *wails*

I owe you a BIG THANK YOU for having my back and an apology for overlooking your comment. It really wont happen again. :)

Anonymous said...

megha - instead of criticising others, can you tell us what you would like, including graphic description of yourself and your body ?

Or are you a fake liberal ?

Lets know your sex mantra ? If you have none, just cock up and stop criticising others who have.

Honestly, you should consider roleplaying a slave, nurse, or an officer beaten to submission by a dungeon lord.

You got to get your sloppy tushy whooped back to shape.

senthil

Anonymous said...

Achoooo... thnx swity..dat s no big deal. Mistks happ- thr s nuthn wrong wit dat.

:D

ps. tis v hard not to laff whn typn tis.

hedonistic hobo said...

@meghaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: rajan is back. yay! so the 7th of nov didn't get rid of all genetic garbage! then again he isn't Verily Vhite Trash. he isn't vhite......

Szerelem said...

oh dear lord....with rajan and senthil its like a fucks of the world unite session.....

Aishwarya said...

...okay, so now Rajan's calling Megha an uncontrolled sex addict and Senthil's calling her a prude?

My weak feminine mind is confuzzled. :(

Anonymous said...

As stereotypical and stupid as this alphamalemagazinestuff might sound, it's not random. It actually works. Works with the best of them. Women are generally (again - the best and smartest of them) delusional and don't really know what they want. They're mindless, confused, morphable, impressionable gorgeous creatures.

The trick is getting a woman to like you. If she likes you, anything goes. If she doesn't - you can try till your balls hurt - nothing will work.

http://www.womenarebetterthanmen.com

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Hobo: I know! Like 7th nov has been the best day of the year by FAR for vanquishing vhite trash! And I usually dont let the trolls get to me or anything, but sometimes you cant help but wonder at their collective troll moronism, no?

@ Mahi: I'm glad you like the picture! I've actually put the link on my sidebar(where I got the picture from) So if you want, you can go check out the artist's Deviant Art profile!

@ Rajan: I am filled with admiration at your talent for systematically destroying the english language.

Words fail me.

@ Senthil:
Honestly, you should consider roleplaying a slave, nurse, or an officer beaten to submission by a dungeon lord.


Wow, I think someone hasn't been getting any for a l.o.n.g time.

@ Jupe: How do you do it? :D

@ Hobo: I'll give you chocolate if you can decipher Rajan's comments. Really. Although I did get the 'sex champion' part. LOL!

@ Szerelem: Rajan calls me a whore. Senthil calls me a prude.
What is a woman supposed to do when faced with such complexities? *wail*

@ Aishwarya: Thats exactly my problem. Our emotional feminine brains cannot handle such paradoxes.

@ Mediocretes: They're mindless, confused, morphable, impressionable gorgeous creatures.

Words fail me. And its not in a good way.

Rohini said...

words fail me - your comments sections gets crazier every time!

Anonymous said...

Your problem is either of these.

You had/have a impotend boyfriend.

or

You, Being a slut, you jus get guys who fuck you for their pleasure.

So next time Try having sex with ur loved one.
(Is this post a invitation for guys who can fuck u as u like it?)...
ha ha ha ha

Arun

Anonymous said...

I read the article and laughed my head off!
Your post was very well written, no BSing, straight to the point. You go, gal!!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Rohini: I know, it takes me by surprise, every time.

@ Kroopa: Hullo! And thank you!

Deepti said...

Hello Megha,

I like your blog, even though I don't always agree with what you say :)

I think both women and men's magazines are full of crap...I love how you ruthlessly tear through the article.

I just wanted to say that doggie style is quite pleasurable to the woman. Definitely not when being 'taken' by an insensitive jerk who reads crap magazines, but when making love to someone you love, it's really good. It's one of the few easy positions that stimulates the G-spot allowing orgasm during intercourse. Even role play and bondage (I like tying up my boyfriend!) is fun when both parties enjoy it.

This is through personal experience and here's an internet reference: http://www.gspotcenter.com/positions/partner

Cheers!
(and sorry about the lack of a blogger account)

Deepti

whitelight said...

you listen to great music

Grafx said...

oooh nice new look!!! very Goth~!

Anonymous said...

Lurve ve new look!! Really, luurrrve it!!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MISSquoted** said...

you just got unlucky milady...
i often chance upon some pretty ruthless and orgasmic[for want of a better word] discourses on intense foreplay, women-intensive[and interested] positions et al...

u just got unlucky, and a good laugh!

Anonymous said...

for chocolate zivania would have you believe i will do very many things. :)
anywhoo sorry about the comment goof up, i publish all comments so dunno where yours disappeared to.

scudie said...

Great post.. Absolutely love the way you prevent anyone else from responding in kind to your rant by mentioning right at the top of your post that you dont read women's magazines..

Anonymous said...

Hey...your comments page is turning far more interesting than you posts. *not to say that your posts aren't interesting, just that the comments seem to be getting funner and funner*.

Oh this is so much fun.. and yeah, i lurve the new look too!

Achtlandia said...

ohmigawd! now there's a post i can comment on!

which is: lollollollollol

at the comments section. and all the men who think who know better. and they always think they know better! its a scream. as funny as saas-bahu serials.

can't someone tell them to look away if they don't like it?

can't someone tell them to forget sex and work on their grammar?

and which one are you? sex addict or delicate virgin?

and agn, lollollollollol. love your blog.

sarah said...

i think i died when i read this:

"It was meant for the readers of askmen. In other words studs. Confident, charismatic and virile."

i've had some trolls on my site but this guy just kills them all. i wish he had left some sort of contact address, cause i'd LOVE to get him visiting my blog (just so i can tear him a new asshole), he's so fucking awesome.

loved the post especially since i hate such articles. you're right, there's never any mention of clitoral stimulation or anything that would ACTUALLY make us orgasm. and any article that recommends that men pull a woman's hair is retarded. goes to show how many men read and believe this crap though, because so many of them try this shit out in bed (and risk losing their genitals because seriously, this hair pulling, dirty talk, spanking while calling her a whore crap ONLY works in porn, unless the woman has the lowest self-esteem on earth or he has the smallest dick and she needs a distraction).