6/13/06

If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?

I am tired of receiving emails that start with the age old MRA cliché "I admire you for supporting women’s rights, but do you know that men suffer too, blah blah blah.” Do I look like I care? Do you want me to bellow from the rooftop of my apartment building that I am a feminist? How clueless can you get? Let me spell it out for you: I care a rats ass about your whiny *what about men too waaa* wailing. Comprende?

I may seem cold hearted or bitchy or whatchamacallit, but I don’t want to faff my way through a post highlighting 'men’s suffering'. I do not want to dabble in an issue which I have absolutely no interest in. If you choose to give me flak for the above statement, well then, I await the flaming.

I would also like to thank the folks who actually took the time out of their lives and emailed me with legitimate questions about rape and abuse. This post is dedicated to them.

Rest assured, I will name no names. I will only reproduce the questions.

So without further ado, let’s delve right into it.

1. Why do some girls go to a party and get drunk out of their minds, when they know that they can be in a position of compromise? Aren’t these girls, in a way aiding the rapist? And why don’t the men at the party help them?

Note: I would have dismissed this question as another chauvinistic stunt, and in many ways it does reek of ignorance and sexism. But I do have good days occasionally, and so I allowed myself to indulge in a rare act of benevolence.

First of all, I would like you to realize that women attend parties and the like for the exact same reasons as the men, read; to actually have some fun. Now, fun does NOT equal rape. Is that so hard to comprehend? Grasp that idea and feed it to your conscious.

The 'drunk out of their minds' phrase in your question unsettles me. Was that really necessary? Why do you have to attach sexist insinuations to your query? But I digress.

When we think 'rape' a leering man with messy clothes and shifty eyes usually fits our mental image of a typical 'rapist'. But blame the movies for propagating that far-from-accurate image. Usually the rapists in this particular situation you have envisioned (a party) are friends of the rape victim. These men use the trust placed in them by the rape victim and twist it to feed their own highly sadistic fantasies. If you still don’t believe me then this should convince you.

As for your 'aiding the rapist' part, pray tell me how? I am trying to be civil here without blowing my handle but WHY do you address the rape victim? Why can’t you question those sadistic perverts who actually perpetrate the rape? The fact that somehow she was ‘aiding’ the rapist by just being there is one of the most pervasive, sexist, and senseless rape myths floating around. Try to fathom the painfully simple fact that no woman in her right mind will show up at a party expecting or wanting to be raped.

2. Doesn’t rape ultimately boil down to sex? Isn’t rape almost equal to sex?

Forgive me for being rude, but I would like to answer both your questions with one word: Wrong. And wrong.

‘Rape = sex’ is one of the vilest rape myths propagated in our society today. Rape is and always has been an act of power. It is an act of aggression, of possessing the victim sexually. Sex is used as a tool to literally ‘own’ the victim. This stems from severe feelings of inadequacy and a driving need to control, to assert his authority, and the rapist uses physical and sexual onslaught to feed his obsession with power.

Trivializing an assault spurned by pure unadulterated hate fused with an absolute need to assert dominance on a human being and equating it with the normal act of sex (Yes, you heard me. Having sex is normal, you culture police freaks) is foolish and horribly inaccurate, to say the least.

I hope I cleared your doubts about the vast differences between rape and sex.

3. What about men who rape for pleasure?

Your query unravels a complete sub-species of rapists. I present to you the sado-masochistic rapist. These are the kind of men who rape for pleasure.

They indulge in tormenting the victim i.e. they revel in the pain, suffering, anguish and absolute powerlessness of the victim. And they derive a twisted gratification from the fusion of sexual aggression and physical violence. Quite simply put they get off on it.

To them the act of extreme violence (including sexual assault) is erotic.

4. Why does the abuser (in a relationship) always look calm and collected while the abusee always seems flustered? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Let me assume that you are talking about violence in a marriage or a relationship. Do you know why the abuser always looks calm and collected and several people around him will swear upon all the Gods that he is the friendliest/calmest/nicest/quietest person they know?

Mr. oh-so-calm abuser has taken out all his aggression and anger on his wife/girlfriend by verbally abusing her with the choicest expletives or by beating her senseless or both. At the end of each episode, he will be the poster boy of calm while his wife/girlfriend will be a frightened, whimper-y mess.

When you have your very own personalized punching bag at home to kick around and abuse, why wouldn’t you be calm and composed when you step outside the house?

The persona of an abuser has given rise to many a question as to ‘how can a person who seems to be so genial, resort to such acts of violence?’ This behavior, I believe is the split personality or the dichotomy of the abuser psyche.

So after all this, my answer to your question is NO. It need not be the other way around.

I hope these explanations cleared all your doubts.

