3/23/07

friandship making plz lolz

So.

TradWannabeRebel (TWR) desi girl falls for TypicalCuteHypocrite (TCH) desi boy. TWR girl wants to go out with TCH boy. TCH boy is busy salivating over the gori randi’s hoping that he has a shred of chance to get laid (because gori’s are all prostitutes, no) and thinks that TWR girl is not worth his time of the day. Besides, TCH boy surmises, desi girls aren’t supposed to want to date. Desi girls are supposed to go to classes, cook, sit and home and rant about how cheap everything in India is when compared to the yoo yess.

But TCH boy is benevolent. He decides to go out on one date with TWR girl before he starts calling her a whore. After all, a desi girl wanting to date is not something which is proper, but he is willing to make a rare allowance in this case.

Puffing up like a Goliath toad at his unparalleled altruistic capabilities, TCH boy finally goes out with TWR girl and takes her to a decrepit shanty passing off as an ‘authentic’ Chinese restaurant in the shadier part of town, to make sure that none of his other desi cronies spot them together. After all he has to maintain his status in the all pervasive mini Indian feudal system of the university, yeah?

So to no ones surprise the date doesn’t go too well, no thanks to TCH boy who has taken it upon himself to shove unsolicited advice about the rules of Desidom down poor, hapless TWR girl’s throat. Needless to say, TWR girl slips into the restroom and calls me frantically to come get her out of this vomitarium of a date or else she would hurt herself VERY badly.

And to cut a long story short, that’s exactly what I did. I swung by the ‘authentic’ Chinese restaurant and picked her up only to hear her chant over and over again that it wasn’t her place to date at all, and this incident was a sign from the arranged marriage gods that she’d better not go out with a guy if she’s not played out their whole ‘life in marital bliss’ tape in her head, beforehand.

Now, I commend TWR girl to actually grow some ovaries (see what I did there?) and try to have a legit social life outside of the desidom boundaries which fetter her, but trust a godawful experience with a guy like TCH boy to send the poor girl packing.

I really don’t mean to condemn all desi men (at least the TCH boy types) as vile scum, but…they are really not the poster children of progressiveness or non-antediluvian thinking.

Really, they aren’t.

If you are a desi guy like TCH boy and you’re actually reading this post without blowing your duplicitous top, then I beseech you to read on. Well.

So TCH boy (and boys like TCH boy), here’s what you don’t do/think/say/behave with respect to dating, love, relationships and desi girls in general.

1. If an Indian girl is faintly interested in the way she looks and she tries to make a minuscule effort to look presentable, please don’t jump on the how-can-traditional-desi-girls-want-to-look-good bandwagon and assume that she must be a whore. First of all what is your manic fixation with calling women whores? What are your criteria for the classification of whoriness? Attractiveness? A sense of style? The fact that a desi girl does not furtively look at the floor the minute she sets eyes on a desi boy, because god forbid you think that she was checking you out even if it was for 1/24th of a microsecond? What is it? I’m on a need to know basis because my glabella will crack if I don’t untangle this Gordian knot. It will!

2. A desi woman is human with sensory perceptions and organs just like you. The last time I checked, we had not evolved into a higher species bereft of sensory perception or base human needs, yet. So until we do evolve into a higher species where human wants become redundant, I’m sorry to break it to you, but we are (are you sure you want to read on desi boy?) just.like.you.with.the.same.physical.wants.and.needs. Right, now don’t contract a coronary infarction and die on me desi boy, you hear?

3. Desi girls want to get laid and have sex too. Or at least reach second base. There, I’ve said it.

4. Desi girls who want to date, just want to date sometimes. They don’t want to set a date or look for the right muhurat for marriage within six months or any of that crock. Realize that oftentimes, if not all the time it is only a glorified front to convince feudal lords like you of their unsullied chastity and piousness. They can’t tell you their actual intentions for fear of your infamous whoriness branding. Hence the savithiri-ist farce.

5. You are not the irrefutable vigilante of the modesty meter. No, you.are.NOT. And fantastic arguments like “I’m the one affected by what she wears” or my personal favorite, the asinine “What a desi girl wears reflects on all the Indians in this university, and she must be heedful of that” doesn’t count. So check yourself before you gleefully offer concerned advice as to how a desi woman should dress herself, because you know you just feel for the desi community and you have such drippy consideration for the desi girl’s status (which you will proceed to tear to shreds, but hey who am I to judge you) in the university’s desi community’s modesty-a-thon; for fucks sake.

6. It’s high time you ditched the unadulterated cultural hypocrisy schtick you’ve got going on, oh-kay? Understand that it is utterly repugnant to mess around as much as you want and then turn around and expect a living shrine of immaculate chastity for a life partner. Even if you haven’t had any real interaction with the female of the species for most of your existence and you think that that’s your way of maintaining an austere life then you still don’t have any right to project your aberrant views onto anyone else. Get off your high horse and just live, for crying out loud.

7. And finally, just ditch the strip club welcoming committee please. Why do you play out your deep seated insecurities in this patriarchal dehumanizing ritual? Why is it that you ‘welcome’ a new desi guy student by immediately shunting him off to the strip club along with a battalion of your cronies like one of those mandatory field trips to the natural history museum, huh? If you cannot approach a girl like other humans do or your insecurities and prejudices blinker your abilities to think rationally and with reasonable fair-mindedness then it is no reason to go indulge in a female dehumanizing ritual. It really isn’t. Do you feel manly and on top of the world when you spiritedly fling dollar bills at a woman’s vagina? Really? Do you? If you say “Come on, it’s only a strip club, every guy needs to let off some steam” you better watch what you eat cause I swear to god I’ll at the very least, poison you. And that’s a promise.

