2/15/07

Whipping for change

I’m starting my own dating service.

No, really.

It’ll specifically cater to the idolization of the hallucinatory union between resplendent, non misogynistic men with PhD’s and quick-witted brown dominatrixes with fat non inherited bank accounts. The criterion for the men is as follows:

Under 25: Must be in the process of completing a PhD. Must have a deleterious affinity towards whips and chains. Must look like a cross between Sendhil Ramamurthy and ah, I give up. Must look like him, period.

Between 26-35: Must have completed at least one PhD in either retro psycho kinesis or the super powers possessed by the human biomind. Must have grass green or brown eyes. Must appreciate the pulchritude of corsets.

36 and above: Sweaty old potbellied men will be shunned. Must not possess any temperamental baggage in the form of bratty kids, clingy parents or aberrant siblings. Must look like a cute distant cousin of Josh Holloway. Or Daniel Dae Kim. Or Arjun Rampal. Or Sendhil Ramamurthy*. You get the picture.

Women need to be twice as intelligent as the men (makes for good dominatrix-humble servant relationships), brown and rich and indulge in the fine art of dominatrix-ing.

Sounds fairly conceivable, no?

What is my muse for this anomalous dating service, you ask?

Well, I bow down to the esteemed folks who masterminded the creation of Pocket Change, a dating service dedicated to:

honoring the age old union of wealthy men and hot girls. Society has taught us to not publicly acknowledge the obvious - no longer dear friends. Women want money in a man, men want beauty in a woman – this is a factual force of nature. Women don’t ask “So, what does he do for a living?” because they’re interested in his personality and guys don’t ask “is she hot?” because they’re concerned with character. Guys know that money buys them the car, the house and the trophy wife. This genetic cleansing is how the wealthy stay beautiful.


[sic]

Since I am but a neophyte in this cut-throat dating service business and all, I cannot help but have a high regard for the sheer brilliance of their mission in honoring the age old union of wealthy men and hot girls. Who am I to undermine their superior authority on the history, biology, genetics and psychology behind what women and men want?

Especially when faced with such highbrowed statements like,

Women want money in a man, men want beauty in a woman – this is a factual force of nature.


Or this intellectual, nonbelligerent gem,

Guys know that money buys them the car, the house and the trophy wife. This genetic cleansing is how the wealthy stay beautiful.


That is why I have decided to get off my high horse, acknowledge greatness, and follow in the footsteps of my dating service guru (aka pocket change) and start a dating service of my own called ‘Whipping for change: whip or be whipped’.

Gullible candidates who are interested may make out applications to Mistress Astarte.

Ahem.

* I cant make my Sendhil Ramamurthy idolatry more obvious, can I?

2/4/07

Tab love

Say hello to the woman with the bleeding mouth y'all.

Yeah I made this template myself; coding, CSS, blah blah, everything.

And check out the supercoolfantabulous tabs (on top)

It's all about the tab love.

*kisses social life goodbye*