Believe it or not, if you do have more queries I will be glad to answer them as long as you use an impassioned approach in framing your question. Questions reeking of sexism and 'oh so funny' digs at feminism will be ignored.

Post Script: Jupe left a link in the comments section that begs to be read.

Here it is.

Gut-wrenching, to say the least.


P.P.S: Title inspiration: T.S. Eliot.

6/8/06

On eating human flesh.

I have a confession to make.

I am a closet (errr) cannibal-ist.

Now before you start foraging for your lives, I would like to help y’all. Read my post in its entirety and I’ll consider sparing you oh-kay? I know, my benevolence knows no bounds. And also note the shameless witty methods I resort to........in order to make you read my post. [Insert ominous background mooshik here].

Now now, before your imagination runs amuck, let me elucidate on how I reached such a startling conclusion about myself.

First and most cardinal, I have to give credit to my unparalleled lifestyle coaches: The Save Indian Families organization.

Their profound observations about human behavior and the brilliant research they put in on breaking down the female psyche, quite simply put……..is eye opening.

Needless to say, when I chanced upon this exceptional article, I knew that it was my calling.

Caveat: Please leave any semblances of ‘logic’ or ‘reason’ at the door. I beseech you.

And now, without further ado I present to you:

Correlation between breaking families and Cannibalism in Europe.

This is the grandiose title of Sumanth prabhuji’s article.

Next time you go for a vacation to a picturesque place in Europe, Beware !! The people sitting next to you in the local trains can very well have cannibalistic fanstasies and may even have those instincts. There are scaring reports of cannibalism and ritualistic human sacrifice in Europe.
If you are a typical Indian who lacks Individuality and lacks a spine of his/her own you wont believe it.

Oh, where do I begin? Do I talk about my lack of err……individuality?

Come to think of it, that 45 year old gentleman sitting next to me on the barge in Petra (Greece) where I vacationed with my parents last year was a tad too friendly. He was also rubbing his tummy at accordant intervals. And he kept harping on his love for ‘all things Indian’.

I thought he was putting the moves on me then, but now thanks to Sumanth prabhuji I finally see the light.
Mr. Creepy Greek man was actually referring to his craving for Tandoori Indian flesh!

Damn.

In sessions with police experts, Meiwes said that his desire to "slaughter and consume a human being" dates back to as early as his childhood. After his parents had separated in 1969, his two older brothers moved away from home, leaving young Armin behind with his dominant mother.
"When the family had fallen apart, I felt very lonesome," Meiwes said, adding that he always wanted to share the love.

This nifty little anecdote about a man justifying his craving for human flesh has been inserted by Sumanth Prabhuji in his own article to drive his ludicrous, non-existent point even further. Observe the subtle manner in which Mr. Sumanth has highlighted ‘the dominant mother’ bit and the ‘family has fallen apart’ statement. Also note how Sumanth prabhuji has laid the blame squarely on the mother (the harlot) of the pitiable soul who happens to indulge in the unfortunate hobby of eating people.

I have come to the sequitur that SINGLE MOTHERS *GASP* and FAMILIES WITHOUT FATHERS *MORE GASPS*, are the largest perpetuators of cannibalism and other assorted western evil’s in our utopian society.

Screw imagined western utopias. This contradiction ridden, pseudo-religious doctrine following, hypocrisy worshipping Indian society is the real deal.

During his adolescent years, he began having cannibalistic fantasies. Out in the countryside where he lived with his mother, Meiwes had often witnessed animal slaughtering, which became something "normal" for him.

Aha. So this deranged innocent individual was initiated into the nuances of butchery and mutilation by his accursed sorceress of a mother.

How insightful.

Now, we need to wonder how the Europeans have gone to Cannibalism and Ritual Sacrifice all the while trying to modernise us.
Of course, we live in 21st century and we, Indians shamelessly desire to worship anything western. We invite all kinds of western activists to civilise us and make us modern. They become chief guests in our human rights conferences and they preach us how to lobby for laws to break families, how nuclear family must be replaced by single parent family.

Oh yes. We have to question the dinner rituals of the vile European families spearheaded by single (swoon) mothers. How dare they try to liberalize us? Those moste evile wenches, who ingest casseroles made of human innards and raise children on a diet of crunchy human knees should atone for their sins.

Feeding these mothers salted rye meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner should set them straight.

They will stave off food entirely and they will not possess the energy to advise us as to how to break a family and so the virtuousness of our ‘Indian nuclear family’ will prevail.

These western activists must be opposed as soon as they reach Indian airports. They should first culturally improve themselves before they preach others. Slavery, cannibalism, dowry (read article greek dowry), feminism, reductionism, judgementalism, patriarchy all are western diseases. We need immunity from all these diseases and the time is running out....

Alas. Our humanitarian Indian government will do no such thing. In fact, the inherent goodness of our government prevents them from seeing through these duplicitous activists.