I don’t expect desi guys like TCH boy to change overnight. Call me overly cynical but I don’t expect them to change at all. They’re so sunk in their mire of denial that even a slight attitude change would be a milestone of epic proportions.

And don’t even get me started on their issues with desi women smoking and drinking. I don’t smoke but guys like these make me want to wear a florescent pleather micro mini with a garish purple sequined string bikini top, complete with glass platform heels, and gallivant the length and breadth of this campus with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of Jose Cuervo’s black medallion tequila in my other hand.

If pushed hard enough, I might just do it too. Ahem.

85 comments:

Sridhar said...

My thoughts exactly... infact the sheer percentage of TCH made me feel abnormal when I first came to US.

WishfulThinker said...

Just to be making sure to share some of that tequila pliss. Other than this, I have nothing of any import to add. :O

Jay Sun said...

So tell me...are TCH boys really Cute...doesn't that all go out of the window once they open their mouth and reaffirm their TCHness...:)

Rimi said...

And if only, if only this just happened once the TCH types went out of their social cocoon in Desiland. But no such luck.

Which is not to say I'm wishing stupid only happens to men when they cross the forbidden seven seas, but what's with men
A. whining about the clinginess/ committment obsession (not my words) of women
B. AND ranting and frothing and sneering if a girl says she isn't looking for something long term just yet?

Pick a side, you idiots. I'm willing to concede that a man who was looking for a fling might want to settle down later. Situations change, and so on. But the SAME person swinging (haha) between the two in the span of ONE conversation is a bit much.

Need I even go into "I was horny as hell and groped her and she let me so she's a slut"?

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Sridhar: Oh yes. If you're actually a normal guy, TCH type guys will treat you like a Martian. I have seen several normal guys being dragged over to the dark side because of this weird form of peer pressure.

@ Wishful: Are you kidding? Is THIS post too heavy for you? Poda. I'm not sharing my tequila then. Pffft!

@ Jay Sun: That is true. Once their 'personality' shines through, you know what you're in for. And its not pretty.

@ Rimi: Exactly. Why don't these dipshits pick a side? I don't care if its the right or the sensible 'side' or not! Even if they vehemently believe that all desi women should be bastions of Savithirism; as long as they don't turn right around and complain that desi women are out to force them into a commitment, I'm ok. At the very least, I know that I can stay away from such morons you know?

And of course. Come on Rimi. Its because you (the temptress) were in his line of sight! If he hadn't set eyes on you, he wouldn't have become horny in the first place, no? Tsk tsk Rimi, how naive of you.

Szerelem said...

Sigh. I so get where you're coming from. It's all so demented really. After a while these guys will have nice girlffriends and all and pretend to be liberal. But when they just join college and look at other couples they're always like "OMG that girl is such a slut!!". Jackasses.

Sriram said...

Sigh... I so wish I could be part of that clique. Alas, I am an outcast, thanks to my hatred of strip clubs and my belief that all things bar none are equal. Not to mention the amount of ridicule when I go against the herd(!)when they sit around, bitching about a girl, inevitably calling her a whore because (gasp!!!) she wears a mini-skirt and goes to the bar or she has way too many non-desi friends.

So, I sit here, with a bottle of Jack Daniels, forever waiting to be accepted into "the group".

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Szerelem: I know eh. I mean like I said before, it'll be easier for all of us if they at least picked a side. That way we'll know who to avoid, which to me is a good thing.

@ Sriram: Oh you poor soul. Dont you think a bottle of Jack Daniels is better company than the 'supercool' TCH types?

apu said...

Interesting. I wonder how different are the dynamics of colleges in the homeland. This sounds like a case of wanting to be more Indian when away.

Anurag said...

I wish I had stuck around longer and finished my bloody PhD to see this circus. :) I did catch glimpses, though. But then, I also came across some normal, level-headed guys.

perspective inc said...

You've hit the nail on its head... The TCH types are so insulated and socially disconnected that they make every woman's life almost miserable...argh!!

perspective inc said...

You've hit the nail on its head..
These TCH types are so insulated and socially disconnected that its not even funny!Arrrgh!

nevermind said...

Jeez. But really, indifferent contempt is probably all they're worth. Methinks the last idea is a most excellent one:)

Schmetterling said...

TCH types wld also love to pick on the women who drive. And who can possibly drive a lot more decently than their sorry asses ever could.

Grafxgurl said...

never did date DESI boys....just Indian ones.. in India.. liked them much better there....they get so strange when they are here!!

GettingThereNow said...

You go Girl!! Give 'em a piece of your mind! You know, TCH guys are the same every where and IN ALL TIMES. They were the same 15 years ago when I was in college. (Yikes!! Did I just give my age away????!!)

crumbs said...

:D i can feel the sentiment behind the words. always wondered what the big deal was with the desifolk and upholding your tradition...what, do they really think that the entire population back in the country are watching with baited breath for them to uphold all values "indian" and set a shining example of goodness and light to the evil west??

