12/25/06

perspectives, part 1

This blog has largely been a feminist blog, and most of my posts have been about women’s issues and so on and so forth. This is in all probability the first post I have written where I have stolidly picked apart women. Or certain kinds of desi women who go to phoren lands to study. The operative words here being certain kinds of desi women, not all.

I write this post principally from personal experiences and I have been distressed and befuddled by the attitudes I have individualized in this post. I have piteously been on the receiving end of such behavior time and time again and I am quite plainly, sick of it. I have racked my brains as to why these women behave in the way they do and I know that it stems from a deep seated fear of something. Fear of what exactly? I don’t know. But I sure as hell want to find out. And I refuse to stomach retarded comments from random self appointed bastions of all things feminism AKA pompous dipshits, along the lines of “you have violated the cardinal rules of feminism and you must be such a hoebag blah blah”. I had to act on an overpowering urge to vent and get this out of my system. If I don’t do that I am not being honest with myself and I cannot function without being honest with myself. So there.

And men are SO NOT off the hook. I am making this a series and the next post will be solely reserved for the men. You didn’t think I’d write about insidious desi attitudes and NOT dedicate a post (or posts) to the men, did you?

Anyway, let’s get on with it.

Dear desi-woman-from-the-motherland,

I respect the fact that you have taken the trouble to come to a phoren land to study. I know it must have been a trifle hard to break away from the extremely cloistered or at least pampered-to-an-extent (I assume) type of environment you must have come from in India.

I try to understand you. I really do. But try as I might I cannot fathom the complexities of your ever varied personalities, and most importantly your determination in squishing your real self into the bowels of your being and not letting it out even if your whole life depended on it. Why is that? Why is it that you work so hard at maintaining such terrific levels of hypocrisy with all your peers, even the ones who genuinely care for you and want to understand you? Does this stem from a nameless fear of not being accepted by other desi folk? Or is it a fear of not being looked upon as a so called good, pure, traditional desi woman? Do you seriously think that if you actually stand up for yourself, somehow, somewhere in our ever pervasive desi society (cough), you will be considered fallen?

So what I am going to do is to try and deconstruct you. I am going to try and pick at your idiosyncrasies with as much effort as I can muster. I may be wrong, but I will plough on anyway. And yes, no hard feelings. Snort.

1. It is time to stop dressing like a homeless dirtbag. I don’t know where you get your fashion choices from but I do know that wearing clothes your OWN damn size is NOT a fashion choice. That’s basic eye to brain co-ordination. Which you woefully DON’T seem to have the grasp of. And please tell me why do you possess this pervasive urge to shop for winter wear in the men’s department? Do you think that women enjoy the soothing effects of frostbite? Don’t you think that women want to keep themselves warm too? Open your eyes and look for the women’s department in a clothing store, for the love of god.

2. Yes, I know you like to have guy friends. Everyone does. And I totally respect that. But I am astounded at the sheer amount of travails you put yourself through to keep them. Like cooking for a bunch of drunken guys at 4 A.M. Or preparing food for 50 desi guys for one of your male friend’s parties which you are NOT INVITED to, because of some fuckwit reason like oh guys drink and stuff and what place does a girl have there. Or going to their apartments and cleaning it for them/doing their laundry/doing their dishes. Or buying stuff for your guy friends every single time you go shopping for yourself even when they evidently don’t reciprocate your generosity. Well, I’ll stop here, you must get the picture. So my all encompassing question is, w.h.y? Why this slavish pandering?

3. Everyone has their own set of principles. Hell, I do too! But if your ‘principles’ are based solely on what desi guys will supposedly think, then you have a behemothic problem. That crap about how it’s not lady like to say you need to go to the restroom when you are with desi guys because oh-they-don’t-like-that and you might as well wait for your bladder to fusillade, is utter and banal horseshit. Please woman, grow a backbone and empty your bladder already.*

4. Is it really necessary to call at least five of your guy friends to join you for every single unimportant activity? Is one bag of potatoes really that heavy? Can’t you carry a gallon of milk and a few other things by yourself? If you really are so frail as to break a bone while carrying a bag of onions or whatever, why can’t you call one of your roommates? Surely between you and your roommate, you could manage a bag of onions just fine. And why do you possess this perplexing fear of walking alone? Surely you must have walked alone in India. I really don’t think that you will get mugged, shot at, or raped while walking one measly block from your department building to your apartment complex. And even if you do possess a vague fear of walking alone, do you really need a battalion of desi men to escort you home? Really? Do you? Or is there something beneath the surface that I am missing?

