11/17/06

what is essential is invisible to the eye

In a harrowing precedent, the Indian Supreme Court has contemptibly and erroneously refused to charge a person for attempted rape under the IPC. In other words, unless there are glaring signs of forced penile/vaginal penetration, good ol’ violence, molestation, and other kinds of sexual abuse including the abuse by using fingers, bottles, sharp instruments and god knows other crap thrust into the various orifices of the victim just doesn’t cut it. So what IS a person who commits everything pertaining to sexual abuse and molestation on their victim EXCEPT inserting their sexual organ (of course), convicted with? Well, according to the Supreme Court, the offence is punishable IF the perpetrator/s intended to outrage a woman’s modesty or they possessed the knowledge that their actions will result in the tenability of the woman losing her virtuosity.

Wow.

What a steaming pile of horseshit.

And it gets better.

When asked about the nonsensical ‘modesty’ bit, the judges actually had the nerve to back it up by the most asinine statement I’ve heard all year; that a girl bears from birth the peculiarity of her gender, which is modesty.

Um hello, is this the court of Aurangazeb? Can someone please tell these judges that we are not, repeat not living in circa 17th century A.D?

Isn’t this another cog in the classic ‘blame the victim or if you can’t, at least protect the rapist - oh excuse me - man who wanted to rape but thanks to an extremely convenient imbecilic technicality - is not’ fest?

Isn’t that the case in most rape cases being reported today? A foreseeable accusation game follows the rape, where everything and its dog get blamed, except the rapist. To my mind it is unfathomable that the whole caboodle from the weather to the victims clothes, to her behavior to where she was and with whom she was, her stilettos, her short skirt, her drinking, her non-drinking, her very presence, brings about extreme scrutiny but not the rapist. The rapist is invisible, ignored even and his actions do not merit even a whit of criticism. Of course, even if there is a miniscule window of opportunity to vindicate the accused, the spotlight will instantaneously shine on the rapist and his life in order to prove how ‘normal’ he was and how the rape victim was just a whore who came along and pressured him into raping her or abusing her i.e. creating a wave of rapist sympathy just to show that the victim was ‘asking for it’.

How about shifting the onus of the blame to the actual cause of rape: the rapists?

That’s right, rapists cause rape. Not the length of the victim’s skirt, not the amount she’s had to drink, not the dark alley she chooses to walk in, not the place where she chooses to be, not the parties she chooses to attend, not the company she chooses to keep, but the person who actually commits.the.crime i.e. THE RAPIST, causes rape.

If you belong to those groups who ‘care’ for the woman’s welfare and dole out patronizing advice on how she ought to protect herself against getting raped then wake up, honorary members-of-rape-perpetuators because that’s exactly what you’re doing, perpetuating rape by focusing on how the victim moves, breathes and acts and letting yet another rapist go under the radar with your cloying concern. Do you actually believe that by taking away a bit of the woman’s freedom (which is what you’re doing, by the way), the raping will stop? What about the countries where the woman is covered from head to toe in a burqha or a similar kind of garment where you can’t even see her wrists let alone the shape of the dress or anything else? Even in those countries, rape happens AND the women are being castigated for it. So you can argue all you want about the victim and completely ignore the rapist and what the rapist does and THAT is why we haven’t moved towards a way of decisively reducing or ending rape. Instead, rape has become a quagmire of ifs and buts and what ifs and the only person who benefits from all these tedious discussions and deliberations is the rapist. It is ridiculous to constantly ‘advice’ the woman on how she should always behave as if there is a rapist lurking around every corner. It makes it look as if women are insensate, half-witted dopes who are moronic enough to not know that rape happens.

Frankly, it is insulting to offer women such pitiful guidance for the sake of their so called wellbeing and it completely disregards the fact that men rape women. It discounts the actions of the rapist as if his actions are so utterly normal and A-ok that it’s a fact of life and we can do absolutely nothing to stop him and so we must plan around his actions or plan to circumvent him.

Why must we act as if rape is so inexorable that we must find ways to work around it?

Is it because we live in a culture of ‘boys will be boys’, a culture where the bar is set so low for the men that they have nothing to prove, resulting in their actions being rendered completely and totally inconspicuous?

11/5/06

slimeballs, sex advice and universal idiocy

You know, I don’t read women’s magazines (err, I have displayed a weakness for glamour and nylon from time to time; only for the fashion though!) and I definitely stay away from the patriarchy 101 handbooks aka the men’s magazines, but there comes a time where I cannot ignore the blatant ludicrousness of some of the articles in the aforementioned men’s magazines, especially the cloyingly patronizing and male-ego stroking ‘sex tips’ they dole out to their readers (I pity you, you poor sods).