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Apu: Well, I think thats part of it. But I also think that the hypocrisy and denial takes center stage here, although both attributes can be linked to wanting to be more 'Indian' while away, so it actually becomes a convoluted vicious cycle, if I'm making any sense.

@ Anurag: You dont want to be around these types. Trust me.

*shudders*

@ Perspective inc: I know! Why cant they just mind their own business really? Cause I think thats what these guys need to learn the most i.e. minding ones own business. Bah.

@ Nevermind: Hee! You really want to see me donning a tacky pleather micro mini? Actually, dont answer that. I dont want to know. ;)

@ Schmetterling: Oh but we weak desi women cant drive! Thats like such a macho thing to do! Come on now, surely you must know that.

Heh.

@ Grafx: Now that is absolutely true. The guys I meet and the ones I've known in India are so much more sensible than the TCH type morons here.

@ Gettingtherenow: Oh but of course they are! They are our personal cultural warriors, remember?

@ Crumbs: See thats the thing I dont understand. I cant figure out if these guys behave the way they do because they think that their 'Indian-ness' will seep away if they dont behave like a-holes or if theyre just glorified hypocrites.

aradhana said...

i thought things were better in the US compared to Singapore where we're still quite conservative, on a whole. it seems much worse!

i think the presence of a local indian community really helped to make more of the expatriate community, or the tch boys that youre talking about, open up. either that or they become social recluses and hang out only in their hostels along with their other cronies.

locals have developed the same sort of disgust you have for tch boys..and some of the girls alike who take a moral high ground but end up being so much more wild then they preach us not to be. which means, indian girls cant wear short skirts but we'll look at chinese girls who do..indian girls shouldnt sleep arnd but we need someone to sleep with so we'll settle for anyone.(or anything.)

whats strange really is how different both communities of indians are..the locals vs expats..its almost like we're different species of indians. :P

InExile said...

ha ha ha ha !!! very good post !!

That Armchair Philosopher said...

holy crap. to put it eloquently.

@3 - hallelujah.

@4 - true, but there are too few who do. most come in with either too many or too few expectations. and some with none at all.

@7 - haha, Really?

I kind of know what grafxgurl is talking about. A lot of perfectly normal people go crazy out of India. beats me why. and yes, i think the impression of all goris being sluts is too widespread and prevalent - someone i know just *assumed* they sleep with different people every weekend. talk about stereotypes.

and the site i used to get my blog RSS feeds from went down. ka-boom. so i'm manually following up on about 30 blogs. aargghh..

That Armchair Philosopher said...

ooh and the trolling hasn't started.. _yet_

That Armchair Philosopher said...

gah. why do i not comment in one go?

when you do go gallivanting around campus in that teensy weensy itsy bitsy whatchamacallit.. post pictures. okay?

*pushes hard*

Anonymous said...

are u saying tht trying to be indian is bad in a diff country? come on. these ppl r born indian nd they will be indian when they go to states or any other country. r u sayin tht as soon as u leave contry u shld ditch everythin u learnt from birth nd be all angrezi and western? try to be more clear pls.

pRicky said...

ball busting fiesta I see...
So how is it do u identify a TCH from one who is merely acting like a normal guy and is a TCH???
And really non-antediluvian thinking really???
ummm i find myself quite inadeqauate but wha???

absolute fun stuff though. laughter galore... Uk's the same...

La vida Loca said...

The strip club initiatin is an excuse to go ogle..at least thats what I always thought...

****I don’t smoke but guys like these make me want to wear a florescent pleather micro mini with a garish purple sequined string bikini top, complete with glass platform heels, and gallivant the length and breadth of this campus with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of Jose Cuervo’s black medallion tequila in my other hand.*****

Please do. I'll go with you dressed alike :)

Anonymous said...

punkstar aunti u havent stopped i see. u think u r big expert no aunti, thn tell me why my gf said ta ta nd maried a software eng whn i did nethin wrng. u think men r rakshas. wht happend to u whn u were growing? pls tell me punkstar.

Urban Bourbon Ninja said...

If any of these ass****s ever pushes you too far... you, erm, er, think you can, um, get me a picture ? :)

anonymouse said...

/me hands the ninja a camera and pushes the punkster.

On second thoughts, that colour combination will hurt my eyes. Can you choose a tasteful combination please? :P

mumbaigirl said...

TCHs are all over. In the US, the UK and in India.

jax said...

Megha, Tell me something. Does the TCH kinda guy represent a lot of the Desi guys in the US or is he one of those odd cases? I have never been to the US myself, but I imagined that the educated bunch there (the guys who have had a considerable amount of time to soak in the progressive culture and all that) would have evolved a bit. But this is truly appalling.

sink sink socks said...

It was but a anna_e_1991 quarter past nine o'clock when their carriage stopped at the Watkinson door...

Rohini said...

Ooh. I actually did that. I used to walk into the night canteen in my short shorts and a cigarette dangling between my fingers. The look on faces of the nerdy-engineer types was to die for. Such fun!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Aradhana: which means, indian girls cant wear short skirts but we'll look at chinese girls who do..indian girls shouldnt sleep arnd but we need someone to sleep with so we'll settle for anyone.(or anything.)

Amen. I think its also a manic fear of losing ones 'Indian' identity. Its more of OMFG I cant change, I must represent my culture. Its really twisted, when you think about it.