5. You love to let loose your vast reserves of knowledge on sati savithiri-ism and unsullied chastity-ism to your unsuspecting minions (ahem). I can perceive that. But why do you try to force your ‘tips’ on people who are utterly disinterested in the way you function? I did not ask for you to advice me on how I should behave in front of desi guys in order for them to WANT to be friends with me. I abhor the fact that you are immensely judgmental and nitpicky about every single action of mine, while all I do is try to ignore your silliness and your foolish pandering to your desi guy friends. I will not listen to one more tedious sermon on how ‘Indian women should not swear/wear low rise jeans/wear sleeve-less clothing/laugh loudly/insert other horseshit here as they will be called whores otherwise’ or ‘how drinking is a veritable sin against humankind and it is so NOT lady like and the desi guys will spit on you if they found out’ while it is completely A-ok and fine for you to surreptitiously smoke in the restroom or drink furtively within the four walls of your own apartment, while constantly complaining that it’s because of people like me that you have fallen from your lofty pedestal of virtuousness. Please, get the fuck over it and enjoy yourself already.

6. Lesson time. Let’s see, what’s one of the most cardinal tenets of dating 101? DON’T introduce your boyfriend or the guy you have been briefly dating as your cousin, your brother, your rakhi brother (har har I can SO see through that one) or any other relative related to you by blood or otherwise. Why do you actively indulge in this fucking creepfest? It is utterly repugnant and nauseating that you would rather call the guy whose throat you have been sticking your tongue into, your fucking brother, instead of admitting that you have.been.dating. Oh wait, your name and your p-u-r-i-t-y in the university’s desi community will be tarnished, and isn’t that your whole purpose of existence? How daft of me, to not comprehend the bigger picture. Tsk tsk.

Addendum: This post is based on eye witness accounts (mine and many others), real experiences, being at the receiving end of countless culture and purity sermons, fights, many a late night conversation, prudery on several levels, perversion and double standards.

[Deep breath]

And I’m done.

And now you must head over to Jupe's blog for her take on the desi men.

You m-u-s-t.

* This was an actual incident. Really.

---X---

B.a.c.k.

Yello people!

After exiling myself from the trappings of modern living for over a week, it feels good to unabashedly admit that I am addicted to every aspect of technology. Woo!

Didja have a great holiday?

62 comments:

Sriram said...

Somehow, a lot of those seem familiar... a little TOO familiar ;)

aradhana said...

merry christmas everyone! :D

Anonymous said...

Can connect with most part of it..


hypocrites to the core... not jus in a poren land dear.. oh god its still hard in the desi land..

Anonymous said...

OK i might invite the wrath of a lot of people with this, but sometimes i feel that it's the weirdos of our country who go abroad (there are exceptions ofcourse:)) and the "normal" indians are still here.

very often i find that people who've left india try really desperately to cling on to so-called indian values and traditions, while the ones back home are going through the regular evolution every society goes through.

actually i feel sorry for people who find themselves stuck between two drastically different cultures. i guess it becomes hard to really find the true you in the midst of all the confusion.

maybe they should take your advice and then they'll get a little closer to embracing the real person within!

and hey, happy new year and all that! have a great time!!

Anonymous said...

hahahaha. I've often maintained this theory about people who end up abroad to work or study.

