Like this of course! (click on image for larger version)
Behold the imposing feat of raising crucial ‘awareness’ through a boobalicious mouse pad! If fondling gynormous rubber mammaries ensconced in a lacy blue number while surfing the interweb doesn’t make you well, lucidly aware of a pesky life threatening illness such as breast cancer and what it entails, then I can’t possibly imagine what will!
And what pray, is the infantile reasoning behind the achingly enlightening ‘creative’ ideas for this campaign?
This advertisement presents a tridimensional mouse mat with breasts made by rubber which positions females as target consumers. When you put hands on it and drag the mouse it seems like massaging breasts.
You see, since doing a self examination involves a certain amount of breast massaging, this mouse pad will immediately force people to ricochet off their seats with one gropey mouse click and have them actively massaging their breasts in a frenzied display of breast cancer ‘awareness’!
The clarity. The brilliance. It burns.
Oh, but it just gets better and better. This was made with women as target consumers. Maybe my propensity for being a harridan renders me incapable of anything but cynicism, but I would give my right hand to know what the creative heads at this agency were smoking. I mean, evidently they get their sublime inspirational leanings from your friendly frat-bro’s dudely guide to thrashing about in a cesspit of objectification and misogyny cause its FUN BITCHEZ, YEA! Or maybe they get their cues from manly websites* which are entirely devoted to the sale of mouse pads tastefully adorned with ergonomic boobs and ass cheeks peeking through a not-there thong which would have definitely made Sisqó or at the very least, Sir Mix-a-Lot proud. But oh, they care about you! These classily busty (and assy) pads are made specifically for reducing the risk of bodily injuries like carpel tunnel syndrome, by providing you with an ergonomic wrist rest in the form of the valley between the titties and butt cheeks. Imaginative, useful and exploitative! Now that’s a killer combination, if I ever saw one!
Some samples (possibly NSFW):
If anime floats your boat, then:
Right, so what are the differences between these mouse pads and the one made for ‘awareness’? Really, I’m on a need to know basis here. These mouse pads are marketing to guys who think exploitation and barefaced sexism is a bit o' fun for the bros and shit like this is oh-so-hilarious. So what really is the difference between the ‘awareness’ mouse pad and these uproarious nudge-nudge wink-wink protuberant ass/boobies and how does that translate into highlighting the importance of breast cancer self examination?
One can argue that the intent was noble of course (I think my eyes inadvertently rolled themselves into my skull), but isn’t that a contemptible way of excusing the obviously banal taste and design choices of the creative team behind this campaign? What really fuels my ire is the absurd sexualization of breast cancer in this instance. Because it concerns breasts see? We all know that boobies = sexay! Everyone wins! N.o.t.
And I can practically smell the apologist bull feces defending the mouse pad for its ‘witty’ and ‘subversive’ choices in dealing with a dreadful disease such as breast cancer.
So allow me to list them out myself.
1) But it’s done for a-w-a-r-e-n-e-s-s! Surely because of this righteous reason, the creative heads should be absolved of all responsibility and are above even a shred of criticism, even if they essentially mock and demean the female populace (the majority of folks who actually contract the disease y’all, go figure!) in the process.
2) Why don’t you have a sense of humor? Clearly this product has a sense of humor about it which is indispensable when faced with life threatening circumstances. So lighten up will ya? Jeebus!
3) Well, why do you find it preposterous that the mouse pad is marketed to women? You are a duplicitous bigot and you support heteronormativity because you cannot wrap your mind around the fact that women like breasts.
4) Why are you such a prude? I always knew that feminists hated sex and anything sexual and you just about proved my point. Aren’t you being hysterical about rubber boobs? Stop complaining, massage them and learn something in the process. They are made of rubber after all.
Have I left out anything else that a discerning boob/funbag/titty aficionado might find infuriating about my views on the ‘awareness’ mouse pad? Oh well, I tried.
What have we come to, when even a breast cancer self examination campaign is reduced to debasing women with its noxious objectification of the very body part plagued by the disease it sets out to raise awareness over?
Would it be acceptable to conceive of an awareness campaign for prostate cancer, with a phallic mouse pad adorned with an ergonomic bulging rubber scrotum/nuts/balls peeking out through a sexy not there g-string? No?
I’m just asking.
* No, I refuse to link to those websites.