@ Inexile: Thank you!

@ TAP: Exactly. And the 'all gori women are harlots' world view which these people seem to have is just plain noxious. And are you sure you want to see me in ghastly pleather? Argh.

@ Anon: How much more clear can I be? Did you actually read the whole post properly? Please read it again before you spew nonsense. Thanks.

@ Pricky: Err, thanks. I think you just have to be really attentive to what they say. You know that sooner or later, their true colors always come out, but catching sly TCH types off guard is the key.

@ La vida loca: Oh good then! At least I wont be throwing myself to the wolves, alone. :)

@ second anon: Ok you need to ask your girlfriend about your problems and you also need to see a shrink, pronto. Dumbass.

@ Ninja: et tu?

@ Anonymouse: Ha ha, no! If you wanna see anything you have to put up with the garishness. And thats that. Heh.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Mumbaigirl: Exactly.

@ Jax: Actually TCH guys are rampant. The TCH guy is not an odd solitary case, really. If you look hard enough you'll find TCH types in India too! Just look for the guy who has a penchant for calling every woman he comes across, a whore (or a slut, or any other suitable expletive) for no particular reason. :)

@ Rohini: Really? You're officially my hero now.

*bows*

~ et ~ said...

Whoa. Why all this sweat? Why can't you ignore TCH's instead of giving them all this attention (blogs, comments etc?). Sounds like pointless dissing to me!

The bottomline I think is peer pressure. When I was in school, I had TCH traits. Yes, I admit it.

- If a desi girl dated an american and one of my pals saw them making out, I sure did lend my ears to the story. I probably was judgemental too, that the desi girl was a freaky one. Shame on me, yes.

- When I dated indian girls, I was pissed too, as much as you girls are, about TCHs. Because 80% of desi girls won't make it obvious that they've started dating someone because the TCH's call them a whore. If you think TCH's are such shit, why care about their opinion? why dont you hug your guy outside of your classroom, in front of your desi friends, if you felt like it? Forgive me if I'm wrong, but hugging your boyfriend does not count as PDA

- Isn't gossipping something that girls love to do? Are you TCH haters gonna tell me you never discussed stories about how Anil* asked you out and you sweetly refused (or) Ram going over to Swait's place to do homework after midnight?

~ Final word: I definitely had TCH traits because of peer pressure. I was wrapped up in a small community of similar minded TCHs and the fear of being the recluse, as opposed to sriram, made me play along. And that's over - I was an entirely different person 3 years ago and once people grow up and walk out of their boundaries, they change. I'm not even an iota similar to the guy i was, when i was in school. Please don't use guys at school as your benchmark - they are merely students who try to make ends meet, miss their families and hate the society for the most part.

Vincent said...

Please don't hate on the strip club welcoming committee. Mostly, they're the same kids who bunk school to gang up at someone's crib for an afternoon porn movie marathon. Not all of them are socially inept hypocrites. They come in peace.

Stop looking at me like that.
(pause)
Please don't kill me.

Anonymous said...

ok if i ask a question u call it nonsense. come on, wht r u sayin. I only wanted to knw if u stop being indian as soon as u leave India. why cant u ans properly?

Anonymous said...

i really wnt to know if u want ppl to jus forget who they r and be total angrezi.just ans the question pls.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ et: First of all, who decides what’s pointless and what’s heavy on the pontification? To me it’s really not about giving attention as you so put it, in as much as I need a medium to vent. That’s all there is to it.

And as for this statement,

If you think TCH's are such shit, why care about their opinion? why dont you hug your guy outside of your classroom, in front of your desi friends, if you felt like it? Forgive me if I'm wrong, but hugging your boyfriend does not count as PDA

That’s just blind assumption. You don’t know me or what I do or how I behave, so lets keep the personal digs and suppositions to a minimum shall we? I also wanted to ask you about what you think constitutes as ‘acceptable’ PDA. I really don’t think it’s our business to ogle or point or judge when two people are hugging or kissing or whatever. Anyway, I digress.

Isn't gossipping something that girls love to do? Are you TCH haters gonna tell me you never discussed stories about how Anil* asked you out and you sweetly refused (or) Ram going over to Swait's place to do homework after midnight?

There you go with the assumptions again. I never said girls didn’t gossip. But the ‘girls are natural gossip mongers’ or ‘girls just LOVE to gossip’ is such a tired old stereotype. Boys gossip just as much or more (in some instances) as girls do and it’s about time we accept that.

As for your final word, I do agree with you that it’s partly due to peer pressure and I understand that you felt a need to not be a recluse and if you’re a changed person, then bully for you, I say!

However, not all TCH types really change, you know. Their attitudes are quite deep seated and they may become dormant, but I’m not too sure of a complete mind-set overhaul.

~ et ~ said...

@Punkster: To start with, when I say "you", I'm addressing the TCH Hatah club members, not just "you", personally. You could me queen (....)ing cleopatra, and I wouldn't know.

Let's take a quick turn here - do non-TCH guys get treated like one? Be honest and answer me. True story here - I used to meet a desi girl in the elevators and we used to exchange smiles all the time - instead of being a devious, I chose to be straightforward and sent her an email, to her school id, from mine. She responded, we met typically later in the night, either at her lab or outside the church..but not in daylight. I ask her abt this after few weeks and she says she didn't want her friends to catch her with me because she wouldn't be able to explain how we met. And that's that. For being honest and upfront, I ended up playing the ho.