In India, all the not-too-weird aka normal people who are into music, art et al and are actually able to think rationally - on par with their counterparts across the world - become so either because of having enlightened parents who actually encourage extra academic stuff, or by just not giving a shit about who thinks what.

a lot of them don't end up taking the common route to engineering or medicine, and go into things like commerce, econ, media, art et al. and chances are, that they start working in their field of interest right after college. job opportunities have been great for a majority, which probably accounts for cities like Bangalore and Mumbai/Delhi having such large populations of people who would classify as normal. there are also people who don't necessarily accept norms without making sure that they completely agree with the rationale behind them.

otoh, a majority who have only done academics and always considered themselves uncool and looked at these artsy types as those having more fun - end up getting higher degrees from abroad and mostly settling there. The latter population has little or no inkling of things outside of a close knit circle of friends who're just like them, and have a very provincial view of things. which is why we have the great indian attitude problem.

exceptions abound as usual, but don't flame me. i'm entitled to my own opinions and theories, after all. no? :)

Seasons Greetings to all!

PS, who's McGermy?

Anonymous said...

did i already mention that i blogrolled you? hope thats ok.

McGermy said...

First, a merry christmas and a happy new year to all. Now that we've gotten that out of the way..

Who is McGermy? McGermy happens to be a pirate. The Punkster may/may not explain the origins, but in any case, I'll leave it to her. For now, I'm deputising for the punkster, as she is away for the holidays. In other words, I've taken over this place, for now. (This statement means the owner of this blog might make me walk the plank.. but that is for later!)

@ Sriram,
Right. We know EXACTLY what you mean.

@ Aradhana,
We wish you the same as well. And a Happy New year in advance.

@Anon,
*shudder* Isn't any place safe from these types?

@That girl in pink,
I doubt the fact that these hypocrites "cling" on to indian values. The sad part is that they don't "believe" in those values that they "preach", which is where this whole thing really reeks. Hyprocrites are a little different from weirdos and I'm sure you know the difference.

And a happy new year to you as well.

@ that armchair philosopher,
Boy-o, your so called "theory" is full of B.S. And can you get anymore condescending? I think not. Talk about misguided missiles...

Honestly, I have so much to say to you purely because you are wrong on so many levels. I'll consider three main "points" you make (Lord! I hate even calling them points!):


1. "In India, all the not-too-weird aka normal people who are into music, art et al and are actually able to think rationally - on par with their counterparts across the world - become so either because of having enlightened parents whoactually encourage extra academic stuff, or by just not giving a shit about who thinks what." - What are you on about? Clearly, you have NO idea of what you are talking about. So, if I read your "theory" right, you imply that the ones who take up engineering or medicine are "uncool" and worse yet, they take it up because they are forced into it. Wow. And I mean WOW!

2. "a majority who have only done academics and always considered themselves uncool and looked at these artsy types as those having more fun - end up getting higher degrees from abroad and mostly settling there. The latter population has little or no inkling of things outside of a close knit circle of friends who're just like them, and have a very provincial view of things. which is why we have the great indian attitude problem." - Right. And every person who does his/her Masters degree wears glasses, has no dress sense and can compute finite integrals without a calculator. You might want to get out of that rock you are under and wake up to the world!

3. "job opportunities have been great for a majority, which probably accounts for cities like Bangalore and Mumbai/Delhi having such large populations of people who would classify as normal. there are also people who don't necessarily accept norms without making sure that they completely agree with the rationale behind them." - ROFLMAO, ROFLCOPTER!!!one1!!1! I'm speechless! What this has anything to do with the post, I don't know and I've re-read that particular line five times. It still doesn't make ANY sense.


Talk about missing the entire point here.. We are talking about women who do something, turn right around and PREACH to the world that doing those exact same things is wrong and un-Indian. That seems to have sailed right over your head.

You seem to have missed Chennai/Madras and Hyderabad out of those cities you mention. Is that because those cities have savages or is there a particular reason for you leaving these two cities out? (Inquisitive folk wish to know.)

Oh, and out of curiosity, did you go for an engineering/medicine degree or an arts/science/commerce one?

It is one thing to have holes in a theory but it is an entirely different thing to call big hole, with bullshit thrown in for good measure, as a theory. You are entitled to your opinions,however ridiculous they might be, but if it is full of B.S, expect people to call you out on that.

Anonymous said...