But Sumanth Prabhuji all is not lost. You and I together will fight this war…..we will make it the paramount goal of our lives.

We will also give it a name: “The war against imaginary slave mongers, cannibals, chimeras, vampires, feminist sorceresses and other assorted mythical creatures”

As for your “we need immunity…blah blah” Sumanth Prabhuji……may I suggest a good strong dose of sanity taken along with regular shots of logic?
It might be painful at first but I assure you, the results are wondrous.

As for me, I’m off to have a scrumptious meal of mozzarella fingers, only…this recipe calls for real fingers.

And no, my tummy does not accommodate fingernails.

6/1/06

Misplaced love.

Disclaimer: I am addressing a specific person. They know who they are. Silly arguments in the name of 'you are discriminating against Indian Graduate Students!' will be laughed at and put up for public humiliation. You stand warned.

Dear Indian graduate student with the lavender tee, skin-tight jeans and bright white shoes,

First of all, welcome to the USA, the land of the free and the brave.

It must have been mighty hard for you to adjust to this alien concept of freedom, which people in the States seem to revel in. Back at home, in your little village of Jhumratalaiya or Gummudipundi (forgive me if I make palpable mistakes in naming your village) the wimmin’ folk would be sentient of their role in the household and they would respectfully slave away in the kitchen or indulge in other servile household activities. Back in your village, life must have been a blissful haven of ignorance and you must have been its poster child.

I know that you resent the women from the big cities or the developed smaller cities in India. Those vile modern women with the loose morals! They wear pants *shudder*! They speak to men *the whores*! They don’t cover their faces in the presence of their godly men folk! Chee Chee! And that is why you stubbornly resisted the idea of going to college in a big city because your non-existent self esteem would sink even lower (if that’s even possible) in the presence of the ‘city-bred’ women. If I may be so preposterous, I would also like to add that you have secretly coveted such women, but the hate you have nurtured for women exercising their right to be human seems to be a stumbling block in the way of your ‘feelings’ and it has also taken over your very being.

The States must have been a different ballgame altogether. Not only were women asserting their independence, the men seemed to allow this blasphemy! They did not beat their women around, nor did they indulge in the ‘teaching-women-a-lesson-because-they-daredtocough-in-front-of-their-men’ system.

You tried to adapt. You resigned yourself to the fact that firangi women are ‘character-less’ and ‘loose-moral-ed’ at birth and you chose to take it in your stride. You decided to indulge in the services offered by the pornstitution instead, read: strip clubs and the like. Since approaching the other gender civilly was an alien concept to you (and we both know that nobody would waste a second glance in your direction) you decided to whole-heartedly indulge in an establishment which reduced women to tits and ass, not unlike the cattle you used to herd in India. You nobly supported these ventures by visiting them religiously, right after you prayed to the pictures of Durga Mata and Lakshmi Devi you have in your apartment. FYI: My powers of observation are far better than you think they are. I’ve had the misfortune of setting foot in your apartment ( because I had to return the textbook I borrowed from your normal roommate) and witness the frenzied plans you were making for your outing.

But when it came to the Desi women, you put your foot down. How can they emulate the *ahem* shameless firangi women? How will their parents react if they find out that their daughters actually have the gall *gasp* to be independent? So you decided to righteously assume the role of moral policeman of our university.

You elected your puke-inducing cronies as your subordinates in the WAR against ‘desi women asserting their independence’ and you also came up with an impressive plan of action, filled with the right amounts of slander, defamation, verbal abuse and vile rumors.

I should have known that I would be at the top of your hit list or should I say ‘hate-list’, as I flaunted my independence by committing the most vile, degenerate act of swimming (crime 1) in a one-piece swimsuit (crime 2) ! I am sorry. Good desi women do not swim. If they do, they swim in a nine-yard sari or a modest salwar-kurta. So being the moral policeman that you are….you decided to broadcast rumors around campus that I swim naked and if people wanted to witness live-porn (quoting you), they should head down to the university swimming pool.

Your magnanimity knows no bounds. I am a little shocked that you have so wisely suggested career options for me in the prostitution field and you and your cronies have also done the groundwork for me by telling other people like ‘you’ that I invite men to my apartment for ‘services’.

But you did not stop there. You became quite the career services counselor by suggesting professional options in prostitution for my friends as well.

I hope you read this letter. Nay, I WANT you to read this letter.

And then I hope you kill yourself.

Yours truly,

The punkster.

Post Script: For some of you who may have doubts about this person's gender (even though I thought I made myself perfectly clear) , this lavender tee toting person is a HE.

Yeah, it's a GUY.

Any other questions?

:-)

P.P.S: On a totally unrelated note:

Just when you thought things couldn't get stupid-er, this happens.

Is there a limit for ineffable dumbness?