Bottomline - TCH or not, desi guys are looked at with the same suspicious eye, don't you think? IMO, TCHism is like smoking - when you're young, you don't care much. When you get married, you mature and stop it (or) at least cut it down.

One last very personal q for you, punkster - if you're open to marrying a desi guy, how are you gonna gauge and find out if he's not a TCH?

renegade said...

et, why are you being defensive man? this post is not aimed at you per se and you must learn to see that. you can say you were under peer pressure but thats no reason to behave like a hypocritical arse. you will not be a recluse if you stand up for urself because i did stand up for myself in college and ppl understood and it was all cool.so peer pressure is not really a strong enuf reason, i think.
sorry for taking your commentspace punkster, ths is my first time here.

~ et ~ said...

Renegade, you got a point. I'm prolly being defensive because I'm guilty as charged. Or at least I was.

I'm prolly gonna get f*cked sideways by a bunch of alpha females for this but I think this blog is way too intense in what it portrays - feels almost like a therapy session for survivors of TCH trauma. Girls are typically way smarter when it comes to relationships - I don't see any of these girls letting a TCH walk over them. Then why all this emotional explosion? Does it make good content for a blog, hell yes :)

And tamil punkster, this is not the typical "oh you look familiar" shit - trust me, I think we've met. Not sure how, when or where. Before I get stereotyped into "oh, there goes another TCH", I'll choose not to explore this any further. Just promise not to rip me apart.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Vince: *stares*

@ Anon (I think both comments are yours): Erm, ok, NO. I dont want people to become um 'angrezi' as you so put it or anything. Not being hypocritical or indulging in ridiculous double standards for starters would be nice, thats all.

@ et: Well to answer your last question, I'm not really thinking of marriage at all. IF it happens, its somewhere in the distant future and I think its too early to ask me if I'm looking to marry a desi guy or not because I'm really ambiguous about marriage to begin with, let alone who or what type of guy I'm going to marry.

And as I've said earlier, I'm not elevating anyone on a pedestal. I know how some desi girls behave and I personally think that its a convoluted vicious cycle. They quote TCH guys when questioned about their behavior and TCH guys quote them when questioned about their behavior which leads to an abstruse vicious cycle.

@ renegade: Hello! You don't have to be sorry or anything for taking up comment space!

Drunken Master said...

I know this guy who's been married for 9 months now, never slept with his wife, screams at her in public, makes her sob with his constant passive-aggressive rants, says he doesn't trust her (with her sitting nect to him) but justifies it all by saying it's a man's job to keep a woman in her place.

Oh, and while he is planning to move in with her (they stay apart right now), he wants a 2 bedroom - I vonder vhy?

Wonder if one can compare the hero I know (NOT a friend) and TCH and see which one is worse.

BTW, I'm not the sharpest but I'm a wee bit surprised you didn't meander off onto Shylock's "Hath not a Jew eyes..." speech in #2.

Cheers

anonymouse said...

That's that, eh?

*Fires up the GIMP*.

Sudha said...

oh god! TCh are like the absolute worst species of mankind! i know stories of how some had relationships (and i use that word due to respect for the female in the equation) with firang women, and then broke up with them just b4 going to India saying that their parents "values" wud be hurt if they did'nt marry and Indian woman.
Absolutely barf-worthy :X

Deepti said...

Ummm... and at the end of the day, they'll call their mom's and ask to be hooked to a nice desi girl ;) with no bad habits... the irony of it .. ;) ;)

Anurag said...

Isn't it funny that some people write more in the comments section of your blog than they do on their own blogs? Ha ha! I laught at such fools. Ha ha!

Now, if only I could think of something to post on my blog.

Anurag said...

I must agree to one of the points made in the comments above -- guys gossip as much or more as girls. My wife will forver use this comment of mine as a weapon against me when we argue about gender sterotypes, but I must agree that I have met many bitchy guys. Hell, even I tend to be bitchy about people and things once in a while. There, I am clean now and I feel lighter. :)

Anonymous said...

pnkstr... d u vnt al 2 bcum angrezi nd gv up the strp clb ritual whch is a vry "Indian" thng 2 do? Hll No! I vl go 2 strp clb bcus t s whr cultre devlps. Lng Lve Strp Clbs and TCHs.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Drunken master: your non-friend is just a living, breathing example of vile scum. Oh and he's planning to move in with her but he wants a two bedroom apartment? The poor woman. I hope she welcomes him into the new apt with divorce papers. Although,the chances for something like that to happen is probably erm, one in a gazillion.

And ha ha, I don't think I'll slide down that slope of woeful tragical-ness, yet. :)

@ Anonymouse: Oh oh not yet, not yet! I've changed my mind! I have decided to lay off the purple sequined bikini top. I think I'll go with gold sequins instead! Metallics are in this spring, didnt you know? ;)

@ Sudha: Oh because firang women are harlots, no? They're not Savithiri's like us! Come on now.

@ Deepti:

Its.been.so.long.OMG.where.have.you.been?

Yes, Deepti! Because you know a girl trying to do something for fun? Gasp! That is just unadultrated blasphemy!

Heh.

@ Anurag: That'll be $20 for confessing to Dr.Punkster. And you got lucky, 20 bucks is a bargain.I'm not usually this magnanimous.