Right. I have over-generalized a bit, based on what are probably biased views based on my own observations. I guess I shouldn't have. But hey - its something which struck me, and I never said that it was RIGHT or that I'm going to preach it to the world. :) Its just something I assumed, and brought out into the open - for people to point out holes in it and possibly clear my own myopic views of things. I'm not omniscient you know - I don't presume to know shit about everything. condescending - hell no. it wasnt mean to come out that way.

- First point : WTF? When did I mention engineering in that statement? Don't read the entire post and then generalize. Each of those points are individually outlined, not otherwise. Music and art "ET AL" as INTERESTS. et al is a big wide all-encompassing phrase. the interests part is applicable to people who do engineering or medicine or art or commerce or econ or whatever. wouldnt you agree that people who maintain a broader interest in things than just having buried their heads in academic books are generally better rounded? that they are more likely to entertain broader outlooks towards things based on the fact that they've been exposed to different ways of thinking, than would someone whose sole guiding light might be a well meaning but ultra-orthodox parent? or am I completely missing the point here?

" We are talking about women who do something, turn right around and PREACH to the world that doing those exact same things is wrong and un-Indian" - I think I get that fine. my question was - why do they do it?

- Thats the over generalization I'm talking about. I'm wrong there. There ARE then people who are not of the same mould - I guess I probably haven't met enough of them then. Pity. As for your question on what I did - I'm into engineering, but I lean towards psychology, and neuroscience. on the other hand, i'm a musician and i do political analysis. what does that make me? very confused.

- yes yes, i did mean all the other cities - chennai/madras, hybd, et al - pune too, while you're at it. calcutta?

you're right - theory is probably not the right word for it. rant? personal opinion? anyway, as for why this point was made - it was the provincial way of thinking by a number of people, punkster points out [sic]"vast reserves of knowledge on sati savithiri-ism and unsullied chastity-ism ". and a thought that maybe this was a possible explanation for it. do i stand corrected? in which case, what would *you* say is the reason for these attitudes?

--T.A.P

McGermy said...

"a lot of them don't end up taking the common route to engineering or medicine, and go into things like commerce, econ, media, art et al. and chances are, that they start working in their field of interest right after college."

Funny, but that was from your first comment and those were, by sheer and utter chance, the lines that follow my quote on the first point.

"the interests part is applicable to people who do engineering or medicine or art or commerce or econ or whatever." clearly, THAT isn't what you meant in that first comment. And brilliant argument about using "et. al." No, Really.

Either you have a terrible case of schizophrenia or you just made the biggest U-Turn I've seen someone make. Nothing wrong in accepting one's errors.

"wouldnt you agree that people who maintain a broader interest in things than just having buried their heads in academic books are generally better rounded? that they are more likely to entertain broader outlooks towards things based on the fact that they've been exposed to different ways of thinking, than would someone whose sole guiding light might be a well meaning but ultra-orthodox parent?" Why oh why the fuck do you need to assume that people who have their heads buried in academics can't have a broader view of things? And what if the parents are ultra-liberal and yet, the kid has a fucked up view of things? Don't fucking say something stupid and continue to defend it. And yes, you missed the point by a country mile.

As for why they do it, that is purely because they want to be seen as "sati, savitris", if you get what I mean. All they care about is their "reputation" among friends or a certain bunch of folk. Hope that answers your question.

Anonymous said...

haha. i'm not backtracking or trying to defend much at all - as i said above, my argument seems to be wrong, and i accept that i am fucking _wrong_ - to put it eloquently.

"Why oh why the fuck do you need to assume that people who have their heads buried in academics can't have a broader view of things?"

thats not an assumption. its what i've seen. its an observation. a flawed one perhaps, but still an observation.

"clearly, THAT isn't what you meant in that first comment. And brilliant argument about using "et. al." No, Really."

Why *thank you*.

"And what if the parents are ultra-liberal and yet, the kid has a fucked up view of things?"

good point, never did think of it that way. but thats not too common, imho.

TAP

sheriff said...

yeh videsi memsaab to jhakkas likhti hai...second time on ur blog...read many of the post...i simply enjoyed reading them

on the post...is it cultural confusion which leads to this behaviour??...maybe we cant even call it cultural confusion...coz lot of these Indian values they are carrying in their mind are juss perceived

BTW why do u gals bitch so much...i know i had it...lol

Ideasmith said...