What really tickles my funny bone is the blatantly misogynist ‘sex advice’ parading under the shoddy cover of what women actually want from their partners during sex, when in reality its not about the women at all, its about pandering to the inner creepo-studmuffin which gives you a pretty decent picture of the male ideal which these magazines seem to wax eloquent about.

So when my friend sent me an article (gloriously titled 6 types of sex women enjoy) to brighten up my otherwise dreary Sunday, I balked and then my eyes flew open in an OMFGisthisforreal! kinda expression and then I laughed and laughed until I feared that I had contracted an aneurism from all that incessant laughter.

To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, let’s look at the first type, aptly titled seductive sex.

Chances are that your first few sexual encounters with your woman will revolve around seduction. In other words, you're going to do your damndest to charm her right into your bed.
Look deep into her eyes and "sensualize" the conversation in order to seduce her mind and get the sexual energy between you flowing.

Once you have her eating out of the palm of your hand, take her in your arms and kiss her. Lead her into the bedroom and slowly undress her. Lay her down and make love to her while keeping eye contact. Maintain a constant, steady pace and refrain from using too many sound effects. After all, you're the strong, silent type tonight.

This type of set-up is also good for when you've been together for a while and want to feel like the stud that you are, and want to remind her of that too.

Maybe I’ve been undersexed or my extremely emotional ‘female’ brain refuses to comprehend the seduce her mind bit. Pray, tell me how do you seduce a brain? And of course, it’s not too difficult to have the weak little woman eat out of the palm of your hand, just look into her eyes long enough and your superhuman powers of hypno-male-studliness will quell her virtuosity and din it into her seduced brain that you* are THE STUD tonight; after all she does want to be controlled, you’re just doing her a big favor by generously giving her what she wants. Uh-huh.

Let’s move on to type 3: Animalistic sex.

Grab her and kiss her hard, and rip each other's clothes off; it doesn't even matter if some of them stay on. Go ahead and do it doggy style on the living room floor, or prop her up on the kitchen counter if you so desire. Do it fast and hard.

Grab her hair by the roots, yell if you feel like it; just be sure to check your inhibitions at the door.

I’m not too concerned about the ‘rip the clothes’ part but I must say that I found the ‘go ahead and do it doggy style’ part ab-fucking-solutely hilarious. I mean they’re not even pretending that this article is about what kind of sex the woman enjoys! Oh no no no, fuck her in a position where YOU get the best view and the maximum pleasure! Because ultimately, all women have the deep seated need to slavishly pander to their man in whichever estimable way possible, right? Right?

Oh and I totally dig the subtle way in which men are represented as holding back their quivering inner Neanderthal, only to be unleashed by causing pain to their possession woman and by yelling unabashedly like the cavemen that they presume to be, because that’s SO what women want: simulated rape.

This one's quick and to the point; you want an orgasm and you want it now.
Yeah, let’s just completely ditch what we’ve been pretending to do throughout this article and expose ourselves for what we really mean by 6 types of sex women enjoy AKA its all about what YOU enjoy, studmuffins.

You can also get her to wear some sexy lingerie and do a little strip tease for you. She can be your naughty school girl, cowgirl, French maid; whatever turns you on.
Hooo! Because that’s what SHE strives for! Slavishly ceding to your needs! Make her strip for YOUR pleasure! Because you know, when a woman knows that she’s adept at pleasuring her man, that knowledge in itself should be able to turn her on! But of course! Who cares about actually taking the time to know her body? Who cares about taking their time with foreplay? Who cares about women having orgasms? What a load of crock! Now that you know that whatever turns you on is the type of sex your woman enjoys, go grab your woman and SHOW her who the boss is, I say!

You know, this article is such a load of bullshit that it’s offensive to anyone who reads it; man or woman. The whole premise of this article is based on the sole conjecture that women can be manipulated into giving men pleasure and in turn she automatically gets turned on by the power of his pleasure. In every ‘type’ of sex that women supposedly enjoy in this article, there’s not one mention of the clitoris, the vagina or any kind of stimulation which involves the pleasure.of.the.woman. By fraudulently using the ‘what women want’ tag, these articles actually teach their readers to inculcate in the women how to give them pleasure and that’s pretty much it.

Unless of course, if you actually want to persevere towards cultivating a libidinous-slimebally-pseudo-studmuffin kinda persona; then well, this article is right up your alley.

* Generic ‘you’ used throughout this post. Please for the love of all that’s living, if you actually take this post personally, I’ll unconditionally devote the next post to laughing at your pitiful ass. You stand warned.