*chuckle*

@ Anonymous: (my poor eyes) Really? Are strip clubs the new temples of desi culture? Oh my, you learn something new everyday!

Bwahahahahaha!

anonymouse said...

It doesn't matter, the GIMP can handle it.

It might be easier on you to read Photoshop in place of GIMP.

hedonistic hobo said...

not to deny or mislead you in to ever believing that such men don't abound in the homeland, but i meet very few of them here. i sometimes get the feeling that a lot of desis, the ones not living in the des, are content with preserving very antedilluvian sensibilities about gender, sexual politics, social relations. life in general. this may be a gross oversimplification and an unfair stereotype to prescribe, especially since there are desis like yourself out there. but the majority i have met championed a terrifyingly feudal interpretation of modern india. dunno why?

though unwittingly you and i have both written about the feudal ethos of our country.

Anonymous said...

Punkstr anty cd u pls xpln wht u mean. 'm confsd to y u thnk its wrong 4 us to sy sme gal is nt modst.

The Pilgrim said...

ah! TCH guys and let me take a step forward - TCH girls too. Have you ever seen a party ruined due to them. Believe me, it aint that pleasant.

Btw, I always thought TCH guy would not have taken you to that shady restaurant. Somehow in my experience, TCH guys and girls regularly flock to those restaurants. I would infact have hoped he would have avoided that, or an analysis you missed ?

AYTIDA said...

typical weekend of a TCH:

friday night... get drunk and go to a dance bar and try to get some grinding from goris

saturday.. call desi girl and see if she wants to go out for a movie and dinner (date)

if desi girl is busy, get drunk again and go to a strip bar or some random bar where u can see/touch skin. learn culture there :))

sunday... call desi girl again and have lunch with her... if that doesnt work... sit with a bunch of TCH's and bitch about all the desi girls and talk about all the fun in the strip bar... which stripper let what guy do what to her!!!

how do i know?? hell!! i live with 2 other TCH's and i am sick and tired of their life.... if they have one that is.

they will never go to a restaurant with some american friends because they get no gossip there and there is no way they can "learn culture" there....

they do not want to wath sport unless it is cricket...

there is now way they are part of any social/ cultural organization but the indian student assoc. because that is the only place where they fancy picking up a girl!!

and what do they call people who are active members in different clubs and who is usually busy doing other things during the weekend.... "not very desi"!!! lucky me!!

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Heya Megha!
Coming back to Blogger after an eternity. Yeah, studies, survival, life ate me up for some time.
As for the post, *endless sighing*. I couldn't agree more. Your post described it all SO well! In Paris (yeah, I'm stuck here for like a few years), you don't see many desi guys....but the ones you DO see, well, they're typical TCHs. The fact that there are very few desis in my uni makes it somewhat tolerable but the moment you step out, desis plague you with that what-a-desi-girl-wears and how-a-desi-girl-should behave jazz. In bars, you can't greet a desi guy (usually the friend of a friend of friend or something) without receiving a look of real disapproval in return. It basically reads as, "Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing in such clothes in a bar, of all places, drinking at midnight? You're an Indian GIRL!" Really! That's just so...uh, I don't have a really mean word to describe it. Some just come outright and say it..."You know, you're Indian. Be careful of how you behave here." It's as if they're here to give endless lectures on "morality" and how-to-behave-like-a-GOOD-Indian-girl. The, there are those desis who think your parents were really crazy to send you, a GIRL, abroad to live alone! I've recently taken to saying that I'm adopted and my so-called parents hate me...that's why I'm abroad and also add that I'm sure all desis, including guys who live here alone must be adopted and hated too. :P

the wannabe indian punkster said...

@ Anonymouse: I was a faithful adherent of the GIMP once. Ahh good times.

@ Hobo: Exactly! I know that desi men like the ones I've descibed abound in the homeland, but the men Ive interacted with in India are for the most part, normal. I really dont know what happens to them when they leave the des. Are they suddenly fraught with fears of losing their 'Indian' identity? Have they always harbored feudal notions to begin with? Is it just plain peer pressure? I guess we'll never know.

And your post was lovely. Tirupathi is to South Indians what the Vaishno Devi temple is to North Indians. And money literally pours into Tirupathi but no, why bother improving the place? Who cares about cleaning it up?
I heard recently that the conditions in Tirupathi have improved, but with the amout of money that pours into that place, you could literally pave the streets with gold. And with THAT amount of money, I KNOW they can afford to keep the place f***ing spotless. It makes me seethe, just thinking about it. And OMFG I cant even start on the class system there aka if you have money you stand for a long darshan, if you dont you get pushed out even before you can make out the shape of the idol (youve put it wonderfully in your post).

I feel your pain hobo, I really really do.

@ Anonymous: You are determined to make me myopic at the very least, I see. As for your comment, all I have to say is rofl.

@ The Pilgrim: This restaurant was in fact more dubious than the usual desi haunts, so much so that even the desis avoided going there. So it wasnt an analysis I missed or anything. Its just what happened.

@ Aytida: That is so true! I really feel bad that you have to live with such morons. Atleast you havent sunk in the mire they have created around themselves, so good for you.

@ TGWSTW: Yay! You’re back! And in Paris too! Lucky you! And screw the desis. Really, screw them. You’re in Paris dammit. You MUST have the best time of your life and don’t let any desi moron ruin it for you.