Ooh, you've really shot it off, haven't you? Or perhaps I'm just shocked since it hits out at women for a change. I don't really know too many of the phoren types so I can't comment so I'll just say....good post, thanks for a balanced viewpoint. And oh...happy new year!

Anonymous said...

Part of your 5th point says "But why do you try to force your ‘tips’ on people who are utterly disinterested in the way you function?"..Am jus puttin the same question against U.
Some Part says "I did not ask for you to advice me on how I should behave in front of desi guys in order for them to WANT to be friends with me"...So u jus talkin abt the girls who adviced u on how u shud behave with desi guys?.
So u mean, U r so perfect to advice desi girls here?And i dont mean anywhr that desi girls are so perfect.Wr u the same when u stayed in india or jus changed after comin here?u drink? wear low waist? in india?

anonymouse said...

How much of that behaviour is "PR" type stuff? As in, they think themselves to be flagbearers of Indian culture and want to show that their "traditional" values are better than the ones of the place they are staying in. A "we are doing you a favour by coming over and showing you our great culture" type of thing? Possibly caused by a backlash due to an inferiority complex (Seeing that the western countries are so far advanced in comparison with India in terms of technology and finance available to the user, we can't accept their being better than us?). We are poor, but we have a culture so we are superior types? A sort of holier-than-thou attitude?

And the punkster is puncturing their nice, cozy world, simply by being what she is. To them, she should be "one of us", but she behaves like "one of them", and that little conflict makes them go crazy?

The anonymous poster before me:
This is the punkster's playground. I didn't notice her advising anyone, she is ranting about teh tupid in her blog. Big difference.

Nandini said...

the arguement in the comment box went over my head, am i the only stupid person here...

btw the desi girls you mention in your post punkstar and mcgermy come to india in vacations etc and then tell us how we 'natives' know nothing about jeans, food, relationships, morality etc etc
they become the experts in everything and everything that poor unfortunate 'us' who in their warped world, 'get left behind' do everything wrong...
good to know what they are like abroad...
reminds me of a hindi saying
'dhobi ka kutta, na ghar ka na ghaat ka'

Anonymous said...

Wats wrong being an Indian in the country we live?. There is no hard rule that we shud adopt ourselves to their culture.Am not askin u to use ur hand for eatin noodles.But when u feel comfort eatin in hand why cant u do that?.Live for ourselves and i hope most do that.If u girls want to have sex,masturbate,drink,smoke then do it.Dont try to justify ur actions on this post.Right or wrong do it and dont bother abt the ppl who say its wrong.(cuz everybody has the right to comment like u do on desi guys and girls).And so i have the right to comment on megha(punkster).You need to watch on ur track.Readin all ur posts i guess u were nicer in india than here.

McGermy said...

@ Sheriff,
Refer to my previous comment for my reasoning.

@ ideasmith,
Well, honestly, the punkster isn't an anti-men person. ANd if you haven't met any of these particular phoren types, fear not, you aren't missing anything at all.

@ Anon,
Where do I even begin? Quote a line from the post that you see as advice. Really. There's a difference between pointing out hypocrisy and advice. Infact, that is a huge fucking gap. First, know what you are talking about before spouting shit. And for some reason, I just feel the entire post sailed right over your head. Oh, I know why. "So u jus talkin abt the girls who adviced u on how u shud behave with desi guys?." By the way, do you INTEND to be funny or do you just come across that way naturally?

@ anonymouse,
"How much of that behaviour is "PR" type stuff? " Talk about hitting the nail on the head! That is what it is all about. The fucking hypocrisy of it all.

@ Nandini,
I feel your pain. I really do! As to what sailed over your head, do elaborate and I'll see if I can explain this.

@ Anon 2,
I kinda like you, because you seem to have the hang of grammar and so, I'll be nice to you. However, you are still confused about the point of the post. It isn't about what is right or wrong and no one is being judged. It is about doing something, say like drinking, and then turning right around and advicing other people that it is wrong to drink and it is very un-Indian. Do you get the point now? This isn't a post against "indian culture" or whatever you call it, but rather, against hypocrites. Get. the. point?