That Armchair Philosopher said...

you know. *yawn* this is getting old. punk - new post already!!

half the people in here as far as i can make out have no clue about what they're talking about. they do, however, seem to have found an outlet to vent feelings they would never otherwise. i might agree with et or whoever it was above who labeled (correctly, i might add) this as a makeshift-forum for people who may or may not have had adverse experiences.

BUT STOP GENERALIZING!

like tgwstw. W.T.F? you meet people in bars who talk about moral duties and all the rest of that crap? in Par-eeh? REALLY? man, i'd like to see some of these people. in bars. drinking.

no, that doesn't happen for the most part because even people who maintain double standards about things will shy away from doing certain things. and talking to women in a bar while drinking is one of those.

or perhaps you're just tragically unlucky in that you meet the shittiest, barely-scraped-off-the-seine variety of desis in these places. either way, have you noticed that non-indians too can be the same? sure, their views are wide open when it comes to who's sleeping with who(m?) and whether that cleavage should be visible or not. but there ARE other things apart from sex which no one here seems to talk about where you can see how shallow they are. anyone here been to italy? talked to *gasp* italians when you were there?

bah. one more comment which exemplifies that shallowness.. and *I* might don that sequinned top with a mini skirt and hoist a banner.

and i won't even shave my legs.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Erm TAP, with your 'STOP GENERALIZING' shout, I hope you realized that I specifically did not use 'all desi men' or 'all desi men in USA/UK/Australia/Insert suitable foreign country here' at all. I clearly demarcated one specific sub-type i.e. the TCH boy and this post was a rant aimed at THAT specific sub-type only. So it hardly classifies as generalizing against all desi men or whatever.

However, if your 'STOP GENERALIZING' shout was not really aimed at me, then ignore all of the above.

Heh.

koonj said...

this is some good stuff, WIP. nice writing.

That Armchair Philosopher said...

~~it wasnt~~

:)

Zee said...

WHAT A KICK ASS POST!!!! so coooooooolllllllllll!!!!!!!!! :) :):)

Anonymous said...

armchair:

This is just a fickle group of people who love to scratch each others backs.

They are like baboons and have zero social life. Their ultimate aim in life is to feed on each other's insecurities and feel happy that they arent alone.

punkster... bura math manna.. u need some discipline in your life. Maybe someone who can discipline you. Therey garwale blog nahi padthe kya ? besharam ho thum. you are too provocative. Thank god you just write and not post pics.

Why cant you behave like regular women and blog about jewellery, fashion and clothes. Remember this. When you seek allah in your life. You will find it in a man.

And you need a man to impregnate you. Othewise your womanhood is incomplete.

Salim

Vijayeta said...

Phew!
What a brilliantly written post! I can so feel your anger and irritation with the likes of TCH. What's worse is when these guys return to India and start dating Indian women, they react exactly the same way about their progressiveness. They can't handle the fact that girls in India can wear short skirts and bikinis too and go clubbing, and they might smoke or drink a bit too.
I think, more than the women's outward appearances, these guys are hugely terrified of their minds. A woman with a mind of her own, which she isn't afraid to use is what scares them to death. And becoming like TCH is an easy safety net, isn't it? And they can get as rabid as they want about it.
Freaks of nature!

P.S. More power to you for coming up with that excellent way of registering your protest and anger :)
They will be foaming at the mouth for sure!
What fun!
:D

Anonymous said...

Hi,

Just a note to thank you for the book ref (Devi: Goddesses Of India). For some strange reason, hadn't been able to access the link to your comment space (it used to come up blank) since I posted my previous comment, so saw your reply only today.

Gracias.

~N.

Yogi said...

when i come there in two months, i hope for gods sake im not part of the TCH group..oh hold on im going to work!!

McGermy said...

Salim,
Oh my brother from another mother, I feel your pain. It is because of sheep like you, who blindly preach whatever was said to you, that the world is where it is.

Ever heard of equality? From your brilliant comment, I think you might have missed that word, since your esteemed opinion about women is that they exist so you can "impregnate" them, not to mention treat them like your furniture.

"They are like baboons and have zero social life. Their ultimate aim in life is to feed on each other's insecurities and feel happy that they arent alone."

Clearly, we all know who the baboon is here.

"And you need a man to impregnate you. Othewise your womanhood is incomplete."

Wait.. is this euphemism for "I need to get laid. Pronto"?

that girl in pink said...

indian punkster - 1
desi cretins - 0

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

@ TAP:
sure, i met a prick like that once. too bad i didn't film the whole thing or i'd have sent it to you to prove it. without that, you'll have to take my honest li'l word for it. *adjusts her shiny halo* so the story goes like this (take a pillow and go off to sleep...my stories are boring): the desi that i'm talking about TALKED to me because he happened to be my buddy's buddy's buddy and he was there at the bar solely because he was invited to a get-together and we talked because we were introduced...obviously, people here think you feel happy to meet compatriots, which is not always true because such darling compatriots are really not worth talking to.
or perhaps you're just tragically unlucky in that you meet the shittiest, barely-scraped-off-the-seine variety of desis in these places.
i'll agree with this one...but only to some extent. i don't meet many indians because there aren't a lot of them in my uni. otherwise too, indian faces are not as common here as in the US or UK or some other anglophonic country.
regarding the shallowness of people, whether they be french or desis, i don't disagree. the italians i know are classmates and i can't say much but french, in general, are shallow, though they don't really jump to the conclusion of your being a whore if you happen to drink/smoke/go out alone/blah and blah. anyway, i talked about the TCH sort of guys which i have found in abundance here. sure, not all indian guys are like that. i know 2-3 here who are definitely not...my comment was on the majority of them that i've met.