Anonymous said...

I loved it and you are right.
My favourite rants-
1.*Most desi gals cannot pull off leather jackets. But they are present everywhere (fur lined mind you). With looongg tight braids and bindis no less.
2.Losing weight just to get a guy. If you are in a long term relationship your grooming, weight can actually go to hell. WTF?
3.Cooking for the guys is something I don't get either. 4.Admitting to having a relationship...had a roomie who called her boy friend a cousin.WHY?
5.Pretending to blush at dirty jokes but secretly enjoying them.

Filthy hipocrites?

Anonymous said...

Megha! Yayy..this is so much fun.. Ooh la la..the incoherence of the moderatists, the culture police, the name-calling.. I am finding it teh amusing!

McGermy, marry me?

Anonymous said...

mcgermy,
pliss tell me that the punkster made up this bladder thing while she was under-the-influence..All others I've heard but this one is unbelievable.

suraj said...

R u ppl lesbians? ROFL ..just asking.

Rohini said...

What! You have got to be making this up. I don't know women like this in India. Is this their attempt to wear their 'Indianness' on their sleeve?

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year, punklady. Have a good one:) You might want to read this

McGermy said...

@ La vida loca,
Agree with all 5 points! Hypocrisy it is.

@ Jupe,
Highly amusing indeed. I'm sure the punkster would agree. Marry you? Hmm... pirates have a code, you know.. Oh the hell with that... sure. :D ;)

@ Vidya,
I wish! And no. She didn't make it up. 100% true life incident.

@ Suraj,
OMG!! ROFLCOPTER !!!!one1!!1 innit? LOLZ OMG.. you is ghey? Just asking.

@ Rohini,
Lucky you! We see these types almost every day.

@ Nevermind,
A Happy new year to you too. The Punkster wishes you the same.

Suraj said...

"you is ghey?"..that waz a nice try and not working,Give it again.
By the way are u girls really lesbians!!!!!!!!.This time am pretty serious:(

MumbaiGirl said...

I don't think she made up the bladder thing. I've seen someone else doing the same...

exclusively_me said...

So many girls out there pretend like they need a guy as a crutch for every little thing
... And we continue to expect men to throw away their chauvinism.....

anonymouse said...

Suraj, how is that even relevant? Unless you are trying to make an ad-hominen attack.

Vincent said...

Oh how I'd like to see a man's take on Dear desi-woman-from-the-motherland...
I'm guessing it would be equally hilarious on so many different levels.

McGermy said...

@ Suraj,
Really. Try harder. I'm a dude. Not a dudette. And I have a special interest in "ghey" trolls like you. Please don't go. We love you and we don't care if you are grammatically challenged or even mentally challenged.

@ mumbaigirl,
right you are. She didn't make it up.

@ exclusively_me,
That my friend, shouldn't be an excuse for chauvinism, but I do see your point. Just because of a few (i hope) expecting their guys to act as crutches for them, it doesn't mean the guys have to be chauvinistic.

P.S : If I don't make sense, the punkster knows why I'm rambling like a drunk. (You hear that missy? Where's the payment?)

@ anonymouse,
Suraj is a troll. Doesn't that say everything? ;)

@ Vincent,
I'm sure it wouldn't be much different from these views. Believe me. I know.

anonymouse said...

McGermy, I know better trolls than this.

Come to think of it, Suraj isn't even worthy of being called a troll. Even I can troll better than that.

On third thoughts, perhaps Suraj should be subjected to Tubgirl and Goatse.

my life.... said...

ya i agree that there are some girls out there who have boyfrenz but when caught in the hand sof parents, they intro them as brothers or watever... yucks! i have personally came across such gals b4...and there are some gals who would go to the extent of spending much $ on grooming trying to get themselves boyfrenz... after all , beauty is skin deep... there is this fren of mine who goes to doc even there is a slight outburst of pimples...its quite ridiculous of how some gals potray their character in a deceptive facade fashion

drops of jupiter said...

It's funny how this Suraj keeps accusing someone (we don't know who) of being lesbians..like it is such a terrible thing.

"You're a lesbian!"
Really? You're an idiot!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

And look who's back.

@ Anonymouse: I skimmed over all the comments and I have to agree with you. Suraj is unworthy of the 'troll' status. He could be a tame gnome. But a troll? Nah.

@ My life: It all boils down to conditioning. These girls are raised to be little Sati savithri's with their parents constantly berating them for talking to men or even interacting with them. So I kinda think they lie as if on autopilot, because thats all they know i.e. hypocrisy. They dont see it as hypocrisy, they think its simply necessary to be that way to survive in an all pervasive desi society.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Jupe: HALLO! And I'm back! * hug *

And poor Suraj. Why pick on the lowly gnome (I refuse to call him troll)? His level of moronism is to be envied yo, not chastised. ;)

Anonymous said...

Actually it was quite funny to read this...the females out here are so unlike wat u mentioned...I guess maybe it is coz...people who get admissions in US universities ARE the geeky/nerdy ones...girls with good academic grades, who have a distinction in all semesters etc. these girls are the "sati-savitri" kinds...out here too, the salwar-kameez kind, the men-worshipping kind, male-attention starved kind...and mostly such females manage to get admissions at the phoren univ's (there are exceptions,but few, like this friend of mine who is already being labeled as the "bitch" by other desi girls in her univ campus...why? hell! she fags!!)and manage to paint a completely different picture of Indian bred girls(which is far from the truth)...what you need is to meet the other type of Indian girl:)...I assure you they are perfectly normal:)

my life.... said...

its very interesting to discuss on such issues.. the correlation between education and the types of gals our society moulded... there is a wide spectrum of gals of different characters and family backgrounds... those coming from a humble family background turns out to be bad and vice versa... i feel, in my opinion, that the defination of "good" gal depends on individual society and social conditioning.... in Asian countries ( eg : India, Malaysia and in fact even in Sg), drinking is a taboo and she is labelled a bad person...whereas whe the same gal drinks in Western countries ( Canada, US, etc), its not really considered a taboo... in fact,drinking is regarded as part of culture... so a person who don t drink is not necessarily good and a person who drinks is not necessarily bad... the arguement can go in both ways... :) i just got reminded of the Tamil movie "Manmathan"... " Chudithar potatavellum nalavallum ellai. Jeans potatavellum ketavallum ellai". the good and the bad gals can come in any disguise :)

McGermy said...

@ Da Punkstah
Pfffffffffffffffft.

Anonymous said...

happy new year to you too :)

so will i finally find out about mcgermy 'da pirate' and why he doesn't have a listed profile/blog? hehe

Anonymous said...

http://www.mid-day.com/news/city/2007/january/149380.htm

Off topic but just another indicator of how safe women are in our country.

Ullas

Vijayeta said...

1. A Verrry wickedly happy new year!
2. I dont think its just some desi women living abroad. I've seen plenty like these in India as well! It makes my blood boil!
3. There's a NEW TROLL!!!! How come they always surface when i've been away :(
No fun joining in so late!
Hmpfh!

Revealed said...

I have actually never met any women like that! NEVER EVER! Have I been living under a rock as well?

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Yashita: But of course Yashita! A girl who smokes has fallen off the divine pedestal of unsullied chasteness, no?

Thats not how a good Indian woman should behave, should she?

Bah, tell me about it.

@ My life: Thats the only dialogue I liked (and the only dialogue which made sense) in Manmathan, actually. The rest of the move was just glorified misogynistic filth.

@ mcgermy: Ha ha and a happy new year to you too!

*beam*

@ The armchair philosopher: Thanks!

And I think mcgermy prefers to remain as a person shrouded in mystery, hee.
:D

@ Ullas: Oh my word. That is petrifying. Thanks for pointing me out to that article.

@ Vij: Ohhhhh, heppi noo year to you too vij!

And ha ha, you always miss the good trolls dont you. Have you met Suraj our newest gnome (I will NOT call him a troll)?

Suraj meet Vij, Vij meet Suraj.

hehehehe.