Warrior Prince said...

Its not just the boys who are outside our country having this practice.

They just idolize this type of behavior among friends to be accepted
in the group.

Anonymous said...

Salim- dude what century do you live in?

**Why cant you behave like regular women and blog about jewellery, fashion and clothes.***

Seriously, you this thats all women are capable of. No wait a gosh darn cotton picking minute! You also think that women are only baby producing machines!!!! Much better! Wha kya bhat hai!! *Applause**

***And you need a man to impregnate you. Othewise your womanhood is incomplete.***

Is it some code language for you need to impregnate a woman or your manhood is incomplete?

Come into the 21st century and grow up not necessarily in that order.

That Armchair Philosopher said...

Ah, lovely debate as usual. No wonder you don't post that often - how else would we get to sample posts as subtly delicious as Salims.

Salim. I think you're either someone who's just using that name to type out a comment to incite more flames. OR. or. you DO indeed think like that - in which case, I'm just distraught that you agree with me. I would *never* side with you in any discussion. ever. WTF are you talking about anyway?

oh oh, and didn't you know God is a woman? sheesh.

@tgwstw - now thats a video I'dve loved to see. Hmm, I don't know whether to call you lucky or otherwise for not seeing too much of the type of cretins this discussion has been about - but I guess you have your own share of troubles, living in France :)

@last anon - heh. I think thats just a frustrated view of having never been laid before.

La vida Loca said...

your comments section goes into a whole other dimension every time :)

That Armchair Philosopher said...

and you've been tagged.

Pixie said...

Awesome post!! I know i'm commenting a bt late, but you get the TCH types in India too not just outside...
We used to have such fun in college around these guys...
I had a friend who was a TCH too (I know! shocking!!), he was such an asshole (now to think of it - why were we friends???)
One of the most frequent comments is - "My Fiancee is NOT Like u, she is conservative and very Indian" WTF???!!!
TCHs are there everywhere and in all shapes and sizes!!!
My first visit here and enjoyed myself quite a bit!

Sachin said...

Ahem.....better late than never.... Gr8888888888 post!!! Hilarious and holds absolutely true for the TCH types!!! :)

Also, having gone through most of your comments, I see you have at least 2 convoluted Type B TCHs here as well. Obviously, they seem to be still in India - which sets a all new precedent, "The TCH Who Does Not Need To Be In A Western Country To Exhibit An Attitude That Is Worse Than A Typical TCH"!! :)

Great writing... Cheers!!!

Vijay said...

first time here.. and was wondering is this post about me.. most probably about most Indian guys.. I normally make the girls open up and act their real self instead of trying to use savitriism.. then suddenly some day a word slips that gets me a look that says, you too!!.. then I go back to being the spokesman for change.. and to hate the people who are very sure that the low hipped saree wearing woman is a w...e ... and then another slip and .. to say the least I've lost many friends, though 98% of me is fine.. does feel bad branded .. but the 2 % is so bad I do feel,.. when the hell will I grow up and leave the adolescent ways.. its tough being an Indian male with so much rubbed on unconsciously which has to be gotten rid of conciously..
anyways nice post.. many does change and many does carry on..

sarah said...

"punkster... bura math manna.. u need some discipline in your life. Maybe someone who can discipline you. Therey garwale blog nahi padthe kya ? besharam ho thum. you are too provocative. Thank god you just write and not post pics.

Why cant you behave like regular women and blog about jewellery, fashion and clothes. Remember this. When you seek allah in your life. You will find it in a man.

And you need a man to impregnate you. Othewise your womanhood is incomplete."

oh my god, this is classic. i am torn between laughing and crying.

or hunting salim down and taking away his manhood.

seriously!! allah in a man...is that like genie in a bottle, salim?

karlton said...

TCH boy is busy salivating over the gori randi’s hoping that he has a shred of chance to get laid (because gori’s are all prostitutes, no) and thinks that TWR girl is not worth his time of the day.

Nice post, but the pedant in me can't help but point out:

it should say "randis" and "goris". Wrong use of the apostrophe; the Panda sez NO!

Anonymous said...

Guys who are supposed to be friends, call a girl randi behind her back. I was trying to figure out the exact meaning of randi, so i googled "randi + india" and landed up here. Seems like, you have her entire story here.

sumguy@nyc said...

nice blog but the statement that abstaining from illicit physical relations before marraige is not aberrant and expecting someone similar is also not dont think we have moved so far forward in our mod thinking that good becomes bad and vice a versa.......

Gambit said...

Holy Cow, I just cracked up laughing. Real funny. Can't say how real this is and how common this is in the real world, but nonetheless I like your work. Would like to see more posts like this. :)

Vivek said...

The author for sure is no TWR and I as a reader can vouch that I aint no TCH.

But fun apart, that was a great article. If only all indian guys can learn to respect TWR or NTWR we would be a different place altogether. ( Fun again - that includes second base )