@ Revealed: Havent you? Oh then consider yourself lucky as hell, because you do NOT want to meet such people. Trust me.

Mcgermy said...

@ Da Punkstah,
A happy new year to you too. Just let Mr. TAP know that pirates prefer the fog. ;)

Anonymous said...

1. It is time to stop dressing like a homeless dirtbag.

Yes, high time punkster! But then why did you start dressing like that in the first place!!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Anon: Har, har.

Anonymous said...

u thk tht u r so smrt to tlk bout women ths time but i knw tht u r only doing this to gt more chamchas nd more fan.

rajan

Anonymous said...

if inocnt girls r thr pls dnt spil thm. if u wnt to frk thn u frk.

Anonymous said...

if men wnt to safe fer grl, thn u keep shut. dnt mak man chakka by ur rules.

rajan

McGermy said...

OMG!!!! BIRDSEYEPOTATOROFL!!!!1!one1!! Innit?

Punkstah.. why the hell are you "spil"-ing all these gals? Bhery bhery bad! if you spil wonly rajan has to clean, no?

anonymouse said...

Oh god, I had to read that last line *TWICE* to understand it. Who said India had a large, educated population has obviously never met Rajan?

Anonymous said...

Megha,
for a change damning women...i can already see what u have in store for us hapless men!!
ne way..wassup with u..happy 2007!

Anonymous said...

bwahahahaha. it would be so much fun to have a face to face conversation with the likes of rajan.

So. Much. Fun.

@mcgermy - shucks. I would assume pirates hate the fog, second only to sharp reefs and non functional lighthouses!! :)

--TAP

Anonymous said...

@ajay - um, what? hapless men? who? where? why?

I'm curious - what in your opinion, DOES punkstah have in store for these 'hapless men' anyway?

--TAP

Anonymous said...

Where were these women when *I* was studying in the 'phoren' land :|

I've never had any girl make me food at 4am when I showed up drunk :( :(

Been kicked out a few times though :D

Jan said...

Hmm... I haven't read ALL the comments here, but I have a question. Since this rant (the spirit of which I completely agree with) is directed at purely Indian women settled abroad, does it apply to them. Would you consider this behaviour acceptable in India? Or is it unacceptable only because they're living outside the country? Just trying to clarify cos I have furthur questions to ask you depending on the answer.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Jan: This kind of behavior is completely unacceptable anywhere, it doesnt matter if it is in India or in the States. The only reason why I talked about desi women in phoren lands is because I have not seen a single woman (at least the ones I have interacted with) in India who behaved like that. That doesnt mean that they dont exist in India though. I am quite certain that they DO exist.

Sudha said...

i am really late with this, but when i saw the blog, i HAD to post :P (note to self: check megha's blog often)

now where do i even start! i have seen women like that all my life! every time i hear the phrase "Indian Culture" it makes my blood boil!

have u seen "vivah". (i have'nt and i wud'nt advise u to. hell no!) but these desi women can find some role models in that one.

Anonymous said...

Thought I should let you know - Loved that post so posted a link to it on my blog

themartianscientist said...

This post is awesome! Its like someone actually wrote down my exact thoughts! You could also add the attraction between desi students and thrift stores!you can find good stuff for the same price in a decent shop people!open you eyes!

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

*Bows to the punkster*
After reading this post and the very latest on your blog on desi men abroad, I'm convinced that I'm not the only "abnormal" Indian chick. A big fat thankee.
For the past 6 months, I've been resisting (and ducking) attacks by desi females from all around...no drinking, no swearing, no roaming around late at night (read: past 8 pm), no wearing 'unsuitable clothes' and absolutely NO kissing guys on both cheeks (it's a kinda very common social ritual here...kissing every friend/known classmate on the cheek, which desi girls mightily resist). I'm an outcaste...actually, relieved to be one. Who knows, a poor little girl like me could easily be lured to the "good side" *pulls a straight face* and the next thing I know, I'm a standard model desi girl, studying abroad but "maintaining her character". :P What the hell does that character term mean anyway in Indian vocab?

Anonymous said...

You are not as "cool" as you'd like yourself and others to believe. And just intelligent enough to know that. So - my sympathies.